


When We're No Longer Here

by zeon_avalanthe



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-12
Updated: 2011-02-18
Packaged: 2018-10-18 06:22:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 46,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10611060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeon_avalanthe/pseuds/zeon_avalanthe
Summary: Imagine what will happen, if your presence are no longer exist. Imagine what will hapen, if you're no longer known by any. Imagine what will happen, if the one you can count on is only, you.





	1. Prologue - The Beginning Of The Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Imported from my LJ account. Unbeta-ed.

“What would you do if I’m no longer here ?”  
  
The 9 JUMP member are all stunned by the sudden question and automatically turn their head to the one who asked that.  
  
“What are you talking about Yama-chan ?” Daiki frown at the younger boy. It’s true that he’d been quiet all day, but he thought it was just because of the nervousness because the concert they will held in an hour.  
  
“What would you do if the very things you know about me were no longer exist ?” Ryosuke ignore Daiki’s question and keep on asking.  
  
“Okay Yama-chan, this is not funny at all. You’re freaking us out. And hell, we’re freaking out already by the tense atmosphere of the concert !” Hikaru said frantically.  
  
Ryosuke say nothing, instead he frowns and a look of disappointment can be seen plastered all over his face.  
  
Keito can’t help but frown at his friend’s antics. “Say Yama-chan, why did you asked such questions ? As if you’re trying to say, goodbye ?” He asks hesitantly.  
  
Ryosuke’s figure stiffened a bit but he soon covers it up. “No reason. Just curious about it.” He looks at his own feet, avoid any eyes-contact.  
  
The rest of JUMP member just stare at the teen in confusion. There’s no way Ryosuke would say such thing for no reason at all. They know something is going on but they decided to keep silent. Ryosuke is the type of guy who would tell people his problems and so they try to believe in him and wait for him to say what’d been bothering him.  
  
“Could you just please answer my questions ?” Ryosuke’s bold question once again had made them stunned.  
  
An awkward silence fill the room as no one knows what to say, until Daiki decided to break it.  
  
“Me personally, will never forget you even if your existence is gone. I will hold on what little remained from you and forever remember you. We’re not just a simple bandmates, aren’t we ? We’re bestfriends, and on top of that, we’re families. So no matter what happened to you or to the other member, your presence in my heart won’t ease up, because you’re all my families, and families are not supposed to forget each other, aren’t they ?” Daiki smile warmly.  
  
Ryosuke look up to see him straight. He looks dazed by Daiki’s words.  
  
Takaki pat his shoulder. “I agree with Dai-chan. No matter what happened, we will remain as families and so we won’t be separated in our heart. And I guess everyone else are thinking the exact same thing, right, minna ?”  
  
Ryosuke turn to see the older boy and he feels content as he saw those warm smile. He turns to see the other’s expressions and found a similar warm smiles plastered on their faces. He feels secured.  
  
“Arigatou, minna.” Ryosuke return the smile whole-heartedly.  
  
“Minna-san, please be ready. The concert will be started in 15 min.” One of the staff remind them of what they supposed to do.  
  
“Okay. I guess we should focus in this thing for now.” Yabu stand and make sure everyone is ready before leading them out of the room.  
  
******************************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Ah, I’m so tired. But I’m happy ne~ A lot of people came~” Yuto exclaim happily at JUMP’s dressing room after the concert finished.  
  
“Yeah. It was fun ne~” Ryutaro agreed.  
  
“My favorite part was when Yuya almost trip over his own foot. Thank god I was able to restrain myself from laughing out loud.” Daiki chirped as he seated himself at the couch beside Ryosuke.  
  
“Mou~ You’re meanie Dai-chan~” Takaki pout, and it make them all laugh.  
  
But then, Daiki realize that the boy beside him was silent since they finished the concert. As he watches his fellow more carefully, he realized that Ryosuke is currently daydreaming, and he’s a bit pale too.  
  
“Yama-chan ? You’re alright ?” Daiki’s question make the other member turn their direction toward the said boy. But it seemed that he’s oblivious to his surrounding as he keep on staring to nothing particularly.  
  
“Yama-chan ?” Daiki try to call his name again. “Hey ! Yama-chan !” He shaked the boy’s body as he wasn’t responding before.  
  
Feeling someone’s shaking his body off, make Ryosuke return snap back into reality. “Ah, Dai-chan, what’s wrong ?” He asks timidly.  
  
“It’s me who should’ve asked that. Are you alright ? You were spacing out just now.” Daiki sigh as he heard the younger boy’s voice.  
  
“Really ? Well, I’m alright though. Thanks for asking.” Ryosuke try to force a smile.  
  
“You sure ? You don’t seem well though.” Yabu frown as he examines the chubby boy’s paleness.  
  
“I’m alright. Just a little tired. Sorry for worrying you.” Ryosuke said reassuringly. He then stand up and walking toward his things, but in the next second, he suddenly fall to the ground.  
  
“YAMA-CHAN !” The 9 teens rushed toward the boy panickedly.  
  
“Yama-chan ? Can you hear me ? Hey, Yama-chan ?!” Yabu call out as he places the boy’s head on his lap.  
  
“I’ll call an ambulance.” Keito volunteer as he reach over his phone and start dialing some numbers.  
  
While Keito make a call, Hikaru help Yabu to pick the boy’s body up and place him on the couch. Ryutaro put a pillow under his head and Chinen running over to find a blanket to cover the unconscious boy’s body. In the end, they used their jackets since they can’t find any blankets anywhere.  
  
**********************************************************************************************************************  
  
They watch as Ryosuke’s eyes fluttered open slowly. They soon approach him and release a relieved sigh.  
  
“Yama-chan yokatta~” Chinen reach up and hold Ryosuke’s hand tightly.  
  
“We were so worried.” Inoo said with a smile.  
  
“Minna, what happened ? Where am I ?” Ryosuke ask hoarsely.  
  
“You were fainted. Now you’re in a hospital. We’ve called your parents and now they’re talking with the doctor.” Yabu inform him.  
  
“Aa.” Ryosuke reply simply as he tries to sit up with Daiki’s help.  
  
“How are you feeling now ?” Hikaru ask concernedly. It’s weird to see the Joker like that, but they can’t blame him since they’re also worried over the boy.  
  
“I’m fine.” Ryosuke answer quietly.  
  
They fall into a pregnant silence.  
  
“Yama-chan ?” Ryutaro call out.  
  
“Hn ?” Ryosuke turn to face the youngest boy.  
  
“What happened, you know, earlier ? Why did you fainted ?” He asks hesitantly.  
  
Ryosuke seem hesitant for a while. “I don’t know. Maybe I was just too tired. I was feeling a bit dizzy though back then.”  
  
Before anyone could say more, the door creaked open and 4 adults walking inside.  
  
“Ryosuke, you’re awake.” Ryosuke’s mother approach her son and caress her son’s hair lovingly.  
  
“Saa, Ryosuke-kun, I’m going to check on you now. Minna-san, could you please move aside for a while ?” A man in a white coat they recognized as the doctor who treated Ryosuke before said calmly. He then move to check on Ryosuke’s body while the nurse is busy writing his diagnosis.  
  
“Well, I guess you’re fine now. But I’m afraid that you have to spend a night here. You will be discharged tomorrow.” The doctor tell him while smiling warmly.  
  
“Arigatou sensei.” Ryosuke thanked him.  
  
The doctor frown for a while. “Ryosuke-kun, I heard that you were having severe headaches lately, is that true ?”  
  
Ryosuke widen his eyes. “H-hai. But they weren’t so severe. Just a bit dizziness.”  
  
“I see. You passed out before due to exhaustion. And it seems like you were stressed too. I assume it was because of your works. It was also the reason of your recent headaches.” The doctor narrated. “Don’t take it easy over this kind of problems, this could end up bad if you don’t be careful. And as your doctor, I strongly advise you to take more rest. And if you could, reduce your activities too.”  
  
Ryosuke look at the white blanket and neither agree nor reject it. His bandmates could only stare at the boy with a worried expressions on their faces.  
  
“I know this will be hard for you as an entertainer, but this is for the best for you. To prevent any other damage which would occur if you continue like this.” The doctor add up, and Ryosuke has no other choice but to nod. “Good. I guess I’ll leave now.” He says so as he starts to leave the room.  
  
“Saa, I guess we should leave too. It’s getting late.” Yabu suggested.  
  
The other members just nod in agreement as they start to bid Ryosuke goodbye.  
  
“Yamada-san, we’ll be leaving now. Please excuse us. Yama-chan, get well soon okay.” Yabu said as he leads the other out of the room.


	2. Chapter 1 - The Dissapearance Of A Friend

“Yama-chan ? Wanna hang out to the town after practice ?” The shortest member in JUMP ask the boy who looks like looking for something in his bag.  
  
“Gomen Chi, but I can’t. I have something else to do.” Ryosuke smile half-heartedly. He then walks out of the room after finding what he’d been looking for. A small white tube which he always brought anywhere lately.  
  
It’d been 2 weeks since the star dancer started to change. Ever since that day, he’d become unsociable. He used to be one of the noisiest boy in the group, but now he’s the quietest one. He always reject it whenever JUMP ask him to go out. Even Chinen Yuri, one of his bestfriend in JUMP, only got a mutual time together with him when they walked home together after SK shoot.  
  
“What’s wrong Chi ?” Daiki ask the short boy as he sits on his lap.  
  
Chinen frown. “Yama-chan said ‘no’ again. He never said ‘no’ before. He always said ‘yes’ when I asked him for something, no matter how busy he was.”  
  
“He’d been like that lately. I wonder what happened after we left him that day.” Daiki also frown.  
  
“Maybe he has a problem with his family or something. Let him be. I believe he will be normal soon.” Yabu suddenly joined in.  
  
“But he’d never been like that when he was having a problem with his family before !” Yuto burst in. “When he fought with his sister about his strawberry, he chose to rant instead of kept silence !”  
  
“Yuto, it’s not even a family problem. It’s just a cat-fight.” Inoo tell the boy disbelievingly.  
  
“Well my point is, Yama-chan is not the kind of person who will keep his problem with himself. Did you ever found him keeping a secret from you ?” Yuto ask with wide eyes.  
  
Everyone shake their heads. But that make them even more confused than before. It’s true that Ryosuke never kept a secret from them, so why does he acted like he hides one from them now ?  
  
No one in JUMP know what happened to Ryosuke. No one know why he changed. Only one thing they know. Something is going on with him, and that’s not good. And that is the reason of why Daiki, along with Takaki who wanted to go home with him, and Chinen who care too much for Ryosuke, decided to follow the boy that day.  
  
“Dai-chan, are you sure Yama-chan won’t find us out ?” Chi ask worriedly.  
  
“Well he will if you keep making noises, so keep your mouth shut Chi !” Daiki hiss annoyedly.  
  
“There he is !” Takaki exclaim, pointing at the boy they’ve been talking about when he walks out the Jimusho.  
  
“Ikkou zo!” Daiki start to follow the boy.  
  
At first, they don’t know where Rosuke is going as he seems to walk randomly. But then they found him entering a Café and seated himself in front of an unfamiliar girl who seemed to had been waiting for him there.  
  
They can’t hear of what Ryosuke and that girl talked about because they sit quite far from them. Beside, the 2 of them seemed to talk in secrecy since their voices are so low and they put a serious faces all the time. The 3 JUMP member curious about what their friend is talking about, but they won’t take a risk of being caught eavesdropping by him, so they stay at where they are and wait for him to finish his talk.  
  
After 10 min or so, they can see Ryosuke lean to the chair as the girl he’d been talking to stand and start to leave the place. Not so long after, they can see Ryosuke also stand and walk outside. The expression he wears make them freeze for a moment as the teen looked sad, confuse, and what is that expression he has right now ? A pained one ?  
  
The 3 teens soon shrug it away as they begin their spying job once again. Strangely, Ryosuke seemed to unaware of where he’s going. He’s not heading toward his house, nor to any other places they know. After about 30 min of walking, Ryosuke finally stopped in front of one quite big house and just stare at it. He looked hesitant of whether he should come in or not. He just stand outside the house before he finally turns around and now, he seemed to have decided to just walk home.  
  
*********************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Ohayou minna !” Hikaru greet as he walks in to JUMP practice room, Yabu is trailing right after him.  
  
“Everyone’s here already ?” Yabu start to count.  
  
Chinen shake his head faintly.  
  
“Yama-chan is not here.” Takaki explain.  
  
Yabu frown. “Anyone know why he’s not here yet ?”  
  
“I don’t think he’ll come at all.” Yuto bluntly said.  
  
“Why ? Did he sent you a message or something ?” Yabu frown deeper.  
  
Yuto shake his head. “Just feeling. Beside, we had tried to called him but no answers were given. So I conclude he won’t be coming today.”  
  
“It’s weird. It’s not like Yama-chan to miss a practice without telling us anything, especially when the concert is near. He usually won’t miss it no matter how busy he was.” Inoo put his fingers under his chin.  
  
Yabu think the same but he knows they won’t find the answer though they think about it forever unless Ryosuke tell them himself. So he decided to shift everyone attention to practice.  
  
“We’ll ask him later. Now let’s start the practice !”  
  
Everyone follow his order reluctantly. They begin to shrug it away about the weirdness in their bandmate lately and start to focus on practice. But as for Chinen, Daiki, and Takaki, it seems to be not that simple after what they witnessed yesterday. And so the 3 of them agreed to confront the boy once they have a chance.


	3. Chapter 2 - So What Really Happened?

It’d been a week Ryosuke didn’t showed up in practice and that day, the 9 JUMP member had decided to pay the boy a visit. They knew there’s something wrong about this boy and they won’t wait any longer to figure it out right now.  
  
And so, soon after practice, Yabu, as the oldest member of JUMP lead his companions to Ryosuke’s house and press the doorbell. Not so long after, a woman they recognize as Ryosuke’s mother open the door and surprisingly showed a shocked expression as she clearly didn’t expect them to come.  
  
“You guys…”  
  
Yabu doesn’t know what to do as he just bows to the woman. “Sumimasen for coming without telling you first Yamada-san, but does Ryosuke’s home ?” He asks politely.  
  
The shocked woman blink before she finally becomes aware of what’s happening. “Ah ! Hai. Please come in.” She opens the door wider. Once they’re inside, she closes the door and tell them to sit. “Gomen. I was just a bit surprised to see you here. I mean, well, it’s so sudden. But well, would you like something to drink ?” She puts a weary smile.  
  
“Yamada-san, is everything okay ?” Inoo, be a concern boy he is, ask to the seemed to be messy woman.  
  
“Ah, hai. Everything is just fine. Please wait here for a moment. I’ll bring some drinks.” The weary woman answered nervously as she starts to walk inside.  
  
She returns a few min later bringing a tray of drinks and walk back inside to return bringing another tray of drinks and some snacks.  
  
“Saa, so what matter do you have with Ryosuke ?” She asks the 9 JUMP member as she takes a seat in front of them.  
  
“Anou, we just wanted to pay him a visit. He never came to practice for this last week and he didn’t tell us why. He won’t answer our calls so we decided to just come over.” Yabu explain for JUMP’s stead.  
  
Ryosuke’s mother’s face tensed but she tries to hide it. “Sou ka ? Well, I don’t know why he did…”  
  
“Yamada-san, I don’t mean to be rude, but, what is actually happening with Ryosuke ? We knew there’s something wrong with him and we wanted to know what is that so we could help him.” Daiki become impatient with Ryosuke’s mother’s attitude who seems to hide things from them.  
  
“Dai-chan !” Takaki warn the boy when he saw the woman’s expression turn sad.  
  
“But I can’t take it anymore Yuya ! What he’d been hiding from us ?! Why can’t we know ?!” Daiki burst out.  
  
A tear escape the only woman’s eye and she covers her mouth with her hands.  
  
“Yamada-san…” Keito try to console the woman but stopped as she suddenly stand.  
  
“Wakarimashita.” The woman said as she stands. “I guess it’s not important anymore of what he asked me to do. I believe you can help him and that’s all mattered. I just wanted the best for him.”  
  
“Yamada-san, what-?”  
  
“Please come with me. Ryosuke is in his room.” She cuts Yabu’s question as she starts to walk away. The 9 teens hesitant at first, but they follow her anyway. “He never got out from his room even once since a week ago and refused to tell us anything. The foods we sent to his room were left untouched and we are so worried about him. The only time he ever spoke to us was when he begged us not to tell anyone about this, especially to you. And that was 5 days ago, the only thing that made us knew that he’s still alive.” The woman said in a sorrow tone.  
  
JUMP left stunned concerning her explanation. What happened to their friend to made him do such things ? What’s wrong with usually happy-go-lucky Yamada Ryosuke ?  
  
Once Mrs. Yamada finally stopped in front of a door with ‘RYOSUKE’S ROOM’ plated on it, she inhales deeply before she knocks on the door.  
  
“Ryosuke dear, your bandmates are all here to see you. Open the door please.” She asks gently, but no answer is given. She knocks again. “Ryosuke please. They’re so worried about you. Please open the door dear.”  
  
“Yamada-san, let me.” Yabu volunteer. He knocks on the door once again. “Yama-chan, it’s us. Open the door please. We want to talk with you.” Still no answer.  
  
Everyone in JUMP try to do the same but they received the same answers. Nothing.  
  
“Do you have a spare key ?” Keito ask the woman.  
  
Mrs. Yamada shake her head. “We used to have one but when we tried to look for it wen Ryosuke started to locked himself up, it was nowhere to be seen. Probably Ryosuke took it with him.”  
  
“What should we do now ? We can’t possibly just walk home knowing him like this.” Chinen whine.  
  
“What if we…” Takaki look at Yabu.  
  
Yabu just nod knowingly. “Yamada-san, this might be a bit rude, but, do you mind if we break the door ?” Yabu ask the worried woman.  
  
“I guess it’s fine.” The woman said hesitantly.  
  
Yabu nod to the rest of BEST member to sign them to break the door. They try and fail. The second time nothing change particularly. After some time, they finally managed to open the door. Inoo and Hikaru both are rubbing their hurted arm when Daiki suddenly exclaim,  
  
“YAMA-CHAN !” The shortest BEST member dashed toward the limp figure who is sitting near the window, staring at the sky blankly. “Yama-chan ! Answer me !” He shakes the pale boy slowly at first, but it comes rough when the said boy didn’t give any sign of awareness to the newcomers.  
  
“Dai-chan, calm down.” Takaki try to calmed the frantic boy and pulling him away from Ryosuke.  
  
“Yama-chan, we missed you so much.” Chinen hold Ryosuke’s hands tight. “Why didn’t you got out of your room ? Your families are so worried about you. We are so worried about you.”  
  
Ryosuke keep his silence and keep on staring outside without a slight of expression on his face. The others just wait for the boy to give them a respond in worry. After a long min which seemed like forever, Ryosuke close his eyes and re-open them before he starts to move his lips.  
  
“Didn’t I tell you not to tell these guys Ka-chan ?” His voice is cold but hoarse.  
  
The woman is ready to breakdown but she managed to answered him shakily, “I didn’t. They came here by themselves because they are so worried about you dear.”  
  
“I don’t want to see them. Bring them out.” Ryosuke reply coldly.  
  
That’s it. Daiki is totally pissed by the boy’s brattiness. He struggle away from Takaki and approach the boy. He raises his right hand before it landed hard on Ryosuke’s pale cheeks, leaving red mark on it.  
  
Ryosuke is taken aback by the sudden pain on his left cheek as he subconsciously touch it. But then Daiki grab him by his collar with an angered face plastered all over his place.  
  
“What was that supposed to mean Ryosuke ?! We didn’t came all the way here just to hear you saying that you don’t want to see us ! We wanted to know what is wrong with you and we don’t accept a ‘NO’ ! Not anymore !” The older boy let his rage out. But then his face softened as he saw Ryosuke showed a pained expression and he slowly release his collar. “Please Ryosuke. We just wanted to help you.” He adds tenderly.  
  
Ryosuke turn his gaze to the wooden floor. “Gomen. Hontou ni gomen. I didn’t mean to keep a secret from you, but I can’t take a risk of you being in danger if you know.” He said hoarsely, as if he tries hard to hold back a tears.  
  
“Ryosuke…” Daiki started.  
  
“We don’t mind to get in danger for you Yama-chan.” Yuto said firmly.  
  
Ryosuke look up to see Yuto’s face who is smiling at him tenderly. He then turn to see the rest of his bandmates one-by-one and found similar expression on their faces.  
  
“We will do the same to any of JUMP member. After all, we are family, aren’t we ?” Yabu add up.  
  
“Minna…” Ryosuke utter quietly. “Arigatou.”  
  
Before any of them could say anything, Ryosuke’s phone suddenly rang. The boy suddenly stand and reach his phone. He widen his eyes when he saw who’s calling and slowly answered the call.  
  
“Hai ?”  
  
He stayed silence for couple of min before he inhales deeply and said, “Wakatta. I’ll do it.” And after that, he ends the call.  
  
He turns hesitantly to the rest of the people in his room. “Ka-chan, could you please wait outside ? I need to talk with my friends alone.” He asks his mother.  
  
His mother just nod as she begins to walk outside the room without saying anything.  
  
“What is it you wanted to talk about Yama-chan ?” Ryutaro finally voiced out.  
  
Ryosuke doesn’t say anything until he seated himself on the edge of his bed.  
  
“I don’t know if I could still live after I tell you these, but, she said that now you need to know.” Ryosuke started sadly.  
  
“What do we need to know ? Why wouldn’t you live ? Who is she ?” Hikaru bombarding him with questions and received a whack in the head from Inoo.  
  
Ryosuke smile a bit. “Well, as I said before, this is dangerous, and I actually didn’t want to involve you all in this, but I can’t do anything since this is all about us at the very first.”  
  
“Nani ?” Ryutaro frown.  
  
“Yeah. This is all had always been about JUMP. The reason why I wish JUMP never been debuted.” Ryosuke look at the ceiling longingly. “The story you won’t hear from Johnny-san or anyone else you know.”


	4. Chapter 3 - Reveal The Veil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics : Flashback

_-Ryosuke’s POV-_  
  
I was on way back home after practice when they confronted me. I’ve known these guys had been following me for a couple of days by now, but I decided to just let them be as I thought of them as an over-observant fan or such. But when they decided to showed before me, I knew I was wrong.  
  
“What do you want ?” I asked, tried to act brave in front of these intimidating people. But those guys just won’t say anything as they just kept on closing the gap between us, made me even more cornered. The next thing I knew, was a cloth with a very strong fragrance covered my nose and mouth and I knew nothing else.  
  
When I woke up, I found myself lying on a rather girly bed with a warm thick blanket covering my body. I sat up slowly, feeling a splitting headache as I moved. I looked around and totally clueless of where I am. One thing I know, I was in a girl’s room since the room is filled with pink and girlish accessories, not to mention those fluffy plushies and girl’s pictures all over the room.  
  
Just when I was about to got out of the bed, the door creaked open and a feminine figure walked in. She’s a girl not so much older than himself wearing a home pale pink dress which is hanging around her knees. Her long dark brownish hair was tied into a ponytail. She looks tired but her face soon lit up when she found me sitting on her supposed-to-be bed.  
  
“Ah ! You’re awake !” The girl chirped out.  
  
I was too stunned to proceed her words right away, but when it finally clicked on me, I decided to ask a question instead, “Who are you ?” I said tilting my head to the right. “And where am I actually ?”  
  
The girl smiled. She seemed rather relieved that I finally said something. I wondered why though, I guess it was common to be left surprised when you found out that you woke up in a place you don’t know and asked such questions. But why that girl gave an image that the voice I spoke was rather more important than the question itself ?  
  
“My name is Touyama Rui. And you’re in my room right now Yamada-kun.” She answered me softly.  
  
I frowned after hearing her speaking. “Why am I here in your room ?” I crossed my arms, determined of knowing why, not even minding of how she even knew my name. I just thought that she would’ve known me from the TV or such.  
  
The girl shifted a bit, as if she was hesitant on what to say. But then, when she started to speak, her voice was full of determination in my ears. “I suppose you remember that some random guys made you unconscious before.”  
  
I frowned a bit then widened my eyes after the realization came through my mind. Suddenly, I felt myself drenched in fear. “W-what do you want from me ?”  
  
Rui seemed concerned as to how I reacted but nonetheless, she kept on walking closer until she placed herself next to me. “Don’t worry Yamada-kun, I won’t hurt you, neither those guys would. Even though I can’t promise you they wouldn’t in the near future.”  
  
“What do you mean ?” I asked bluntly out of curiousity.  
  
Rui gave me a smile. “I was kind of, kidnapped you from them. So I guarantee your safety here with me. Though I’m not so sure of what they’ll do to you outside this door.”  
  
I frowned more. Her words just made everything become blurrer than before. “I don’t…”  
  
“Yamada-kun, I will tell you everything. About who those guys were and why they did that to you. But as for now, I’d prefer you to have something to eat. You’ve been out for quite long. It’s quite late to eat dinner, but better late than nothing don’t you think so ?” Rui smiled again before she stood up and walked away.  
  
I looked around the room and found a small desk-clock setted on the drawer beside the bed. But when I took a look at it, my eyes widened. “11.00 ?! My parents must be looking for me ! I didn’t tell them I’ll be coming home late today !” I stood up from the bed and started to looking for my stuff. “Touyama-san, mind telling me where my belongings are ? I have to go home now !”  
  
Rui just stood still in front of the door. Her brows formed a frown as she watched me walking around her room frantically.  
  
“Yamada-kun, I don’t think you should get home right now.” She spoke in a commanding voice.  
  
“I’m sorry Touyama-san, but I guess I’ll pass your dinner’s offer. Maybe next time.” I told her as polite as I could, thinking that she perhaps trying to held me to stay for dinner.  
  
“No, I think you misunderstood me Yamada-kun. It’s not dinner which made you need to stay here.” She explained rushly. Seeing me put a confused look, she added, “Didn’t you listen to me Yamada-kun ? I told you that I CANNOT guarantee your safety out of these walls. Means your safety is in danger if you walked passed that door.” She said while pointing at the door.  
  
“Ha ?” I asked, feeling dumbfounded.  
  
Rui just sighed. “I think dinner has to wait a little bit longer.” She then walked closer and pulled me back to the bed. She took a deep breath and I just let the silence she produced lingered. “First of all, I must warn you, that ever since those guys attacked you, your life will be remained in danger.”  
  
“Why ?” I frowned at her serious expression, a chill ran through my spine, gave me the feeling that I won’t like this conversation at all.  
  
“Because, those guys wanted you dead.” Rui answered solemnly.  
  
I widened my eyes in surprise. “What ?” I stared at her disbelievingly. “Why ?”  
  
Rui said nothing for several minutes. She seemed to thought hard of the words she ought to use to explained everything to me.  
  
“Touyama-san ?” I called as her silence started to annoyed me.  
  
She took a deep breath before she finally started her explanation. “Yamada-kun, there were a Jr. in JE about your age who resigned from JE right after your group had been debuted. And not so long after that, he commited a suicide.”  
  
I was taken aback by her sudden news, but before I could ask her any question, she resumed.  
  
“His father, who was quite a famous scientist in our country, before he was found doing an illegal experiment, found his son’s last words which were written by him before he cut his wrist. Apparently, the reason why he did such a thing because he was frustrated of his lack of achievement in JE, and more than that, because he was jealous over your group, of how you bunch of kids, as he noted in his last letter, could been debuted easily, while he hardly received any attention.” Rui sighed deeply before continuing.  
  
“You see, his father was far more frustrated than his son. He’d lost a lot, and then he also lost his son. Whether he wanted it or not, the despair had taken his true self away. And so, that shallow reason of his son’s suicide had blinded him. It had caused him to searched for revenge. Revenge to those who had caused so much pain to his son. He thought JUMP had been the caused of the unfortunate incident with his son, so he came after you. He meant to vanished you all so you’ll suffer the same pain his son’s felt. And by doing that, he also made Johnny suffered the loss of his 10 precious boys, and 10 couples suffered the loss of a son like he did.”  
  
I frowned. Something’s out of ordinary here. “If his son commited suicide not so long after JUMP debuted, then why took it so long for him to finally showed up before us ? And why killing us ? I guess by suing he’ll receive more.”  
  
“I told you that he was blinded. It’s true that by suing you or Johnny will be more effective and rational, but in his mind, irrational things had become rational, so killing you all was his best option. And for your first question, it took him so long because he needed to prepared his way of killing you all. He wanted it all done without anyone noticed about his dirty works on it. The gap of time will eliminated him from any possibilities of the caused of your death since it’d been so long since his son’s death, so people will assumed that he’d already forgave you and had nothing to do with the incidents he’s going to do. And the second reason was because he wanted to kill you in a scientist way, he needed his time to prepared it.” Rui answered quietly.  
  
“Kill us in a scientist way ?” I tilted my head aside, slightly more curious than scared.  
  
“The reason of why he was kicked out from this country’s scientists society was because he did an illegal experiments. A dangerous one.” Rui paused for a while. “He made a drug that can weakened human’s body system to a certain level. It first purposed to helped in curing a cancer by killing the cancerous cells in a more effective way so such side effects caused by also killing the healthy cells inside human’s body. But it turned out the opposite as it meant to be. So instead of killing the bad cells, it kills more healthy cells, which resulted as a faster killer than the cancer itself. But instead of stopping the project, he continues until the government found out about this and he was fired. He had stopped after that, and decided to start a new. But when his son’s died, he’d started to restart the project as a way to kill you slowly, painfully.”  
  
“Won’t it draw the government’s attention if he tried to kill us that way ? I think people will get suspicious on him since he held this project before.” I asked in confusion.  
  
“True. But this drug’s way of attacking human’s system is similar with the way the cancer and some deadly viruses attacked human’s system. So I presumed that he’d planned on making people believe that your deaths were caused by some contagious viruses which why the 10 of you died in such an unfortunate way.” She answered me while looking away.  
  
I said nothing afterwards, trying hard to swallows the information she just gave me. But a second later, something clicked me. “Wait ! If he chased after us, it means that the other JUMP are in danger ! I need to warn them about this !”  
  
“Yamada-kun, relax. Your bandmates will be okay for now. As long as he hadn’t finished with you yet, he won’t make any move with the rest of JUMP. Beside, telling them right now will just created a fuss. We won’t know what he will do under a tight squeeze. He could’ve done something more dangerous than this.” Her voice seemed rather calmer than before.  
  
“Then why do you tell me now ?” I asked again.  
  
“Because first, those guys had got you before. And second, you are his main target, so you’re in a more dangerous position than your bandmates. Therefore, I told you all of this so you’ll understand.” She said, finally looking into my eyes.  
  
There’s something in her eyes which made me squinted mine. I sensed something. I believe she was hiding something from me. “Why me ?” I finally spoke.  
  
“Because you’re the one his son’s mentioned the most in his letter. It seems that he was quite close with you before, and thus jealous over you the most.” She told me ever so quietly.  
  
I was tempted to ask another question, but it seemed that my own body stopped me from doing so. So I waited for her to speak more.  
  
“You better rest up now. Or if you’re hungsy, I can get you some food.” Rui offered me as she stood up.  
  
I shook my head. “I guess I’ll just sleep.”  
  
Rui smiled. “Fine.” She said as she helped me to lay down and covered me with the blanket.  
  
“Touyama-san ?” I called her before she could get away.  
  
“You may call me Rui, but, what is it ?” She smiled and asked me back softly.  
  
I nodded. “Rui-san, how did you get me here if those guys took me somewhere before ?” Somehow, I just couldn’t help but to asked her. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust her, truthfully, I trusted her a lot eventhough I just barely knew her.  
  
Her smile faded as those words came out from my lips. “I somehow managed to fool them and brought you to my place.” Her words seemed hesitant, but also convincing at the same time.  
  
“One more thing,” She stood there waiting. “Why did you decided to help me ? It’s not like we knew each other before.”  
  
I saw doubt in her eyes. “Do you know who tried to kill you ?” She asked back instead.  
  
I merely shook my head. It’s true that I didn’t know who he was, but somehow, looking at Rui like that, gave me an idea of who the person is.  
  
“His name is Touyama Hiroshi. He’s my father. And it was Kite, my younger brother who suicide a couple of years ago.” She told me with an unreadable eyes.  
  
I widened my eyes in surprise. It seemed like today still had something under it’s sleeves to surprise me.  
  
“I just wanted my father to realize that revenge wasn’t what Kite wanted. I just wanted my father to know that what Kite did was pure a mistake of himself and not caused by anyone. I don’t want him to do another mistake which will mislead him in the future.” She stared at me solemnly. “The father I used to know wasn’t like this. And I just wanted him to be like he used to be, even if Kite was no longer with us.”  
  
“I, I’m sorry.” I murmured to her while moving my gaze to my hands. I didn’t know what else to say.  
  
I could hear her sighed. “It’s okay. It’s not like anyone blamed you. I won’t help you if I blamed you, don’t you think so ?”  
  
I looked up just to saw her eyes staring at me tenderly. “I, I’ll do anything to help you in return. I’ll help you to make your father realize.”  
  
Her smile faded once again. “You’ll help me, if you promise me to take a good care of yourself.”  
  
I frowned, again. “Why ?”  
  
Rui just looked away. “You see, when I took you here, I was a bit too late.”  
  
“What do you mean ?” My heart skipped a beat. Her words surely made me nervous.  
  
“My father had finished his project when he told those guys to followed you.” She paused a bit. “When he finally got you, he decided to, tested it on you immediately.”  
  
My world suddenly turned blank around me. It took a lot of time for me to understood what Rui was saying. ‘He decided to tested it on you immediately.’ Did that mean that he drugged me already ? Then will I, will I…  
  
“Will I die ?” I asked her so bluntly. It surprised myself as to heard how calm I said those words.  
  
She flinched a bit when I asked that question, but soon regained her composure and answered me, “I hope not. My father also created the antidote. I stole it from him once, but he found out so he took it back. Fortunately, I managed to learn about the basis of the antidote, as well as the drug itself and am currently working on it. I’ll be able to finished it soon. So for the time being, I need to ask you to take care. We don’t want unnecessary things happened, do we ?” She tried to reassured me.  
  
“I hope so.” I replied nonchalantly.  
  
Rui sighed. “Listen Yamada-kun, you can’t lose hope. I believe I managed to sucked most of the drugs out of you so it won’t take it’s full effects. And you have to believe me in making this antidote either. And more importantly, there’s nothing I can do if you don’t even trust yourself. So don’t give up. We still have a chance. YOU still have a chance.” She smiled toward me.  
  
I smiled back at her. Her words had somehow lifted my hope. “Arigatou gozaimasu, Rui-san. I don’t know what will happen if you weren’t here.”  
  
“It’s okay, you don’t have to thanked me, Yamada-kun. And just Rui is fine for me.” She smiled wider.  
  
“Okay, only if you call me Ryosuke.” I told her playfully.  
  
“Fine then, Ryosuke.” She uttered lightly. “Now, you better rest up. I’ll wake you up later.” She headed towards the door and opened it. “Oyasumi.” She said before she closed the door.  
  
“Oyasumi.” I replied quietly while slowly closed my eyes. Somewhere in my mind, I wished these are just dreams and I would wake up finding out that I’m alright and no one was trying to kill JUMP. Though I could only wish.


	5. Chapter 4 - We Still Have Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italics : Flashback

_-Ryosuke’s POV-  
  
“Please be careful, and make sure you keep on walking on a crowded road. If necessary, go call a cab to drive you home.” Rui reminded me on the same thing she’d been talking about for the past hour.  
  
“I understand. You don’t have to be that anxious.” I tried to assure her.  
  
“I guess.” She took a deep breath. “I’ll call you later. Please be okay until then.” She squeezed my shoulders.  
  
I nodded. “I will.” And with that I left her.  
  
I’d followed Rui’s suggestion on taking a cab to reach home. Rui had called my parents beforehand, so I need not to worried about that. But then, I coulnd’t stop thinking about possibilities of what might happen in the future after today. I kept on thinking without realizing that I’d already arrived in front of my house. I sighed before I walked out the cab and paid the driver before I walked inside the house.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
The day of the concert had come. For some unknown reason I felt weird today. I’d been tired lately, and sometimes I felt a strong headaches when I worked a bit too much or when I thought a lot. I called Rui and she told me that it was one of the symptom when the drug started to work. She sounded worried and I had to made her sure that I’ll be just fine. But deep inside me, I couldn’t deny the fact that I’m scared to die. Scared to leave those whom I love. Scared to how they will reacted if I can’t be survived.  
  
“What would you do if I’m no longer here ?” A stupid question, yeah. But it slipped from my mouth before I could stop myself from asking.  
  
I examined my bandmates’ expression one-by-one, and it was evident that they were surprised by the words I spoke. They tried to asked me what’s wrong, like I could tell them. Really, if I could, I wanted to tell them everything, but I couldn’t let myself to bring them into this trouble. At least not yet. It won’t be wise if I dragged them just so I won’t need to suffer the weight alone. If I did, then I’ll be the most selfish person exist. So instead of telling them, I kept on asking them the same question.  
  
“Me personally, will never forget you even if your existence is gone. I will hold on what little remained from you and forever remember you. We’re not just a simple bandmates, aren’t we ? We’re bestfriends, and on top of that, we’re families. So no matter what happened to you or to the other member, your presence in my heart won’t ease up, because you’re all my families, and families are not supposed to forget each other, aren’t they ?” I could hear Daiki spoke clearly and I immediately looked up to saw his face, totally stunned by his words.  
  
I could also hear Takaki made an approving words and I couldn’t felt happier. I looked around me and found the same answers plastered on my bandmates’ faces. After a long while, I finale smiled from the bottom of my heart.  
  
“Arigatou, minna.” There was nothing else I could say to express how grateful I was. At least one thing gone right, though the luck wouldn’t let me go any further as it stopped giving me a hand soon after the concert ended by some mysterious fatigue. I admitted that I was exhausted, and I was always exhausted after every concerts, but this time it felt different. I just couldn’t control my body as it seemed to gave up and I collapsed to the ground.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
I watched JUMP staring at me as I opened my eyes slowly, aware of the coming headache when I fully regained my consciousness. Tiny little Chinen immediately clung over me and I could feel my hand being squeezed by him. I could hear people around me sighing in relieve and I just looked around dumbfounded.  
  
I asked them what happened to me and where am I, eventhough I knew where. Only hospital would smelled like disinfectant everywhere. Yabu told me that I was fainted and they brought me here. He also told me that they’d called my parents and they’re currently talking with the doctor right now.  
  
I tried to sat up with Daiki’s help when Hikaru asked how am I feeling. It’s rare to find him looked so serious, and concerned. I would surely laugh if the situation was different and I wasn’t lying helplessly on a hospital bed. I told him I was okay, though I really tempted that I wasn’t okay at all since my whole body ached, my throat felt sore, and my head was spinning. But they didn’t need to know that.  
  
Silence bounded us after that, until Ryutaro decided to spoke up. He unexpectedly being the one who asked why did I fainted back then. It surprised me that he’d asked such question, because mostly we had a quarrel with each other, so seeing him so concerned about me had been a quite shocking news.  
  
I was hesitant at first, trying to figured out the best way to answer him without drawing some unnecessary attention. “I don’t know. Maybe I was just too tired. I was feeling a bit dizzy though back then.”  
  
Before anyone could say anything the door opened and my parents walked in followed by a doctor and a nurse. I secretly thanked them to saved me from other suspicious questions. The doctor then started to checked on me after he told everyone to moved aside. He then told me that I could be discharged by tomorrow and I thanked him. But the next thing he asked me surprised me.  
  
“Ryosuke-kun, I heard that you were having severe headaches lately, is that true ?” He asked me suspiciously.  
  
I hesitated for a while before agreeing him, noted him that it wasn’t so severe eventhough it was. Must be my mother who told him earlier. He then told me his diagnosis about my current condition which I paid little attention to. I wasn’s so interested anyway, it’s not like he knew EVERYTHING about me. I knew better about myself. He told me to reduced my activities and I just stared blankly at the blanket. Just after he mentioned it for the second time I realized that he needed an answer. So I nodded vaguely at him just to made him stop ranting.  
  
After the doctor had left, the rest of the JUMP members, led by Yabu, excused themselves and they too, left the room. My parents stayed until night. They actually intended to spent the night there, but I persuaded them to just go home. They finally agreed after I mentioned the whole families’ name, including all of our pets. Really, they looked tired and they should’ve slept at the comfortable bed at home instead of here, waiting for me at the small couch at the corner of the room. With that thought in mind, I let myself drifted into slumber.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************  
  
A creaking sound of the door was what woke me up at the middle of the night at the uncomfortable hospital bed. It was dark and the silence was deafening. The thought of some person walked inside my ward had me freaked out so I shut my eyes tight, afraid of what I might see if I opened them.  
  
“No need to be afraid Ryosuke.” I could hear a girl’s voice spoke in amusement.  
  
I opened my eyes slowly and found a familiar figure stood beside my bed, smiling warmly.  
  
“Rui ?” I asked incredulously while rubbing my eyes slowly.  
  
“I heard you were admitted in here so I decided to pay you a visit.” She said answering my unspoken question.  
  
“In the middle of the night ?” I asked in disbelief.  
  
She shrugged. “I just finished my shift.” Rui must seen the confused look in my face because she continued, “I’m a trainee scientist here in this hospital. So it’s just make sense that I was allowed to visit you at this hour.”  
  
I made a sound of understanding. A pregnant silent fell between us.  
  
“Ryosuke, I finished the antidote already.” Rui finally broke the uncomfortable silence.  
  
I looked at her intently. “You sure ?”  
  
She nodded to me, but she looked uncertain. “But I’m not sure if it would work perfectly or not. As you know, I don’t have the correct formula and only knew the basis. And I don’t have the real drug’s sample either.”  
  
Now I know what had bothered her. “Will it kill me if I try and it didn’t work perfectly ?”  
  
She shook her head. “It won’t, but…”  
  
“Then why don’t you give me that and we’ll see what happen ne~” I smiled at her reassuringly.  
  
She neither agreed nor refused. She just stay still and stared at me with the most intent look I’ve ever seen. She finally sighed after a couple of minutes and pulled a small bottle with a clear liquid inside it from her bag. “I guess it’s fine.” She then handed me the bottle. “Just use one until two drops of this when you started to feel uneasy. Its composition was quite strong but I’m not sure about what kind of side-effects it will took. I hope it would produce none though.” She informed me quietly.  
  
“Arigatou gozaimashita.” I took the bottle gratefully.  
  
“It’s alright.” She replied nonchalantly. “Just make sure you tell me if it took no effects on you after a couple of times. I’ll try another formula and give you another sample soon. And if it made you better, still call me to tell me that it’s working. I still need some perfection though. I’ll give you another supply once in a week.”  
  
“I will. Thanks a lot.” I thanked her once again.  
  
She just smiled. “No, I should’ve apologize to you that I couldn’t do more than this instead of receiving a thanks from you. Really, if only I was fast enough, you won’t need any of these.”  
  
I shook my head in disapproval. “You’ve done a lot to me. More than enough actually. I don’t know what I could do to repay you.”  
  
She smiled again. Her hand moved to caressed my hair softly. “Just, be well. It’s the only thing youo can do to repay me.” I couldn’t helped it but to return the smile. “Now sleep. You need it.” She stroked my hair slowly until I felt sleepy and sleep eventually.  
  
**************************************************************************************************************  
  
It’d been 2 weeks since that incident after the concert happened, and now I found myself making a rift between me and my bandmates. I’ve been staying away from them, refused their offers, and being passive at any conversations. I ignored them yes, but I had a feeling which told me to keep on doing this, and I couldn’t ignored it.  
  
On top of that, I felt worse than before, and although the antidote Rui gave me helped me getting better, it didn’t changed much. This was one of the reasons of why I’d always said NO to them lately. If I’d accepted them, I knew I won’t survive long. I know they were worried about me, but I’d feel more guilty if I stopped this façade right now.  
  
Today Rui had called me to gave me another antidote at the Café we used to met after I finished my practice. She also said that there’s something important she needed to say to me. I wonder what it was about. I suddenly felt dizzy at the thought and soon reach my bag to get the antidote.  
  
And that was when Chinen came to me to asked me to go with him after practice. If I were who I used to be, I wouldn’t have refused his offer, especially since I couldn’t resist his big teary puppy eyes, but this was different so I pushed the will of saying ‘yes’ far away and said ‘no’ instead. After that, I left to the bathroom with the antidote in hands. Still, I could see Chinen’s disappointed expression towards my answer and couldn’t help but feeling guilty.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
I rushed inside a Café I and Rui supposed to meet. Practice was held longer and I was quite late. Rui didn’t mind though. She just smiled at me and asked me what I wanted to order politely. But I just shook my head and ordered her to get into the point quickly.  
  
She just sighed before she started. “Look Ryosuke, it’s getting more dangerous now. I’m afraid I can’t cover you from my father and his men any longer.”  
  
“Does that mean…?”  
  
“Yes, I think this is the time for you to make up your mind whether you’ll take my offer or not.” Rui stared at me determinedly.  
  
I looked down. “Can’t you, can’t you buy me more time ?”  
  
“I guess, but I can only promise you a week at most.” She told him doubtfully. “And I can’t guarantee about your friends either if you took longer.”  
  
I sighed deeply. Why it had to be like this ? “Should I really do that ? Should I really hide there ?”  
  
Rui nodded. “With that, my father will never find you, thus you can buy more times for your friends. In fact, it would be better if you started to live together. The risk will be less if you stick together. But still, I forbid you to walk around freely as they could find you and widen the risk.”  
  
“But it will be too hard to make us live together without a reasonable reason.” I tried to make a reason.  
  
“It’d be better if they know the truth then. They’ll figure it out sooner or later anyway.” She bent down closer.  
  
“You told me it’s not wise to tell them.” I insisted.  
  
“Then. The situation had changed now.” She even more insisted.  
  
I gave her no respond. I just sat there in silence for quite a while before I squaked, “I still need some times. It’s not easy to leave people I know without saying a goodbye.”  
  
“I told you I could make you a reason.” Rui stated matter-of-factly. “But it’s your decision. You still have a week to think about it. But I strongly advised you to hide. By the end of the week, if you still gave me no answer, I’ll take that as a no and I won’t ever disturb you anymore. But if you ever need my help, you know where to go.” She started to look for something inside her bag. “As for now, this is what I can give to help you.” She handed me another bottle of antidote.  
  
“I appreciate you a lot, Rui.” I told her sincerely while pocketed the small bottle she gave me. “I won’t even be here without you.”  
  
“Don’t say that. Now, I suggest you to stay inside your home during this week while you make your decision. It would be best if you keep yourself from dangers outside your residence. I’ll call you if anything happened. And, you can call me anytime if you need anything. As for now, I suppose I’ll take my leave. My shift will be starting soon.” She stood up slowly from her seat. “Take care, Ryosuke.” She bid me goodbye and left me there all alone.  
  
I leaned onto the chair to cleared my mind a bit. After sometime, I also stood up and left the Café as well. I walked around the town, not even realizing where my feet brought me. And before I could figure it out, I found myself staring at the house Rui had suggested me to stay for my hiding. She told me that this was her old house before she moved closer to the hospital. She never sold it for some reason she kept to herself. She told him that her house will be the last place her father will try to search him to, thus it would be the best place for him to hide.  
  
I sighed as I took one last glance toward the house before I turned around and walked home. I should make up my mind and I wanted to be alone. No, I needed to be alone. And that’s why I locked myself inside my room soon after I got home. Thank God Kuu lost the spare key of my room just couple of weeks ago so I won’t have my parents barged in while I’m thinking. And I knew my parents won’t do so much as to break my door to made me walk outside my room. So I spent the rest of the week inside my room, thinking. I didn’t care about the world going on around me, all I care was just, the decision I should make.  
  
It’s true that my stomach hurt a lot due to the fact that I haven’t eaten for days, but when I reached for the food my mother gave me, I felt nauseous and ended up putting it back down. I didn’t even know why I’d survived without foods for days but I couldn’t put my head in that thought. All I knew was that I managed to lived with only some fluids I kept in my room and the antidote from that small white bottle. I didn’t even aware when I told my parents not to told anyone about this. I just wanted this to stop.  
  
-End of Ryosuke’s POV-_  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************************  
  
“And then, you barged in my room just now, and Rui called me right after that. She literally ordered me to tell you the whole story since the situation had grew worse than before.” Ryosuke sigh in relieve of finally being able to tell them the truth. A part of him always wanted them to know even if another part of him wanted to keep this as a secret.“ And now with the whole JUMP knew, life could be more life-threatenable.” He look outside the windows longingly.  
  
Yabu swallow hard as he finally return from his shock. “What will you do then ?” He asks doubtfully.  
  
Ryosuke turn his gaze at the older boy. “I’ve made my decision.” He said determinedly. “I realized that I had no other option but to follow her suggestion.”  
  
“You mean, you’ll leave ?” Yuto ask disbelievingly.  
  
“If that’s how you put it, then yeah, I’ll leave.” Ryosuke nod slightly.  
  
“But, what about us ? What about your family ? What about your school, and job ?” Daiki ask question after question.  
  
Ryosuke sigh deeply. “If those are all needed to get a better result, then I guess I need to sacrifice them for a while.” He frowns a bit. “As for you, it’s not my place to make a decision, it’s your own choices.”  
  
No one dare to make a sound afterwards.  
  
“But I suggest you meet Rui before.” Ryosuke finally break the silence. “I wish she could explain better to you.”  
  
“But, everything’s so sudden. We don’t even know what to prepare.” Chinen squeak while shifting uncomfortably.  
  
Ryosuke smile reassuringly at him. “That’s why I told you to meet Rui first.” But then, no one seem certain about that. “Now don’t make that face. It’s not like this is the end of the world. We won’t lose to this crazy man, will we ?”  
  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Hikaru said, being the first one to regain his composure between the 9 JUMP.  
  
Ryosuke give him a nod.  
  
 _‘It’s true that I wished JUMP was never debuted when I figured this whole affair out, but it didn’t mean that I hate being a part of JUMP. I think what we’ve been through had created a bond between us and I believe in that bond. JUMP had been my second family, and I feel grateful that I could be a part of this family. Really. I won’t trade this mutual feeling with anything in this world. Not even with my own life.’_  
  
“We still have hope, and no matter what will happen, I’ll always linger on that string of hope.”


	6. Chapter 5 - To Explain Why

“Is this the Rui girl you’ve talked about ?” Takaki whisper to Ryosuke’s ears as his eyes glued to a girl wearing a knitted white turtleneck under her long light brown coat which hanging past her mini-skirt. Her black quilt boots looks perfect in her slim fair legs.  
  
“Yeah.” Ryosuke said simply, oblivious to the excited expression of the older teen beside him.  
  
Apparently, soon after Ryosuke finished his story, the whole JUMP had demanded to meet this Rui girl immediately at the nearest cafe from Ryosuke’s house. Realizing that they had just dragged the poor boy without letting him grab the foods his mother made him, they forced Ryosuke to eat as much food as he can from that café. At the end, Ryosuke could do nothing but to comply. He knew it that they won’t budge a bit even if he protested. It was when he finished his second milkshake as Rui come inside the café and immediately caught a lot of attention from the ever so cool Takaki Yuya.  
  
“She looks gorgeous.” Takaki stated happily. “Hot if I should say.” He adds in a barely audible voice, but loud enough for Ryosuke to hear.  
  
Ryosuke had to hold the urge of rolling his eyes. Really, this certain teen could be such a pain sometimes. “I know she looks young and pretty, but let me tell you, she’s actually 3 years older than Yabu-kun, means also 3 years older than you. And she never mentioned me that she’s after a younger boys before.”  
  
Takaki widen his eyes in surprise. “What ?! But it’s impossible ! She doesn’t seem any older than penguin-chan !” He exclaims quietly. “Ittai !” He suddenly rubs the back of his head after he received a stinging pain produced by a hand.  
  
“I heard that Bakaki.” Daiki calmly utter as he returns to drink his milkshake.  
  
“Mou, Dai-chan being a meanie~” Takaki pout childishly.  
  
Ryosuke just sigh as he shakes his head in amusement. A second ago Takaki had acted coolly after he saw Rui walked inside the Café, and a second later, he acted like a 5-years-old boy who sulked to his parents for being scolded.  
  
“Have you all waited long ?” Rui’s voice cut Ryosuke’s thought.  
  
Yabu immediately stand up and bow slightly. “Ah, iie. We’ve just arrived anyway.”  
  
“Gomen if I was late, The lab kept me a little longer today.” Rui apologize politely.  
  
“It’s okay Touyama-san.” Inoo also stand, following Yabu’s suit. “Have a sit please.” He offers gently.  
  
“Ah, arigatou.” Rui thanked him as she take the only empty seat between Yabu and Keito. “So, I suppose Ryosuke had told you a whole bunch of everything, right ?” She straightly step into the main topic, receiving some nods from the 9 JUMP members. “I suppose you understood the whole situation by now then ?” She stares at each one of JUMP intently, also receiving nods. “Now I guess…”  
  
“I’m sorry if I’m being rude Touyama-san, but I have a question to ask you first.” Daiki cut her off with a fierce look in his eyes, make most of them stunned. Had it become a habit for Daiki to interrupt people’s talk ?  
  
But Rui just smile. “It’s okay Arioka-kun, and Rui will be just fine with me.”  
  
“Okay then, Rui-san.” Daiki paused a bit. “I just, I just wanted to know, when Ryosuke said that he need to hide, was it really necessary ? I mean, I just thought that there was another reason of why he need to stay away other than to hide from your father.”  
  
It’s obvious that everyone seemed to taken aback by Daiki’s sudden exclamation, especially Ryosuke himself. First, Daiki spoke his given name instead of his nickname, means that he’s serious with that. Second, he wonders how the older boy could sense such a thing when he just barely knew it for a couple of hours.  
  
“I understand why you ask that.” Rui finally reply calmly. “Indeed there’s another reason of why Ryosuke need to hide. But I’m afraid that I can’t tell you that other reason. At least not now. In fact, I believe you’ll find it out yourself soon.”  
  
“Has it something to do with his condition ?” Yabu ask her in worried.  
  
Rui just give them a slight nod.  
  
Chinen start to clench Yuto’s shirt tight. “Will Yama-chan be alright ?”  
  
“He will, for now.” Rui make a solemn face.  
  
Keito’s face tightened. “I thought the antidote you made helped the drug’s effects eased up. So why did you thought he won’t be alright later ?” He asks carefully.  
  
“I didn’t said that…”  
  
“You implied that.” Inoo cut her sentence, make the girl stunned.  
  
“So why did you think so ?” Yuto repeat Keito’s question.  
  
“I…” It seems hard for Rui to find the correct words.  
  
Ryosuke purse his lips together as he watched them conversed. “You talked about me like I’m not here. It’s annoying you know.”  
  
The other occupants in the table immediately turn to face the said boy after the words being said. A few seconds later, Rui spill out a giggles.  
  
“What ?” Ryosuke give her a challenging eyes.  
  
“Nothing.” Rui hold back her remaining giggles. “It’s just, I never seen you like this. Act childishly, and just be you.”  
  
The said boy swallow back his counter words as he couldn’t help a blush forming in his well-paded cheeks. “You’ve known me not for so long.” He reasoned out while bending down his head to hide his blush.  
  
“No, I haven’t.” Rui agreed. “But I can tell you how lucky you are to have these people as your friends.”  
  
Ryosuke look up and stare at her eyes questioningly.  
  
“They must be a really good friends to make you return to how you used to be. Because ever since I brought that unfortunate news to you, all I can see in you was pain and sorrow.” Rui said softly.  
  
Ryosuke hang his head down low once again while muttering a quiet ‘yeah’ to his surroundings. The other JUMP members make a relieved smile.  
  
“I don’t know your cheeks could flush like that eventhough we didn’t have a concert today, Yama-chan !” Hikaru start to tease the younger boy.  
  
“Urusai !” Ryosuke counter annoyedly, while the rest of JUMP members laughing at his expression and Yabu and Keito just smirking.  
  
Rui smile as she watched JUMP start to tease Ryosuke. She never saw him like this ever since he knew about his father and what might happened to him in the future. She never saw him so content before today. And she’s grateful that he could bring back those smiles of him he left behind.  
  
“So I guess you’ve made up your mind ?” Rui try to bring back the dark topic as light as she could.  
  
She could feel the boys tensed up, but nonetheless, Ryosuke answer her. “I decided that I’ll go with your plan. But,” He glances towards his bandmates. “I’m not sure about the others.”  
  
Daiki pat Ryosuke’s shoulder before he speak, “I’ll come. I guess I’ve heard enough to say yes.”  
  
On the other hand, Yabu is busy examining the rest of the member’s facial expression and form a smile. “We’ll come too. I believe the others agree with this, ne ?”  
  
Some of them just nods, the others just make a sheepish smile. But it was all lead them to an agreement.  
  
Rui smile back. “Good. I expect you to be ready by tomorrow morning. All you have to do is to reach my old house.” Rui take her journal and write something on it before she rips it and handed the piece of paper to Yabu who sat next to her. “That’s the address. I recommend you to go there in a small group of 2 or 3 person. If you go there all at once, it’ll take too much attention. But if you go alone, it’ll be too risky. I’ll be waiting until noon.”  
  
“Thanks Rui-san. I don’t know what will happen to us if you’re not here.” Yabu thank her tenderly.  
  
“I remember hearing that before.” Rui smile as she looks at Ryosuke knowingly. “And it’s okay, really. Now, I guess I’d better go. I still have something to work on.”  
  
“Ah, thank you so much for today Rui-san.” Yabu exclaim.  
  
“You don’t have to say that twice Yabu-kun.” She stand up from her seat, followed by Yabu. “If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me. I’ve wrote my number along in the paper I gave you just now. I’ll be more than willing to help you.” She inform the boys as she starts to leave. “I’ll see you around.”  
  
“Now, we need to talk about how we will heading toward Rui-san’s house.” Yabu turn his attention to the remaining boys.  
  
“What about drawing straws ?” Ryutaro suggested.  
  
“I know ! Let’s draw straws !” Chinen exclaim excitedly.  
  
“Chi,” Ryutaro roll his eyes. “I just said that. You shouldn’t exclaim ‘I know !’ like it was your idea.”  
  
“Eh ? It was Ryu-chan’s idea already ?” Chinen pout childishly. “Then what about we’re doing Jan Ken Pon ?”  
  
Yabu shake his head in amusement. “Chi, it’s not something that we can decide with drawing straws or Jan Ken Pon. We need to make the proper pairing for this.”  
  
“Nani ?” Chinen purse his lips together. “Whatever. But I want to go with Yama-chan !”  
  
Yabu sigh. It can’t be helped. When the squirrel wanted something, he’ll do anything to get it. So it’ll be useless if he try to argue. “Alright then. I’ll come with you 2.”  
  
“Doushite ? I guess we’ll be going in pairs.” Ryosuke frown.  
  
“Because we don’t know what will happen and the 2 of you need someone to watch over you.” Yabu explain matter-of-factly. Seeing the frown in Ryosuke’s forehead deapen, he adds, “Just in case you both ended up in an ice-cream parlour instead of in our real destination.”  
  
“Mou~ Yabu-kun~” Chinen pout again.  
  
Yabu can see the frown disappear from the younger boy’s face and replaced by a small laughter. “Now, I’ll pick you from your house at 8 Chi, and I’ll come 30 minutes later at yours, Yama-chan.”  
  
“You drive ?” Ryosuke stare at him in disbelief.  
  
“Of course I drive ! I just got my ride a couple of days ago. Too bad you weren’t there to see my new car.” Yabu sound proud of himself.  
  
“Wow ! I don’t know you can ever get your license !” Ryosuke widen his eyes in amuse.  
  
“Trust me Yama-chan, neither do I.” Hikaru act serious and it made the oldest member of JUMP annoyed.  
  
“Don’t speak like I was such a bad driver. You don’t even know how good I am at driving.” Yabu clear his throat. “Now, who will go with who ?”  
  
“I’ll go with Dai-chan !” Takaki raise his hand high.  
  
“Are you okay with that Dai-chan ?” Inoo look at him with a sympathethic look.  
  
Daiki just can sigh. There’s no way he could said no to Takaki anyway.  
  
“I guess Keito should come with you too. Then Yuto can go with Inoo-chan and Ryutaro can go with Hikaru.” Yabu put his hand under his chin while he said that.  
  
“I’d rather go with Hikaru-kun and Ryutaro actually.” Keito said hopefully.  
  
Yabu exchange his gaze from between Daiki / Takaki pair and Hikaru / Ryutaro pair and realize it would be better for Keito to go with the latter pair instead. So he nods toward the English boy who sigh in relieve in return.  
  
“Well, I guess we should leave now.” The oldest member of JUMP check his watch to find it’s quite late already.  
  
“Yeah, we still need to pack our stuffs.” Takaki stifle a yawn as he said so.  
  
“And I’m hungry. I wonder what my mom made for dinner.” Chinen already drooling of a thought of foods.  
  
“And we need rest too.” Inoo add up. “I felt so tired today.”  
  
“Ikkou zo !” Exclaim Yuto as he stands up, followed suit by the other members. But they stopped when they realized Ryosuke stay still in his seat with his head hung low.  
  
“Yama-chan ? What’s wrong ?” Daiki ask concernedly. “Yama-chan ?” He calls once again as the younger teen didn’t give him a respond. He starts to shake Ryosuke’s body but startled when he feels his body shift and Ryosuke’s weigh fell on his side. A second later, he forms a smile after he heard a small snores from the seemingly sleeping boy.  
  
“He must be feeling very tired, getting asleep like that.” Keito speak up.  
  
“Yeah.” Agreed Yuto. “After all, he’d been locked himself up for a week until this afternoon and dragged here before he could get any proper rest.”  
  
“I’ll carry him home. You could just head home.” Yabu offer. But when he’s about to pick the sleeping boy, he could hear his bandmates scowling.  
  
“I guess we wanted to bring him home together Yabucchi.” Hikaru smirk.  
  
Yabu smirk back at him. “Then what do we wait ?” He said quietly. After he made sure that Ryosuke is safe on his back, he started to walk out the Café with the other boys around him and Ryosuke.


	7. Chapter 6 - Rush Hour

“What did you say to your parents ?”  
  
“Hmm…”  
  
“Come on Dai-chan~ Tell me !”  
  
“I simply sneak out from house actually. I don’t know what I should tell them anyway.”  
  
“Ehh~ I don’t know that you’re that kinf of son~”  
  
“Shut up Bakaki ! What about yourself ?”  
  
“Saa, I told my parents that I’ll be staying at your house.”  
  
“Duh ! Do you realize that they’ll found out soon after they call my house ?”  
  
“Well, I didn’t think that far yet.”  
  
“…”  
  
“What ?”  
  
“You are indeed a Bakaki.”  
  
“Eh ? Dai-chan is a meanie~ You called me Bakaki twice in the last 5 min !”  
  
“And you blame me for that ?”  
  
“Why ? Of course I do !”  
  
“Well, it’s not my fault that you’re overly childish at times.”  
  
“Like you don’t.”  
  
“Did you say something ?”  
  
“Dai-chan surely is childish too at times.”  
  
“Yeah ? When did I act childishly ?”  
  
“Like when you started become picky with your foods. Or when you yelled out childishly. Or when you fought over a single stick of Pocky. Or when you…”  
  
“Okay. I got it. Now just shut up.”  
  
“You lost Dai-chan.”  
  
“I don’t !”  
  
“You do.”  
  
“I don’t !”  
  
“You do.”  
  
“I don- wait, why did I even fought with you ?”  
  
“Well, because you’re childish.”  
  
“Did I told you to shut up ?”  
  
“Hmm.”  
  
“You’re getting into my nerves Bakaki.”  
  
“Whatever. We’re arrived already anyway.”  
  
“Eh ?”  
  
“Let’s just come in.”  
  
And so, the 2 of them enter Rui’s old house without any further words.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
“I don’t know. My parents seemed to didn’t believe me so much. But for a while, I guess that reason will buy me some times.”  
  
“You’re lucky, Hikaru-kun. Your parents at least believe you a bit when you told them that JUMP will have an outing together for a while. I had to quarrel with my parents before they finally said yes.”  
  
“What happened ?”  
  
“Well, my parents just won’t let me go for an outing. Just after I promised them that I’ll take over Shintaro’s chores for the whole month, they stopped their arguments.”  
  
“Yeah ?”  
  
“Un. But, it’s not like I’ll be going home anytime near. So it’s a problem to think about far far later.”  
  
“You’re such a brat Ryutaro.”  
  
“I am.”  
  
“What about you Keito ? Any war happening at home before you left ?”  
  
“Nah, it was quite smooth actually. My parents thought that I’m old enough to take my own decision. They said that I can see what’s good and what’s not for me. They seem to know something, but I don’t think they know about this whole thing. Maybe just parents’ instinct.”  
  
“Wah, your parents are so cool Keito. My parents won’t even acknowledged me as a Junior High Student. They always thought me as a little kid.”  
  
“That’s because you always fought with your brother like an elementary student.”  
  
“I suppose. But I couldn’t help it. Shintaro always bugged me around.”  
  
“Or you just didn’t want to lose to him.”  
  
“Shut up Keito ! Since when you’re siding with Hikaru-kun anyway ?”  
  
“I’m not. I’m just trying to tell you to learn to share with your brother. And you should hear older person’s advise.”  
  
“Now you sounded like an old man.”  
  
“What ? I’m just saying what I thought is right.”  
  
“But you…”  
  
“Now quiet, will you ? We’ve arrived, so no more quarreling like 5 years old boys.”  
  
“Eh ? We’re here already ?”  
  
“Yup.”  
  
“It’s fast.”  
  
“Yeah. Anyway, let’s come in.”  
  
And so, the 3 of them enter Rui’s old house without any further words.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
“…”  
  
“…”  
  
“You know, it’s weird to see a loud boy like you so quiet like this.”  
  
“Hmm. You’re not the quiet person either Inoo-chan.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“…”  
  
“…”  
  
“You know, this whole thing, I still can’t believe it yet.”  
  
“Me too. I mean, it’s just like a dream. A nightmare to be precise. One time everything’s alright, and the next moment you blink, everything suddenly change right in front of you.”  
  
“But you don’t know why it changed and how. You just play inside it, without being able to choose your way.”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“It’s still felt so surreal to me.”  
  
“How everything turned out like this without us realized it.”  
  
“Not even the tiny bit of it.”  
  
“This kind of thing, it happened to someone else, and not to us.”  
  
“But yet, it did.”  
  
“The reason why I hate the cruel fate.”  
  
“Un.”  
  
“…”  
  
“I’m afraid.”  
  
“Me too.”  
  
“I’m afraid of what might be the outcome of this matter. I’m afraid of what might happen to us in the future.”  
  
“I understand your worries. I feel the same.”  
  
“But on top of thos, I’m afraid about Yama-chan.”  
  
“…”  
  
“Will he be alright ? Will he be saved ? Will he stayed with us until the end ? I’m afraid of the worst of will happen to him. What if he, what if he couldn’t survive ?”  
  
“…”  
  
“What if he died, Inoo-chan ?”  
  
“He won’t.”  
  
“How could you- ?”  
  
“if there’s something I believe in our destiny ahead us, is that Yama-chan will survive.”  
  
“…”  
  
“He’s a strong boy. We all know that. He won’t give up easily.”  
  
“But-“  
  
“If you don’t trust in him that he’ll make this through, what can he trust ? If his own friends doubted him, what could make him believe that he can make it ?”  
  
“I…”  
  
“Yuto, future is something that we can’t predict no matter what. But it’s something where we could put our faith on it, that someday, a new light will shine, even if we only held a tiny light in the present. Our little hope.”  
  
“…”  
  
“Let’s believe in our future. By lingering to the hope that Yama-chan will be just fine, let’s make it our tiny light to achieve a better future filled with bright light. A future where all of us will be just fine.”  
  
“I guess you’re right. I was being overly pessimistic.”  
  
“Aa.”  
  
“Ne, Inoo-chan.”  
  
“What is it ?”  
  
“Arigatou.”  
  
“Don’t mind that. Now, shall we enter the house ? The beginning of our new adventure ?”  
  
“Un.”  
  
And so, the 2 of them enter Rui’s old house without any further words.  
  
******************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Gomen minna. I was overslept. And my mother didn’t bother to wake me up either.”  
  
“Daijoubu, Yama-chan. I overslept too this morning.”  
  
“Really, you 2 won’t survive by your own. Thank God that I decided to be your watcher today.”  
  
“Mou, Yabu-kun~ We’re not little kids anymore~”  
  
“But you act like ones.”  
  
“We’re not !”  
  
“You do.”  
  
“We’re not !”  
  
“You do !”  
  
“Now, now, Yabu-kun~ It’s you who sounded like a child.”  
  
“Well, you 2 made me !”  
  
“Eh ? I didn’t even said anything until just now !”  
  
“Somehow your appearance only made me wanted to act as a child.”  
  
“It’s not even make sense Yabu-kun !”  
  
“Shut up Yama-chan !”  
  
“Don’t mind Yabu-kun’s words Yama-chan~ He just too embarrassed to admit that you were right.”  
  
“Sou da yo~”  
  
“Un ! So cheer up !”  
  
“Urusai you twerps !”  
  
“What ? Twerps ?!”  
  
“Yabu-kun, don’t you think you’re a bit too harsh ?”  
  
“Yeah ? You started it.”  
  
“Whatever. I don’t want to involve into a childish fight.”  
  
“What ?”  
  
“I’m sleepy~ It’s okay if I sleep here ne ?”  
  
“I’m sleepy too~ Let’s sleep together Yama-chan !”  
  
“Un !”  
  
“These kids. Really~”  
  
“…”  
  
“…”  
  
“Hey ! Don’t sleep already !”  
  
“Hmm ? Doushite Yabu-kun ?”  
  
“We’re arrived already. You can go sleep inside.”  
  
“Oh, we’re here already ?”  
  
“It was quite fast ne, Chi ?”  
  
“Un. I didn’t realized it.”  
  
“Saa, why don’t we get out of the car and walk inside the house so you can sleep ?”  
  
“UN !”  
  
And so, the 3 of them enter Rui’s old house without any further words.


	8. Chapter 7 - Some Little Explanation

‘Knock ! Knock !’  
  
“I’ll get it.” Ryutaro volunteer as he gets up from in front of the table where he just put his Nintendo Wii on it.  
  
Just when he opens the door, his eyes widen in surprise. “Rui-san ?”  
  
“Ah, Morimoto-kun ! Konnichiwa.” Greeted the girl kindly.  
  
“Uhm. Why did you knock ?” Asked the youngest JUMP curiously.  
  
“Why do you ask ?” Rui ask him back.  
  
“I mean, this was your house. You can just come in yourself.” Explained Ryutaro.  
  
“I could.” Agreed Rui. “But it would be inappropriate, don’t you think ?”  
  
“Maybe ? Anyway, please come in.” The boy invited the older girl inside.  
  
“Ah, sumimasen.” Rui follow the boy inside. “Where’re the other ?”  
  
“They’re cleaning up the house, with the exception of Yama-chan and Chi.” Ryutaro answer nonchalantly as the 2 of them seated themselves on the couch.  
  
“What’s wrong with the 2 ?” Rui frown at this.  
  
“Well, they said that they got sick because of Yabu-kun’s awful driving skill, so they’re sleeping right now.” Replied the boy calmly. “Though I say they just being a child and looking for a way to get away with the ‘cleaning-the-house’ mission.”  
  
Rui laugh crisply at the boy’s declaration.  
  
“What ?” Ryutaro spat harshly.  
  
“Nandemonai. Could you just please call the others and pause for a while from your ‘cleaning-the-house’ mission ?” Rui giving him her best smile, make the boy blush slightly.  
  
“O-okay.” Stuttered Ryutaro.  
  
“But just let Ryosuke and Chinen-kun sleep.” Rui inform the boy before he walks away.  
  
Ryutaro chuckle loudly.  
  
“Pardon me ?” Rui tilt her head, wondering what she said wrong.  
  
“It’s nothing. It’s just, you just called Chi ‘Chinen-kun’. He’ll cry if he ever hear that.” Ryutaro shrug his shoulders.  
  
“Hmm ? Why ?” Rui become more curious.  
  
“Well, he’ll whine if somebody ever call him with –kun. Especially if it came from older people. He thought that people insulted him by calling him with such honorific.” Ryutaro try to clear up things.  
  
“Ha ?” Rui’s frown deepen.  
  
“He thought that those people calling him old. The word ‘Chinen’ and ‘-kun’ just never meant to be put in the same sentence.” Ryutaro make a small smile.  
  
“Ah !” Rui laugh again at this. “Then I’ll just call him Chinen-chan later on.”  
  
Ryutaro just shrug. “I’ll call the others then.” And with that, he left the living room.  
  
A few min later, he returns with the rest of the JUMP, sans Ryosuke and Chinen, to where Rui stay.  
  
“Rui-san !” Yabu call her up. “What brought you here today ?”  
  
“Ah, Yabu-kun. Well, first of all, I’m here to apologize because I didn’t wait up for you as I promised. I had an emergency back then. So I rushed here right after I finished what I need to finish.” Rui bow politely.  
  
“You don’t have to actually. It’s okay to us.” Yabu scratch the back of his head.  
  
“Ah, if you think so.” Rui smile toward them all. “Now, shall we sit down and talk about the more important thing ?”  
  
The 8 JUMP suddenly turn into a serious mode. Rui, seeing the thick atmosphere decided to break the awkwardness. “It’s okay to wait a little longer before you resume your ‘cleaning-the-house’ mission ne ?”  
  
The chuckles and the small laughters can be heard from the boys. Rui smile at this.  
  
“So, what is it that you wanted to tell us ?” Inoo finally ask.  
  
“Hmm, this is regarding to Ryosuke’s condition.” Rui started. Feeling the tense return to the boys, she quickly added. “This will not occurring in the near future, don’t worry. It’s just something that I want you to aware of.”  
  
The boys can only nod reluctantly.  
  
“Well, you see, there will be some phase caused by the drug happened to him. The first phase, is his current condition now. It’s not so bad, but you must be aware of a severe headaches, listlessness, and exhaustion. These won’t occur oftenly, but it’s not something to put aside of.” Rui paused here.  
  
“After this phase, what will happen ?” Yuto dare himself to ask.  
  
Rui make a slight frown. “The next phase won’t occur until the first 2 weeks. By the antidote I gave him, the next effect will be reduced until twice the time or even more, considering to how he responded with the medicine. But yes, it will occur somehow. The second phase will consist the same symptons like the first phase, just in a more frequent times. Usually, this phase started with the sudden arrival of a high fever. Don’t panick if this is happening. This will pass after a couple of days eventually. Just do the regular treatment for normal fever. Tell me immediately if this is coming.”  
  
“We will.” Keito say determinedly.  
  
“There’s a way to extended the second phase’s occurance by keeping him as warm as possible. Prevent him from going out at nights, and make sure he wears jackets if he going out at days. In this season, even a person without a special condition will get sick easily. Oh, and make sure that he always sleep with thick blanket. This way, we can prolong the worse phase of the drug’s effect to occurring early.” Lectured the only female there.  
  
“Wakatta.” Daiki nod his head in understanding.  
  
“So, what will happen after the second phase ?” Takaki ask bluntly.  
  
Rui’s face grimace at this. “I hope this phase will never come. This is the last phase before the worst of the worst of what might happen to him. In this phase, the symptons from before will occur in a severer way and an even more frequent than before. Included times when he’ll be feeling really sick. High fevers, unbearable headaches, severe vomiting, and such things is to be expected. If, this phase has to be gone through, I suppose him to been bedridden the whole time. Except for the need of going to the bathroom, he can’t move from his bed at all. I’d prefer him staying at the hospital actually. With a special treatment either.”  
  
The expression plastered on the boys’ faces are obvious. A worried and tensed faces filled the room in a second.  
  
Rui put a sad face at this. Life’s so unfair. None of them deserved any of this, especially Ryosuke. But again, what’s fair in a person’s life ?  
  
“But there’s still so long time to go before that has to occur. I’ll try my best so before it came, I’ll be able to make the completed antidote for him.” Rui try to lighten up the mood.  
  
But then, the boys stay silent. After a couple of min, Yabu finally sigh and break the awkward silence. “We owe you a lot Rui-san. Really, if you’re not around, we, we just won’t know what to do.”  
  
Rui give him a smile. “It’s okay. I’m a part of this too anyway.”  
  
Yabu reply her smile sheepishly.  
  
“Anyway, I’ve kept some foods in the kitchen if you haven’t notice. I also put some money inside the small box in the library just in case. You just call me if you need anything. I’ll try to come weekly to deliver Ryosuke’s medicines as well as some more money for you.” Rui inform them all.  
  
“Really, Rui-san. You don’t have to do that much. We can manage by our own.” Yabu was a bit startled hearing this from the girl.  
  
“I know you can. It’s just, somehow I feel responsible.” Rui shrug her shoulders.  
  
“Arigatou gozaimashita, Rui-san.” Yabu can only thanked her.  
  
“It’s nothing. Oh, I also put a car and a motorcycle inside the garage just in case. But I saw another car parked outside, so I guess I don’t have to send another car here.” Rui tell them calmly.  
  
“You mean we can get out ?” Hikaru ask in disbelief.  
  
“Yeah. Why can’t you ? The only one needed to hide is Ryosuke, but it also doesn’t mean that he couldn’t get out of the house. You’re not prisoners, so you’re free to walk out. You can return to your house once in a while too if you want to, with the exception of Ryosuke of course. It will be better that he’s not staying at his own house for the time being, not like he couldn’t meet them at all anyway. Just make sure that he’s not alone is fine. And just make sure that you’re not that visible out there. But I guess it’s something you did everyday since you’re a public figures.” Rui smile at them.  
  
“What about school ?” Keito ask out of the blue.  
  
“I guess school is okay. It’s not like my father and my men will attack you at your school.” Rui answered nonchalantly.  
  
“But what if they found out that we lived here together ?” Inoo ask her again.  
  
“They won’t. It’s my job to make sure of it.” Rui said certainly. Her face grimaced by a bit.  
  
Ryutaro is about to comment, but Yabu stop him.  
  
“Anyway,” She suddenly exclaimed. “For the time being, I want you to take care of Ryosuke. But don’t neglect yourselves either.” She smiles softly.  
  
“We will. Thank you so much Rui-san.” Yabu thanked her again and bow.  
  
“It’s my job.” Rui bows back. “I’ll try to stop my father as fast as possible to free you from this matter.”  
  
“Don’t rush yourself in our account.” Inoo tell the only female politely.  
  
Rui just smile at this. But then, her smile falter. “I have one more favor for you to do.”  
  
“What is it ? Please don’t hesitate to tell us.” Keito speak rather quietly.  
  
“Actually, while you’re staying here, if you don’t mind, I want you to find another reason of my brother’s death.” Rui tell them sadly.  
  
The 8 JUMP widen their eyes in surprise.  
  
“Didn’t your brother died because of a suicide ? Which caused by his jealousy ?” Ryutaro said bluntly.  
  
“For one reason, it was. But somehow, I have a feeling that it was also something else. My brother was a strong boy. He wouldn’t gave up so easily, much more in such a pathetic way like suicide. There was something behind it, and I’m sure of it.” Rui stare at the ceiling with a longing look.  
  
The boys looked hesitant at first. Does Rui even realized what she was saying ? It was just absurd !  
  
“I think this is the least that we can do to pay you back.” Daiki finally decided.  
  
Rui look down at him and smile. “Arigatou.”


	9. Chapter 8 - Frightening Nightmare?

They’ve been cleaning the whole house for the whole day by now. Ryosuke and Chinen had just joined them after 5 o’clock, by that time, they’ve finished most of the cleaning and rearranging already.  
  
“I’ll just cook you some dinner then !” Ryosuke exclaimed happily, excited to finally find something to do for them all.  
  
“Yey ! Food ! I want to help Yama-chan~” Chi clutch his hands around Ryosuke’s left hand.  
  
“Well, you HAVE to help me prepare the food. We’re going to feed 10 people and I can’t possibly do it by my own.” Ryosuke smile while patting the younger boy’s head.  
  
“Hai~ Let’s cook together yo~” Chinen beam happily.  
  
Then, the 2 of them walk toward the kitchen, giggling all the way.  
  
“Maybe I should help too.” Yabu mutter quietly, receiving some weird looks from the rest of them. “What ?” He asks backing away a bit.  
  
“You cook ?” Inoo ask disbelievingly.  
  
“Is that so weird ?” Yabu ask back, feeling offended.  
  
“No, it’s just…” Daiki trail off.  
  
“Sounded impossible ?” Takaki finished for him, receiving some nods from the rest of them, followed by an awkward silence.  
  
“UWAH ! CHINEN ! DON’T PUT THE EGGS THERE JUST YET !” A familiar voice can be heard from the kitchen’s direction.  
  
“But you said I should put the eggs here ?”  
  
“YES ! BUT NOT WITH THE EGGSHELLS STILL THERE ! AND I HAVEN’T EVEN PREPARE THE RICE YET !”  
  
“EH ?!”  
  
“WAIT ! DON’T MOVE ! DON’T- AHH ! CHINEN ! YOU DROP THE VEGETABLES !”  
  
“GOMEN YAMA-CHAN !”  
  
“STOP ! NO ! YOU NOW SCATTERED THE RICE EVERYWHERE !”  
  
“AHH ! GOMENASAI !”  
  
The rest of JUMP just slapped their foreheads.  
  
“I forgot that the squirrel didn’t have the ability of cooking at ALL.” Hikaru sigh in exasperation.  
  
“Guess we must help the kitchen department.” Yabu then lead them all to the kitchen, where they saw what looks like the aftermath of the World War III.  
  
“What the hell is going on in here ?” Ryutaro curse under his breath, only to receive a whack in the back of his head from the oldest member of JUMP.  
  
“Language.” Yabu simply stated before Ryutaro can say anything else.  
  
“Now really, what had happened in here ?” Keito repeated Ryutaro’s question, in a more proper way.  
  
“Well, uhm… Anou…” The shortest member in JUMP seem to be lost in words.  
  
“I just remembered that having Chinen helping in the kitchen equal disaster.” Ryosuke sigh tiredly as he picks the scattered vegetables from the floor. After he put the foods on the counter, he takes the broom from the corner and start to clean up the mess on the floor.  
  
“Is there anything I can do Yama-chan ?” Chinen ask hesitantly.  
  
“Just, stay away while I’m doing the job.” Ryosuke said without even looking at the younger boy’s face.  
  
“Okay.” Chinen looked guilty as he walks away.  
  
Realizing this, Ryosuke stopped from his sweeping and sigh again. “Chi.” He calls softly.  
  
“Nani ?” The younger boy turn his head immediately at this.  
  
“Just, help me prepare the plates and other things after I finished cooking.” Ryosuke tell him while giving him a small smile.  
  
Chinen beam back at him. “Un !” And with that, he practically skipping out of the kitchen.  
  
Yuto just smile at this. “Let me help you Yama-chan~” He says excitedly as he approaches the shorter boy and pick the vegetables toward the sink to wash them.  
  
Yabu soon follow suit as he gets a wok and a pan from inside the cabinet.  
  
“We’ll just wait outside then. Too many people inside the kitchen also equal disaster.” Hikaru giggles at his own joke while leading the rest of them out.  
  
“What are you planning to make Yama-chan ?” Asked the oldest JUMP.  
  
“Omurice and a clear soup. But if you prefer something else, it’s fine.” Answered the said boy.  
  
“They’re fine.” Yuto simply reply him.  
  
“Saa, I’ll start cooking the rice then.” Yabu inform them all as he walks toward the rice box to get some of them and start washing it before he put the them inside the rice cooker.  
  
All the while, Ryosuke had started to chop the vegetables which Yuto had washed before. Then he told Yuto to boil the water for the soup. After the water is hot enough, he shoves the chopped vegetables inside the pan and wait until the vegetables are well-done before adding some seasoning inside the pan. He asks Yuto to stir the soup while he get the already done rice from the rice cooker, all the while, Yabu heat up the wok and pour the palm oil on it.  
  
Then, after the oil is hot enough, Ryosuke pour the rice on it and start stirring. Once in a while adding the seasoning and some chickens and vegetables. After a while, he asks Yabu to continue while taking another wok and do the same process with the palm oil. While waiting for the heating oil, he mixes 5 eggs into a rather big bowl, adding some salt on it. After that, he pour the eggs into another wok and wait until the eggs materialized before instructing Yabu to pour the rice on top of the omelette which Yabu did.  
  
But at that time, Yabu realize that the younger boy is wobbling a bit and his face looked paler too. Suddenly, anxiousity crept inside him.  
  
“Yama-chan ? You alright ?” He can’t help but ask the boy.  
  
Yuto, hearing this immediately turn his head around at his 2 companions.  
  
“Hmm ? I’m fine Yabu-kun. Why did you ask ?” Ryosuke tilt his head a bit.  
  
“Well, you don’t look so well. Why don’t you just wait with the others while we finish this ?” Yabu suggested.  
  
“I’m just fine Yabu-kun. I can finish this with you all.” Ryosuke try to assure the older boy.  
  
“You know, we’ll be doing just fine without you. You can just wait outside Yama-chan.” Yuto butt in.  
  
Ryosuke eyed the 2 of them suspiciously. “Why do you suddenly treat me like I’m a, fragile glass which is ready to break any sec ?” He narrows his eyes.  
  
Yabu’s mind panicked for a while. He can’t possibly tell the boy that they just talked about his possible future this afternoon without telling him what might happen to him later.  
  
“Well, you haven’t doing well last week. And you’re not in a good shape either since, you know, since that drug thing.” Surprisingly, Yuto’s answer sound convincing. Well, maybe because he’s not at all lying.  
  
Ryosuke seem thoughtful for a while before the creases on his forehead disappear. “I’m not that weak. But I appreciate your concern. Arigatou.” He makes a smile at them. “I’ll be just fine. Trust me.”  
  
After that, both Yabu and Yuto couldn’t say more. They just watch over the boy worriedly.  
  
**************************************************************************************************************  
  
“So each room will consist one BEST and one 7. Clear ?” Yabu instructed the 9 boys in front of him.  
  
“Eh ? I can’t roomed with Dai-chan/Yama-chan ?!” Both Takaki and Chinen exclaim at the same time.  
  
“Nope.” Yabu nod sternly.  
  
“Not fair.” Again they speak at the same time and pout similarly afterward.  
  
Ryosuke just giggling at this while Daiki can only sigh.  
  
“In fact, what if I pair you up the other way around ?” A bulb suddenly appear above the oldest boy’s head. “Takaki can roomed with Chinen while Dai-chan roomed with Yama-chan.”  
  
The 2 pouting boys seem to thinking about the idea for a while before nodding reluctantly.  
  
“Good. What about you 2 ?” Yabu turn his head toward Daiki and Ryosuke.  
  
Ryosuke just shrug while Daiki mutter a quiet “It’s okay for me.”  
  
Yabu just nod again. “Hm, then I guess Hikaru can roomed with…”  
  
“Keito !” Exclaimed Hikaru before Yabu can finished his words.  
  
Yabu stare at Keito who just shrug his shoulders. “Saa, then Inoo-chan can stay with Yuto and Ryutaro can stay with me.” Finished the oldest JUMP.  
  
“I’m with you again.” Commented Inoo shortly.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
In the middle of the night, Daiki suddenly awaken from his sleep. Somehow, he has this need to get some drink. As he set his feet on the ground, it’s then he heard some noises coming from his roommate. Forgetting the reason of why he was awakened at 2 o’clock in the morning, he approaches the younger boy quietly. And that’s when he realized that there’s something definitely wrong with him.  
  
“No… Stop that ! Otou-san, stop !” He could hear Ryosuke talking in his sleep restlessly, his body already covered in sweat.  
  
“Yama-chan ?” He calls Ryosuke’s name while shaking his body lightly.  
  
“Stop ! Otou-san, it hurts !” Ryosuke doesn’t budge and continue his rambling.  
  
Now that was weird. Ryosuke never called his father ‘Otou-san’. He just didn’t. And even if he did, why would his father made him hurted ? Even only in his sleep ?  
  
“Help me ! Onee-san, help ! It hurts !” Ryosuke keep on mumbling, this time he showed a pained look.  
  
Now that was more than just weird. Ryosuke also never called his sister ‘Onee-san’. Daiki start to shake the other’s body rougher. He started to become anxious at the hurted look on the younger boy’s face.  
  
“Yama-chan, wake up ! Hey !” Daiki almost screaming at this, but the boy still won’t wake up. “RYOSUKE !” He practically scream out this time.  
  
He might be concerned about waking the others up, but at least, the boy on the bed jolted his eyes open.  
  
“D-Dai-chan ?” The younger boy call his name hoarsely.  
  
“What’s wrong ?” Daiki frown concernedly.  
  
“I…” Before he could finish his words, tears already streaming down his face.  
  
Daiki was taken aback by the sudden outburst, but he managed to regain his composure and pull the younger boy into a warm embrace. “It’s okay. I’m here now, you’ll be okay.”  
  
“D-Dai-chan, I-I’m afraid.” Ryosuke managed to choke down the words between his sobs.  
  
“Hey, what’s wrong ? Why would you be afraid ?” Daiki ask him gently.  
  
“I-I had a n-nightmare. It w-was so f-frightening. I’m a-afraid.” Ryosuke said quietly.  
  
“Shush. It’s alright now. I’m here. You’ll be fine.” Daiki try to calm him down.  
  
Ryosuke said nothing and just continue hiccupping on Daiki’s shirt. After a while, his sobs had decreased and Daiki decided to pull away.  
  
“Tell me, what kind of nightmare did you had ?” Daiki look at the younger boy’s puffy eyes concernedly.  
  
“I-I forgot.” Ryosuke state in a whisper. “And I d-don’t want to r-remember anyway. All I k-know is that it was, it was so f-frightening.”  
  
Daiki smile as he caresses his hair softly. “It’s alright. You’re safe now.” He suddenly stop his trance and his smile turn into a frown when his skin made contact with the boy’s skin. “Ryosuke, you’re developing a fever !”  
  
“Really ?” Ryosuke can only stare back at the older boy with his red eyes and flushed cheeks.  
  
“Yeah. I’ll go get some towels and a cold water as well as some medicine for you.” Daiki already stood up when a warm hand stopped him.  
  
“D-don’t leave me a-alone. I’m s-scared.” Ryosuke beg at him.  
  
Daiki just smile at him and pat his head assuringly. “I won’t take long. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you.”  
  
Hesitantly, Ryosuke let go of his hand and nod slowly. “ ’Kay then.”  
  
With that, Daiki give him one last reassuring smile before he dashed out the room to get what he needs.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Aa. Arigatou Rui-san. I’ll watch over him. Don’t worry. Ja ne.”  
  
“Dai-chan ? Who did you just called ?” Yuto suddenly appear out of nowhere.  
  
“Yuto !” Daiki call his name. “I just called Rui-san to inform her that Ryosuke’s developing a fever. A quite high one. I was wondering if that’s the sign of the beginning of the 2nd phase, which apparently it is.” He sighs tiredly.  
  
“Eh ? Yama-chan’s sick ?” Yuto exclaimed loudly, receiving a nod from the other boy. “But how ? When- ?”  
  
“Last night. I suddenly awakened at 2 in the morning when I heard him mumbling. I tried to wake him up and he told me that he was having a nightmare after. That’s when I realized that his body was quite warm.” Daiki trailed off quietly.  
  
Yuto frown at this but say nothing.  
  
“Ryosuke was so frightened by his nightmare, but he claimed that he couldn’t remembered the slightest part of his nightmare except the fact that it scared him to death. He refused to got back to sleep since. I was just able into coaxed him to sleep just now.” Daiki finished with a long sigh.  
  
Yuto glance toward the clock hanging just above the door. It’s 8 already. Daiki must have exhausted. “You must be feeling really tired. Go on and get some sleep. You may use my bed. I’ll watch him at the time being.”  
  
“Is that okay with you ?” Daiki ask worriedly.  
  
Yuto nod assuringly. “Daijoubu. You just take a rest for now.”  
  
Daiki smile gently at him. “Thanks Yuto. I owe you for this.”  
  
“You owe me nothing. It’s our job to watch over each other ne ?” Yuto smile back at him.  
  
Daiki just nod before he walks toward Yuto’s room. But, only after a few steps, he looks back toward the younger yet taller boy. “Oh ! Make sure you’re always there when Ryosuke’s awakened. Apparently he’s scared a lot by his dream and didn’t want to be left alone. And make sure that you change his compression every after 10 min.”  
  
“Okay.” Yuto reply simply.  
  
“Just call me if you need anything.” Daiki tell him anxiously.  
  
“Don’t worry so much Dai-chan. I know what to do.” Yuto try to reassure the older boy.  
  
“Fine. Thanks again Yuto.” Daiki thanked him again before he totally walk away to get his own rest.  
  
Yuto shake his head slowly at the older boy’s sudden ‘mother-hen-mode’. But then he thinks that it’s just make sense. It’ll be weird to see one didn’t turn into that mode already after what happened to Ryosuke. Taking a deep breath, he starts to walk toward where the sick boy is sleeping to watch over him. He just wish that things won’t go any worse than it already is.  
  
Just when he’s about to stir the doorknob of Ryosuke’s room open, he halt and frown. “Since when Dai-chan started to call Yama-chan ‘Ryosuke’ ?”


	10. Chapter 9 - It's Finally Here

Ryosuke rub his eyes lazily as sleepness begins to fade away from his system. He sat up groggily as he feels the pounding in his head. He frowns and just put his hand on his head.  
  
“Dai-chan ?” he start to calls up as he glances toward his left just to find another person sitting on the chair where Daiki seated on before. “Yuto ?!”  
  
“Ohayou, Yama-chan !” Yuto smile at him warmly but then he glances toward his watch and frown. “But seeing the time right now, I suppose that I should’ve said ‘Konnichiwa’ instead.”  
  
“What are you doing here ? Where’s Dai-chan ?” Ryosuke ask him dumbfoundedly.  
  
“I’m here to watch over you. Dai-chan told me that you’ll freak out if you awakened alone. And to answer your second question, Dai-chan’s sleeping in my room right now.” Yuto answered him calmly.  
  
Ryosuke frown. “Why would he sleep in your room ? He has his bed here.” He asks innocently while pointing toward the said boy’s bed behind Yuto’s back.  
  
Yuto chuckle. “Really. You are so dense Yama-chan. Do you exactly expect him to rest peacefully on his own bed while he couldn’t ease up his worry over you ? I told him to sleep in my room and volunteered myself to watch over you so he could recharge his battery. You’ve kept him awake the whole night, remember ?” Yuto cross his hands in front of his chest.  
  
Ryosuke shift his gaze toward his hands guiltily. “I didn’t mean to keep him up like that. I was just…” He seemed hesitant whether to tell the other boy that he was actually frightened like girl or not.  
  
Yuto can only sigh seeing this. He never meant to make the older boy feel guilty. Really, it wasn’t his fault at all, now was it ? “Yama-chan, no one is blaming you. I understand how you felt. I was just telling you, no other means intended. If I offended you, I’m sorry.”  
  
Ryosuke return his gaze toward his bestfriend. Yuto never changed. Despite his childish and overly active attitude, he’s still the caring and understanding person. “You don’t have to apologize. It was indeed my fault Dai-chan had been tired.”  
  
Yuto know better than to talk back about this matter so he just left it like that. Instead, he asks another thing toward the boy. “So, how are you feeling right now ? Any better ?” He reach out his hand toward Ryosuke’s forehead. He still feels the radiating heat produced from the other boy’s body, but it’s not as warm as it was when he first checked his temperature.  
  
Ryosuke just nod toward him. “You and Dai-chan had took a good care of me.”  
  
The younger boy give him a small smile. “Your fever is cooling down though. But I think that you’d be better staying here the whole day until you’re fully recovered. Now, would you like to eat something ?”  
  
The older yet shorter boy purse his lips a bit. “I don’t think that I’m hungry.”  
  
“You think. But you still need to eat something so you can recover faster.” Yuto tell him in a scolding manner while arranging his pillows. “Here. Lean back here and stay put. I’ll go get some food for you.”  
  
Ryosuke tensed a bit as he let his body lean toward the soft pillows. He still hasn’t over with his fear just yet. “Can’t you just stay here with me ? I really don’t feel like eating now.” He tries to not shaking his words.  
  
Yuto frown before he comes to a realization.   
  
_“Oh ! Make sure you’re always there when Ryosuke’s awakened. Apparently he’s scared a lot by his dream and didn’t want to be left alone.”_  
  
Yuto then make a smile. He raises his hand and pat the older boy’s head encouragingly. “I’ll just have the others get the food then, so it won’t take too long for me to leave you here alone. But I still need to get out to call on one of them, so bear with it for a while ne~”  
  
Ryosuke pout. “Why did you said that as if I’m the younger one here ?”  
  
Yuto can’t help but laugh at this. “Because you’re acting like a little brat now.”  
  
Ryosuke just pout more but say nothing.  
  
“So, are you okay with that ?” Yuto ask him gently.  
  
The other boy just take a deep breath before nodding reluctantly toward Yuto.  
  
Yuto give him a smile. “I won’t take long. I promise.”  
  
Whether it’s Yuto’s smile or his words, but Ryosuke feel a sense of Déjà vu washed over him, leaving him stunned.  
  
Suddenly, a woman's voice rang through his head, followed by a calming smile from a lady who looked familiar, but also unfamiliar.  
  
 _“Now don’t cry, I won’t go for long. I promise.”_  
  
“Yama-chan ? Daijoubu ?” Yuto’s hands on both his shoulders wake him from his daze.  
  
“Ah, u-un. I’m fine.” Ryosuke try to assure the worried boy in front of him.  
  
Yuto doesn’t seemed convinced at all, but doesn’t ask for more. “Okay. I’ll go now then.”  
  
Ryosuke just smile at the retreating figure who is slowly leaving him all alone inside his room. As soon as the door’s closed, his smile turned into a frown. _‘Now what was that scene ?’_ He thought confusedly. But then he winces and hold his head tight. Just by thinking like that had worsen his headache. He then decided to just put that matter aside at the time being.  
  
************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Ah, Yabu-kun !” Yuto call the older boy’s name as he saw him walking out the library.  
  
Yabu turn his head toward him with a questioning look. “What is it Yuto ?”  
  
“Uhm, could you please make some porridge and a hot milk for Yama-chan ? I couldn’t left him for too long.” Yuto tell him straightly.  
  
Yabu’s frown deepen at this. “What for ?”  
  
“Well, he kind of sick right now. And he hates being left alone for so long because of something, but he needs to eat. So I asked you if you could make it for him ? I need to watch over him since Dai-chan had already done his part and currently is resting in my room.” Yuto try to explain him as clear as possible.  
  
Yabu seemed to wanted to ask for more but hold himself considering what Yuto told him about Ryosuke who hates being left alone. “I will. But, when you said that he’s sick, does it mean-?”  
  
“Yeah. The second phase is starting already.” Yuto’s face darkened. “But it’s unavoidable, isn’t it ? As long as we watch over him, we still can hope that his condition won’t become any worse.”  
  
Yabu heave a long sigh. “I didn’t see it coming. But we have to accept this sooner or later I suppose. I just didn’t think that it will be this fast.”  
  
“None of us thought so.” Yuto agreed with the older boy.  
  
“Anyway, I guess I’ll start preparing his meal. You may come back to his room. I may as well tell the others about his condition. I assume that the only ones who knew were you and Dai-chan, right ?” Yabu stare at Yuto deeply.  
  
Yuto nod at him. “I guess you should tell the others. Well, I’ll head back now. Who knows if Yama-chan will freak out if I left him alone longer.” Yuto smirk at the thought. “Arigatou Yabu-kun.” He thanked the older boy properly before finally walk back toward Ryosuke’s room.  
  
Yabu just smile as he watched Yuto’s retreating back. He sighs before he heads toward the kitchen. “It’s finally here.”  
  
“What’s finally here ?” Hikaru suddenly appear out of nowhere.  
  
“Hikaru !” Yabu exclaim at the sudden movement. “You gave me a heart attack, you know.”  
  
Hikaru grin widely. “You’re just getting old Yabucchi.” He beams happily.  
  
“Yeah ? Or you just still too bratty to be a grown up teen.” Yabu retort at his bestfriend.  
  
“Mou~” Hikaru whine. “Anyway, returning to my earlier question, what’s finally here ?” He seated himself on the kitchen’s counter and watch the older boy take a pan and boil some water on it.  
  
“Yama-chan is sick.” Yabu answered him shortly.  
  
But his 3 simple words managed to make Hikaru jump back to the ground and widen his eyes and gaping like an idiot. After some min, the younger teen finally managed to choke some words, “D-does that mean-?”  
  
Yabu take a deep breath. “Unfortunately, yes. He’s developing the second phase already.”  
  
Hikaru just widen his eyes more in horror. One would think that he’ll be able to plop out his eyeballs already. But after some times, when Yabu had started to stir the porridge he intended to make inside the pan, he managed to regain his composure.  
  
“It’s not like we didn’t expect this though. We knew something like this will be coming anyway.” Yabu tell the other boy before he could say anything.  
  
Hikaru look back at him solemnly. “I know, it’s just, I don’t know, it’s just too-“  
  
“Fast ? Believe me, I thought so myself. But if you count correctly, it’s just about time.” The older boy cut his words with his own thought.  
  
“What do you mean ?” Hikaru frown confusedly.  
  
Yabu take another deep breath before explaining. “According on what Yama-chan told us, it’d been more than a month already since he’d been drugged. And from what Rui-san told us, the effect of the drug will brought him into the second phase after about 2 weeks. And the medicine she gave him could only reduced the effect until 2 times of the original time the drug took effect. In summary, if we counted right, it’s only a matter of time until Yama-chan stepped into the second phase.”  
  
Hikaru finally nod in understanding at this. “Wakatta. But still, all of this things seemed so surreal to me.”  
  
“Me too.” Yabu commented shortly as he proceeds with making the hot milk. He decided that he’ll pour some strawberry essence inside the milk. “I wish he didn’t lose his piglet’s appetite eventhough he’s sick. It’d be troublesome if he did. It may affect his recovery if he refused to eat enough food to keep his body nourished.” He adds wryly.  
  
Hikaru pat his shoulder understandingly. “He won’t lose his appetite. A piglet will increase his appetite when they’re sick.” He smirks to lift up the mood.  
  
Yabu smirk back toward him. “Yeah.” Then he put the bowl of porridge and the mug of milk on a tray before heading toward Ryosuke’s room with Hikaru on his trail.  
  
If only the knew that sometimes someone’s prediction could gone wrong.


	11. Chapter 10 - A Confused Feeling

“But it’s too much, I won’t be able to finish that.”  
  
“Oh, come on Yama-chan. You used to eat more than this.”  
  
“But it really is too much for me NOW.”  
  
Ryosuke pout as he crosses his arm in front of his arms. On the other hand, the other 3 teens around him just stare at him helplessly, hoping the sick boy will eat his meal.  
  
“Yama-chan, you need to eat so you’ll recover faster.” The oldest boy amongst them start to plead. “Please, you don’t even have to finish the whole meal. Just a little bit is fine, as long as you eat.”  
  
“Yeah. You’ll never get better if you refused to eat.” Added Hikaru.  
  
Ryosuke pout more. “But I really don’t want to right now. You see, my stomach isn’t cooperating well with me, and I feel like I’ll throw up if I put even the tiniest kind of food inside my mouth. You surely don’t want me to retch in front of you, do you ?”  
  
The 3 change glances with each other with a knowing look.  
  
“Actually Yama-chan, we don’t really mind with that. At least by eating, you have something to vomit for.” Yuto said gently.  
  
The said boy was taken aback by Yuto’s declaration. “Really, you’re so persistent in making me eat the meals.”  
  
“Since you’ve been stubborn yourself.” Hikaru state smirking.  
  
“And the fact that I just can’t believe a piglet like you would turn down food.” Yabu add.  
  
Ryosuke pout again. “Yabu-kun, you hurt my feeling. It makes me lost my appetite AT ALL.” He whines while turning his head toward the window on his right.  
  
Yabu sigh. “Yama-chan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It was just a joke. Would you please eat your food ?” He tries.  
  
“I told you I don’t want to.” Replied the boy stubbornly without even turning his head back at them.  
  
“Well at least drink your milk. Please, we don’t want you to get sicker by not eating anything at all.” Yuto beg softly.  
  
Ryosuke just keep quiet. He feels guilty. He didn’t want his friends to worry so much over him. He heaves a deep breath before looking back at them. “Okay then, if you insist.”  
  
The 3 look excited at this. They’re about to say something but Ryosuke beat them.  
  
“But just the milk. I still think that I won’t be able to accept harder meal than liquid. And I really don’t want to throw up in front of you.” He tells them firmly.  
  
“Better than nothing.” Hikaru sigh in defeat as he handed over the milk to the sick boy who took it and gulp it down slowly.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
 _“Okaa-san ? Where are you going ?” A little boy just about 10 years old in age asked his mother who seemed ready to walk out the house. For some reason, he didn’t want his mother left as he felt tears welled up and blurred his vision._  
  
“Ki-chan, I’ll just go out for a while. There’s something I have to go to. You just wait here okay ?” His mother ruffled his hair lovingly.  
  
“But I don’t want to be left alone.” The boy kept on whining.  
  
The woman sighed. “Look, Ki-chan. There’s something important I really need to go to right now. You’ll learn to be a good boy and take care of the house for me, ne ?”  
  
The boy hesitatedly wiped his tears and nodded.  
  
“Now don’t cry, I won’t go for long. I promise.” She smiled assuringly before she walked out.  
  
Little did they know, that would be the last time they met each other.  
  
Just when the boy started to be fond by his own, the front door banged open and his older sister stomped inside with her tears-stained face. After seeing her brother, she ran toward him and gave him a bone-crashing hug.  
  
“Onee-san ? What’s wrong ?” The boy asked anxiously.  
  
“It’s Okaa-san. She…” His sister tried to tell him.  
  
The boy tensed up upon hearing that. “What’s wrong with her ?”  
  
The girl pulled up so she could stare at him right into the eye. “Kite, she died.”  
  
And the only thing he could do was cry.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Yama-chan !”  
  
The called boy shot his eyes open. His clothes, bed, and blanket are wet with his sweats and he could feel a fresh tears slipped from his eyes.  
  
“Yama-chan, you alright ?”  
  
He turns his gaze toward the other boy’s anxious face and sit up straight. He didn’t though, anticipate the extreme pain in his head as he did the sudden movement.  
  
“Ouch.” He clutches his head tight.  
  
“Easy. Are you alright ? Here, drink this water.” Takaki help the boy drink from the glass he puts on the drawer before. “Tell me, what happened ?”  
  
“Nightmare.” Ryosuke can only manage to choke the word while steadying his ragged breath.  
  
The older boy just frown at this. “Here, lay back.” He pushes the boy slowly so his back can lean onto the pillows behind him.  
  
“Arigatou, Takaki-kun.” Ryosuke thanked him as he leans back. He sighs in relief at the touch with the soft fabric.  
  
“Your clothes are all wet. Wait here, I’ll get you some new one.” Takaki stand up as he reaches the closet and pick a sky blue coloured pyjama from inside it. “Is it yours ? I can’t really differed it. You and Dai-chan seemed to share the same size.”  
  
Ryosuke just smile. “Yes, it’s mine. Arigatou.”  
  
Takaki shrug. “Can you stand ? Or do I need to carry you to the bathroom ?”  
  
“I think I can just walk myself.” Ryosuke put his feet on the ground and stand. Unfortunately, his feet were too shaky so he fell back to the bed.  
  
“Maybe you should just change here. I’ll wait outside.” Takaki put the clothes beside the boy and ready to walk out when the younger boy shout.  
  
“NO !” The younger boy averted his eyes toward his knees as he realized that he just yelled. “I mean, could you just wait inside instead ?”   
  
Takaki just frown before he recalling what Daiki told him before letting him watch over the sick boy. “Alright. I’ll just wait here.” Then he turns his back so he wouldn’t see Ryosuke change. “I put your underwear as well. I wish it was yours. But I think I wasn’t mistaken. The only person who will wear a strawberry patterned boxers is right behind my back !” Takaki laugh softly.  
  
“Takaki-kun !” Ryosuke exclaim embarrassedly. His cheeks are so red by now. Whether it was because of his fever or because of embarrassment, only he knows. Though it could be because of both.  
  
Takaki hummed a tone softly while waiting the younger boy to change. Usually, Ryosuke will take almost no time in changing. Experiences from changing from one costume to another on stages was the reason why. But this time, he’s changing in a very slow fashion.  
  
“Yama-chan ? You’ve done yet ?” He finally ask after about 5 min passed. Hearing no response, he calls again. “Yama-chan ?” Still, no respond from the younger boy. Feeling curious, he turns his body to see whether the younger had finished changing or not.  
  
“HOLY SHIT ! YAMA-CHAN, WHAT’S WRONG !” He screams loudly as he saw the boy crouching on his bed, body only wrapped with his new pyjama pants with the new shirt barely covering his right side, hands wrapped tightly around his head, and face, definitely showed a VERY pained look.  
  
“M-my m-medi-c-cine.” He speaks in a barely audible voice.  
  
“Your medicine ? Where did you put that ?” Takaki crouch in front of him to look at his face.  
  
Ryosuke try to raise his shaky hand at the direction of the drawer beside his bed.  
  
“Inside the drawer ?” Takaki ask worriedly.  
  
The boy just nod slowly as the older boy start to open the drawer and search for his medicine. After some times, Takaki finally sit back down in front of Ryosuke and handed him the familiar white pill which he took with his mouth since he couldn’t believe his shaky hands could hold the pill. After that, Takaki help him drink and make up his shirt. Takaki’s currently buttoning his shirt when the pain in his head start to ease up.  
  
“A-arigatou, Takaki-kun.” He thanked the other boy after the pain had reduced into almost nothing.  
  
“Did it happened a lot ? The headache I mean ?” Takaki ask him concernedly.  
  
Ryosuke blink and answer hoarsely. “Not really. Only when I was exhausted or had too much stress in mind. And it wasn’t really that often.”  
  
“Sou ka.” The older boy reply shortly. A tint of worry still etched to his face.  
  
Ryosuke frown. “But strangely, I didn’t had so much in mind to worry about. And I definitely didn’t exhausted since I just stayed in my bed since yesterday night. The only thing bothered me was the nightmare and I didn’t even remembered the nightmare to worry about it.” He states confusedly.  
  
Takaki also frown at this. He doesn’t know what’s going on either, much more giving him advise on this matter. So he tells the boy what mostly people will tell him at this condition. “Don’t mind about it now. I believe it’s just because you’re sick.”  
  
“Maybe you’re right.” Ryosuke reply while shrugging his shoulders. He yawns after that.  
  
Takaki smile. “You must be tired. But I think you can’t sleep back on your own bed now it’s wet. I’ll just carry you to Dai-chan’s bed then.” Without waiting for his reply, Takaki already pick him up and hold him close to his chest toward the other bed.  
  
“Takaki-kun !” Ryosuke yelp as he was being picked up. When he’s already settled on Daiki’s bed, his blush become more apparent. “I can move by myself you know.”  
  
“Yeah ? But I love babying you just like I love being babied by Dai-chan !” The older boy exclaim happily.  
  
Ryosuke just sweatdropped at his bandmate’s antic.  
  
“NOW !” Takaki’s yell startled the younger boy. “Why don’t you sleep back ? I won’t leave you anywhere.” His voice suddenly become so gentle.  
  
Ryosuke smile at him and nod. “Arigatou, Takaki-kun.” He thanked him again as the older boy covered him with the blanket.  
  
Takaki just reply his smile. “Oyasumi. Have a nice dream.” He brushes his hand to remove the slight damp bangs from Ryosuke’s face before the boy start to close his eyes tiredly.  
  
After he’s sure that the boy had slept by hearing the small snores from him, Takaki frown. He picks the hand towel from beside the bowl of water he put alongside with the bottle of water before and wetted it before wiping it on Ryosuke’s face and hair gently. He was definitely scared when he saw the boy in so much pain before. And he couldn’t even stopped worrying over him since he found out that Ryosuke’s sick yet. He thought it was natural, but the worry and the fear he felt was not the same like he ever felt before. It was like, as if his younger brother was struggling with some of random bad guys and he couldn’t do more than watching him fight.  
  
Takaki feel so helpless and useless. He didn’t realized the tear that slipped from his eyes until it made contact with the other boy’s cheek.  
  
“Kuso !” He hastily wipes his tears away.  
  
“Takaki-kun ?” He could hear the angelic voice called him.  
  
Takaki try to calm himself down before replying. “What is it, Yama-chan ?” He formed a strained smile.  
  
“Why did you cry ?” Ryosuke frown as he raises his hand toward Takaki’s right cheek to wipe his tears. “Did you worried about me ? I’m sorry if you do, I didn’t mean to make you worried.” A guilty tone from Ryosuke make Takaki feel like he’d been stabbed.  
  
Takaki form a strained smile. “A bit. You don’t have to blame yourself. It’s not your fault.”  
  
But the younger boy’s frown just won’t leave his face. “I’m so sorry. You must be really tired, taking care of me all the time.”  
  
“No, I don’t. Don’t worry. Beside I volunteered to took care of you because I care about you. So don’t you even think that you’re a burden to any of us because you’re not.” Takaki scolding him a little before giving him a tender smile. “Now sleep. Worry not, we’re more than willing to look after you because we knew you’ll do the same to us.”  
  
Ryosuke hesitant since the uneasiness won’t go away from his mind. After a few more coaxing, he finally relaxed himself and let the sleep take him away. Takaki sigh in relief watching Ryosuke’s sleeping figure. This is so frustrating. To be able to do nothing to help to lessened the other boy’s pain.  
  
For the first time in his life, Takaki Yuya feel miserable.


	12. Chapter 11 - I'm Just Trying To Be ME

_Sometimes adults just misunderstood children. Sometimes they just reasoned for their faults as a lesson of experience for the children. Sometimes they just won’t listen to what the children had to say. Sometimes they just forget that they were too, once a children.  
  
Sometimes they were right, but they’re also human beings who make a mistake once in a while. And sometimes, they just abandon that fact._  
  
“It’d been almost a week and he’s not getting any better.” Inoo commented after sighing loudly.  
  
“If not getting worse.” Yuto point out.  
  
“The last few nights, he’d became even more restless in his sleep. He mentioned about having bad dreams, but exclaimed that he didn’t even remember those dreams at all beside the fact that it frightened him a lot.” Daiki said tiredly.  
  
“You sure you have enough times for sleep yourself, Dai-chan ? You’ve been staying with him for most of the nights, you must be feel restless too.” Yabu ask the boy concernedly.  
  
Daiki just shake his head. “Compared to him, I’m the fittest man in the world. Beside, it’s not like any of you had enough sleep lately too anyway.”  
  
Hikaru just sigh without saying anything to argue the boy.  
  
“How can we rest peacefully knowing that one of us is in so much pain ?” Takaki said grimly. Frankly, he seemed to be one of the most affected person by Ryosuke’s condition.  
  
Keito just look up to the ceiling. “I wonder how long this will last.”  
  
“Who knows.” Yuto shrug of his shoulders.  
  
Hikaru sigh. “So, the squirrel is in charge to watch him now ?” He asks lightly, trying not to worsen the mood.  
  
Yabu just nod. “But we all know him. So in case he couldn’t stand longer, we also put Ryutaro there.”  
  
Hikaru smirk. “So you think by sending Yama-chan’s partner in fighting will help the squirrel ?”  
  
“At least Ryutaro will act unbratly to pick a fight at this moment. To tell you the truth, sending you there instead of Ryutaro will cause a bigger chaos.” Yabu smirk back.  
  
“Yeah ? Well it can’t be helped then.” Hikaru lean back to the cushion behind him to relax.  
  
Yabu sigh for who knows how much today. Lately, JUMP hadn’t been themselves. He himself was no exception. Since they moved here, he’d been ditching his works and other things he used to won’t abandoned. Even the younger kids and Inoo had missed their schools. Well, it’s not like that they’ll focused enough to catch what their teacher said in their classes at all anyway. But still, the atmosphere wouldn’t been this grumpy if only Ryosuke hadn’t suddenly fallen ill by the first night they stayed there. Not that he blamed the boy for being so, it’s just, now he really wish that the boy will get better so maybe, the air will be lighter in this house.  
  
“Then later, all I need to worry about is the wrath of Johnny-san.” The oldest boy whisper to himself ironically.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************  
  
Chinen just sit at that chair unmoving ever since they enter the room, watching the third boy inside the room sleeping. Only when the sun is above their heads Ryosuke could sleep peacefully without any single bit of nightmare. That’s why he always tend to stayed awake at nights. Ryutaro feel pity toward Daiki since he mostly spend his nights to accompanied the sick boy. Only that 2 rare nights when Takaki and Yabu volunteered to accompanied Ryosuke in his place Daiki could sleep a full night. But then, he still awakened in the middle of the night to checked on the younger boy.  
  
The youngest boy sigh in desperation. Truthfully, he’d been also awakened in the middle of the night lately everytime he heard a sound from this room which actually separated by a bathroom and a library with the room he and Yabu shared. Sometimes, he could hear a faint scream, but mostly, he just heard someone’s sniffing and another trying to calm the sniffing boy down. To be honest, he’d been restless with Ryosuke’s condition himself, though he didn’t showed that.  
  
And now, standing here with the usually bouncy boy sitting still like a statue and the usually chatty boy sleeping unsoundedly, just seemed surreal for him. Ryutaro might be the youngest member in JUMP, but it doesn’t meant that he’s stupid. He know what might this lead and he’s scared. After all the unnormal things he’d done, this had to be the moment he’d do something normal. To be scared of death. Death of someone close to him. And perhaps, death of himself.  
  
People don’t play death, that’s what’s he knows. And knowing some certain crazy scientist playing death, especially with his closest one and himself nonetheless, he couldn’t help but being scared.  
  
“Ne, Ryu-chan ? When do you think Yama-chan will get better ?” The sudden voice coming from a statue-like boy in front of him distract him from his thoughts.  
 _  
‘And why did you decided to talk now when I only started to sorting things off ?’_  
  
“Who knows ? The sooner the better.” He answered calmly, trying to be as nonchalant as possible.  
  
The older boy turn his head toward him and showing him a genuine smile. “I know you’re worried over Yama-chan either Ryu-chan. I know you had troubles with sleeps either lately.”  
 _  
‘And why did you care ?’_  
  
“You know ? How ?” He asks quietly.  
  
“I can see through people. And you’re the most transparent boy in JUMP so I could see through you easily.” The smile never faltered from Chinen’s face.  
  
 _‘Then why did you as-? Eh ?’_  
  
Ryutaro widened his eyes in surprise. “Are you serious ?”  
  
“Why won’t I ?” The shorter boy stare at him innocently before turning his head back toward the sleeping figure in front him. “You know, Yama-chan looks the best when he’s sleeping. Like an angel. And his personality is so cool too. He could be ridiculous at times, but he’ll be really mature when needed.”  
  
“Mm.”  
  
“This whole situation is just so annoying, don’t you think ?” Chinen suddenly ask.  
 _  
‘Now he’s changing the topic every 2 or 3 sentences.’_  
  
“I think so.” Replied the younger boy shortly.  
  
“Rui-san’s father surely is a simple-minded person.” He commented seriously.  
  
“Why do you think so ?” Asked Ryutaro curiously.  
  
 _‘He’s a scientist, isn’t he ? Shouldn’t a scientist think the hard way ?’_  
  
“Because he recklessly pick a path without analyzing the way before.” Answered the other boy slowly.  
  
Ryutaro frown. “Wha-?”  
  
“He didn’t deserved this, Yama-chan I mean.” Chinen cut the other boy’s words with a sad voice.  
  
The youngest boy just sigh. “Could you please stick to one thing and make an end to it before changing the topic ?”  
 _  
‘Yeah. It started to annoyed me.’_  
  
“Gomen.” Chinen apologize in a whisper. “But it was needed.” He said mysteriously.  
  
Ryutaro just frown more at this but say nothing in return. He somehow sensed there’s something that the older boy have in mind, and he’s planning to let him do what he thought he needs to do.  
 _  
‘I guess it can’t be helped.’_  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
 _“Wake up, boy.”_  
  
“Mm.”  
  
A smile.  
  
“Where am I ?”  
  
“Inside your dream.”  
  
“Ha ?”  
  
“Let’s just say that you’re actually sleeping in your sleep.”  
  
“How can that-?”  
  
“It’s a dream. Impossible things become possible.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Who are you ?”  
  
“Me ? I’m the one who need you to help me.”  
  
“What help ?”  
  
“A help to unbound me from darkness.”  
  
“How ?”  
  
“You find out. I won’t ask you if I know how.”  
  
“Make sense. But really, who are you ? As in your name.”  
  
“You knew. If you try to remember, you’ll know.”  
  
“Ha ?”  
  
“It’s something that you must find out yourself. I could just give you pieces of my past to solve the puzzle.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Why me ?”  
  
“Because you CAN do it.”  
  
“Why can’t you just pick another person ?”  
  
“Because you’re the ONLY one who can do it.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“I guess I’ll just help you out.”  
  
A smile.  
  
“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”  
  
“Don’t mind. I guess if I’m the only one who can help you then I’ll do it.”  
  
“Why ?”  
  
“Because you need it. I know it.”  
  
“Thank you, very much.”  
  
“It’s okay.”  
  
“I can’t do much to pay you. But for now, I can give you a help for a bit.”  
  
“What help ?”  
  
“You’ll see once you wake up.”  
  
“Eh ?”  
  
“Thank you so much, Yamada Ryosuke-kun.”  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
The moment Ryosuke open his eyes, he feels so much better than he had been this past week. He feels rejunevated and freshen. He smiles as he stretch his hands and sit up slowly. But then, he’s surprised by the sight in front of him.  
  
Daiki is sleeping on the chair beside his bed with his head rested on the bed, a blanket covered his back. Takaki, Yuto, Yabu and Chinen are sleeping pressed to each other on Daiki’s bed. On the floor, Hikaru, Keito and Inoo are sleeping with their blankets as their sleeping bags. There’s one other blanket on the floor without it’s occupant. Only one person wasn’t there, so Ryosuke thought that it belongs to that person.  
  
Just when he’s about to reach Daiki’s shoulder to wake him up, Ryutaro showed up holding a glass of what seemed like hot chocolate.  
  
“You’re awake.”  
  
Ryosuke smile toward him. “Ryutaro. May I ask you why are you all sleeping inside Dai-chan and my room ?”  
  
“Sweet-talking me won’t change the fact that we’re enemies.” Ryutaro retort coldly.  
  
A vein popped out from Ryosuke’s head. “You little…”  
  
“We’re all worried about you. Last night, you were suddenly started screaming and struggling. You looked in so much pain and we didn’t know what might triggered that. We all tried to calmed you down but you won’t stopped screaming, and you didn’t seemed like you’re conscious anyway. But after sometimes, you eventually stopped screaming. You gained your consciousness for a while to said something but then collapsed afterward.” Explained the youngest boy as he handed the glass toward Ryosuke.  
  
“Eh ?” Ryosuke look up confusedly.  
  
“I haven’t drink that, don’t worry. Now you’re awake, I think it’d be better for you.” Ryutaro shrug his shoulders nonchalantly.  
  
Ryosuke smile. “Arigatou, Ryutaro.”  
  
The other boy just shrug and turn his back to hide his blush.  
  
Ryosuke’s smile widened at this before he start sipping the hot chocolate.  
  
“Dai-chan cried until he fell asleep after that.” Ryutaro suddenly speak up.  
  
“Eh ?” Ryosuke look up toward Ryutaro’s back before turning his gaze at Daiki’s sleeping figure. A tint of guilt start creeping inside him.  
  
“And Takaki-kun even cried and shouting while we tried to calmed you. Chinen ended up sobbing on Yuto-kun’s shirt while Yuto-kun himself looked very distracted.” Ryutaro continue on.  
  
Ryosuke feel his guilt grow bigger. But then, something strike him and he couldn’t help himself from asking. “Ryutaro, what did I said when I gained my consciousness last night ?”  
  
Ryutaro turn his face back toward him. “You don’t remember ?” He asks back in disbelief.  
  
Ryosuke just shake his head slowly.  
  
“Weird, since what you told us last night was, ‘I finally remembered !’ ” Answered the boy in slight amusement.  
  
Ryosuke frown at this. “What did I re-?” He stopped mid-sentence as he finally remember what he remembered. “Ryutaro, you’re right. I finally remembered.”  
  
“Fascinating. So what did you remember ?” Ryutaro ask with small amount of interest.  
  
“My dreams.” He looks up to lock eyes with the younger boy. “I finally remembered what I’ve been dreaming these past few days.”


	13. Chapter 12 - The Shadow Of The Past

“W-what did you said ?”  
  
Ryosuke turn his head toward the other boy.  
  
“Y-Yuto ?”  
  
Both Ryosuke and Ryutaro were too deep in their own conversation, they didn’t realized that another boy had awakened from his sleep.  
  
“Since when did you wake up ?” Ryutaro ask after heaving a deep sigh.  
  
“Well…” Yuto trail off.  
  
Ryosuke sigh. “Let’s just speak about this tomorrow, okay ? You must be really tired, taking care of me the past week.” He said guiltily.  
  
“I think so.” Yuto form a small smile. “Look, Yama-chan, you don’t have to feel guilty or else. It wasn’t your fault anyway.”  
  
Ryosuke smile back at him. “Arigatou.”  
  
“Now, how are you feeling ?” Yuto ask the boy.  
  
“I’m feeling so much better now. “ Answered the boy.  
  
Ryutaro then butt in. “Okay, so let’s go back to sleep. We’ll talk about your dreams tomorrow morning.”  
  
“Un.” The 2 boys nod.  
  
After that, Ryutaro returned to his blanket on the floor and Yuto lay back on Daiki’s bed. As for Ryosuke, he just watch the other boys sleeping. Truthfully, he’s still feeling afraid of sleeping in the night.  
  
“But I have to get over it after all.” He whispers sadly.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
“You sure you’re fine ?” Daiki ask the other boy worriedly. Last night, Ryosuke’s temperature was quite high, but this morning when he woke up, he found the boy already up while smiling happily toward him and stated that he’s totally fine.  
  
“Un !” Ryosuke nod while smiling widely. “I’m feeling so much better now. Thanks to all of you !” He beams toward Daiki and the rest of JUMP.  
  
Yabu place his hand on Ryosuke’s forehead. “Hmm. Your fever is gone indeed. But I don’t think you can go anywhere and do anything hard just yet. Your movement will still be limited inside this room. And the bathroom of course. We don’t want the fever to come back just because you move too much.”  
  
Ryosuke pout. “But I’m bored !” He whines.  
  
Yabu give him a scolding look, telling him that his decision is firm.  
  
The boy pout more. “What about the living room ? At least I can stay there and watch something ne ?”  
  
The oldest member of JUMP frown for some moments before nodding his head. “But ! You have to bring your blanket and wear a warm clothes. A jacket too if necessary.” He command the younger boy before the other can say anything.  
  
“Mou~ It’s not like I’ll be going outside. I don’t need the jacket if I had the blanket already.” Ryosuke protest.  
  
“I said ‘if’ necessary. If you feel colder, than the jacket will be within your reach to wear.” Yabu cross his arms sternly.  
  
Ryosuke cross his arms as well. “Fine.”  
  
The other boys can only watch in amusement.  
  
“You know. The 2 of you really looked like a mother and a son.” Hikaru commented quietly.  
  
Yabu is about to reply to Hikaru’s words when Ryosuke beat him.  
  
“You know, I just realized, that all this time, I’ve been dreaming about the life that once happened under this roof.” Ryosuke mutter quietly while the other boys surrounding him.  
  
“What ?” Hikaru exclaimed, startled by the sudden change of topic.  
  
“Last night. Ryutaro told me what cause you to spent the night at my and Dai-chan’s room. And from his story, I remembered that I was saying ‘I finally remember’ last night. And yeah, I finally remember something that I couldn’t these past few nights. Finally, I remember what I’ve dreamt ever since we lived here.” Ryosuke explain in a whisper.  
  
“Impossible.” Inoo cover his mouth in surprise.  
  
“But how- ?” Yabu trail off.  
  
“I don’t know. It just did.” Ryosuke shrug. “Kite-kun said that impossible things become possible inside your dreams.”  
  
“Kite-kun ? You mean- ?” Inoo widen his eyes.  
  
“Un.” Ryosuke nod. “He showed me his past inside my dreams. I know he’s no longer alive, but, I think it was his spirit or something.”  
  
“You mean ghost ?” Takaki exclaim. Fear is evident in his face.  
  
“Maybe.” Ryosuke shrug once again. “I’m not sure.”  
  
“So what did you dreamt about ?” Daiki ask frowning after whacking Takaki’s head.  
  
“Well,” Ryosuke frown. “As I told you, it was about the life that was once happened in this house. Or precisely, the life from Kite-kun’s eyes.”  
  
No one dared to say anything as they wait for Ryosuke to continue his story.  
  
“I can only tell you what I saw inside my dreams. It didn’t came out in time order, but I think I could figure out what happened there.” He looks at his friends intently. “Years ago, when Kite-kun was around 9 or 10, his mother died. And ever since, the usual warmth inside this house disappeared. I think, their father was so depressed by his wife’s death, so he took the violent side. Ever since that day, he seemed to blamed Kite-kun for the death of his wife and started abusing him.”  
  
“Why ?” Keito ask frowning.  
  
Ryosuke shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe because Kite-kun was the only one at house when that unfortunate event occurred. And somehow, Touyama-san thought that if only Kite-kun stopped his mother from going out that day, she wouldn’t die.” He paused for a bit. “He tried to tell Rui, his sister, about this. But his father threatened him that he’ll be killed if he did so. And I don’t know, but I feel like that he still believe that his father will stopped eventually.”  
  
Yabu already cross his arms since Ryosuke started his story, and creases of frown plastered on his forehead. “What else did you know ?”  
  
Ryosuke shake his head slowly. “Mostly, it was just about how Kite-kun’s father abused him.”  
  
All of them fall into silence afterwards until Ryosuke break it.  
  
“You know, last night, Kite-kun came and conversed with me in my dream. He asked my help, to unbound him from the darkness.”  
  
“Ha ?” Hikaru ask dumbfoundedly.  
  
“It’s just my instinct, but I think that there’s another reason why Kite-kun decided to end his life. I don’t think it was just because of his jealousy toward us. And, he wanted us to help him solve that.” Ryosuke said surely, but carefully.  
  
The rest of them, sans Chinen, widen their eyes in surprise. They suddenly remembered what Rui told them at that first day they stayed at this house together.  
  
 _‘Masa ka ?’_ Daiki thought in surprise.  
  
“I thought I’ll gain more clues after another series of dreams. But, “ Ryosuke put a sheepish smile. “I’m still afraid of those dreams. I don’t think I can deal with them for now.”  
  
Yabu smile a comforting smile. “It’s okay. We’ll always stay by your side.”  
  
“Arigatou.” Ryosuke make a tender smile.  
  
“Hey ! Does none of you thought that this is creepy ?” Takaki stare at them in disbelief.  
  
His simple sentence of fright is enough to silenced them all. After 5 more seconds, they break into a series of laughter.  
  
“You’re not in your cool mode, ne, Bakaki ?” Daiki tease him.  
  
“Urusai, you penguin !” Takaki yell at the younger boy while trying to hide his blush.  
  
“Stop right there you two.” Yabu stand between the 2 of them. “Yama-chan had just been recovered, you shouldn’t start your cat-fight.”  
  
“It’s okay, Yabu-kun. It’s fun to see them like that.” Ryosuke beam happily, feeling interested.  
  
“See ? He doesn’t even mind, Yabu-kun !” Daiki smirk.  
  
“But the rest of us do mind.” Yabu said firmly. “Now, it’s almost breakfast time and I’m in charge for the kitchen. When I’m finished making foods, I want you all ready at the diner table. Bathed, and clean-clothed. Understand ?” He commands sternly.  
  
“Hai !” Chorused the 9 JUMP.  
  
“Good. Ryutaro ! let’s get the breakfast ready.” And after that, Yabumama step out of the room with the slightly frightened Ryutaro tailing him.  
  
“Truth to be told, I’d be more than willing to make some noise inside. If not for Yabumama.” Hikaru whisper playfully.  
  
The rest of JUMP can’t help but giggling by Hikaru’s comment. Indeed, Yabumama can be very scary when he’s mad. So they can’t do anything but to comply with his words.


	14. Chapter 13 - Prediction

_“What did you said ?”_  
  
“We just, we just realized that he prescription you gave us wasn’t actually meant for the antidote.”  
  
“Then what- ?”  
  
“It was the presciption for the cancer, not for made-up one.”  
  
“I thought you told me that it was !”  
  
“Apparently, your father never made one.”  
  
“But we can still try right ? The antidote must be still based on it, right ?”  
  
“It slowed the drug, yes. But it can’t stop it for good.”  
  
“But we still have time to make the real antidote, right ?”  
  
“...”  
  
“RIGHT ?!”  
  
“Indeed, we have all the times in the world. But they don’t have the same luck.”  
  
“But, if what you said is true, than, they will…”  
  
“I’m sorry.”  
  
“No way.”  
  
“Now, what we can do is to keep them as health as we can. Therefore, they can survive longer.”  
  
“I understand that.”  
  
“But I guess that for now, we need to pay extra care for a certain boy.”  
  
“How long is your prediction for him ?”  
  
“Less than a month. Considering his recent condition.”  
  
“What about the other 6 ?”  
  
“I can guarantee their times until the end of this year. Even more if we keep a very good eyes on them.”  
  
“As if they’ll just stay still and wait.”  
  
“But we still will try, won’t we ?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“...”  
  
“This was my fault. If I told them not to go outside, at least 9 of them will survive this.”  
  
“It’s no one’s fault. None of us know that something like this will occurred.”  
  
“Why did it has to ended this way ?”  
  
“It’s fate. Look at the good side. At least some of them survive the drug effect.”  
  
“Only 3 of them.”  
  
“But still, at least those 3 will live.”  
  
“I know. I just, don’t know what to tell them.”  
  
“Tell them the truth.”  
  
“Yeah. But it’s a thing easier said than done.”  
  
******************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Ryosuke stare at the ceiling inside his room. He’s too deep in thought, he didn’t realize that Daiki is already sitting beside him.  
  
“Something’s bothering you ?”  
  
He gasps in surprise at the sudden question and immediately turn his head toward the other boy.  
  
“Dai-chan !”  
  
“You were spacing out just now. What’s wrong ?” Daiki repeat his question.  
  
Ryosuke stay silent for a moment. He’s considering whether to tell the older boy about his dream or not. Deciding that it’s not wise to tell him just yet, he simply said, “It’s nothing. Just, didn’t have anything particular to think about.”  
  
“Sou ka ?” Daiki purse his lips.  
  
“Ne, Dai-chan~” He chirped.  
  
“Nani ?” Daiki ask while tilting his head a bit.  
  
“You know, I think you shouldn’t go out too often.” Ryosuke mutter quietly.  
  
“Eh ? Doushite ?” The older boy ask, a frown forming on his forehead.  
  
“I don’t know. Just my instinct.” Ryosuke shrug.  
  
“We need to be careful indeed. So it wasn’t a bad idea after all.” Daiki said calmly.  
  
A silence engulf the two of them after that.  
  
“I’ll go watch something down there. Wanna come with me ?” Daiki stand up from his seat.  
  
“I’ll just stay here.” Replied the younger boy.  
  
“Sou ka.” Daiki commented shortly as he start to walk off.  
  
“Dai-chan.” Called Ryosuke as the other boy is about to reach the doorknob.  
  
“Hmm ?” Daiki turn his head.  
  
“When you told me that you’ll still remember me even after I’m no longer here, did you mean it ?” Ryosuke ask hesitantly.  
  
Daiki frown. “I mean it, of course. Why do you ask ?”  
  
“Nothing. Just curious.” Ryosuke reasoned.  
  
“Well, if you think so.” Daiki seemed to be unconvinced, but doesn’t pry for more, and just leave Ryosuke alone after closing the door behind him.  
  
“Arigatou, Dai-chan.” Ryosuke whisper as a soft smile grace his lips. “I wish I can prevent any of you to be like me. I wish none of you have to leave this world. Knowing that all of you will be alright, then perhaps I’ll leave peacefully.”  
  
He then returns his gaze toward the ceiling.  
  
“But really, was my dream a part of the future ? Or was it just my mere imagination ?” Ryosuke frown. He remembered there was a calendar showing him a date 2 months later from the present inside his latest dream. “And why did it suddenly changed ? Recently, I only had dreams which consisted Kite-kun’s past in this house, why it suddenly showed the future ? And a future consist her and an unknown person nonetheless ?”  
  
Deep inside his heart, he wish that it was just the creativity of his dreamland. He wish that it will never occurred. Rui will make the perfect antidote for him and no one else has to be drugged. And in the end, Touyama-san will realize his mistake and stop his attempt to kill them.  
  
For this time, he really wish that his dream won’t come true.


	15. Chapter 14 - Confrontation Of One To Another

“He said that ?” Yabu ask the younger boy as the 2 of them sit in front of the TV.  
  
“Un. I didn’t know what he meant though.” Daiki nod.  
  
“You know, I’ve been wondering about this, but I think that Yama-chan can see things inside his dreams.” Yabu state while averting his eyes toward the screen without really watching it. “I guess what he just told you has something to do with his dreams.”  
  
“I thought so too.” Daiki agree with the older boy. “So what are you suppose us to do, Ko-chan ?”  
  
“We’ll follow his words.” Yabu decide firmly.  
  
Daiki just nod in approval. “We’ll need to tell the others if that’s the case then. Anyway, has Rui-san stopped by ?”  
  
“Not yet, why ?” Yabu ask with a tint of worry in his voice.  
  
“Ryosuke’s medicine is running out. We’ll need another one just in case.” Answered the boy.  
  
“I see. I’ll call her then if she could come today.” Yabu said simply.  
  
“I’ll go back to our bedroom then.” Daiki inform the other boy as he stand up.  
  
“Dai-chan, when will you start schooling again ? You know you can’t stay here forever, ne ?” Yabu ask before the boy can move.  
  
“I’m not sure. We need to talk about that with the others too.” Daiki reply uncertainly.  
  
“I think so. We’ll talk about this again later then.” Yabu nod in agreement.  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
 _“Am I doing the right thing ? Or am I just being a selfish brat who just ignored other’s opinions and just do what I thought must be done ?”_  
  
Ryosuke clutch his head in utter pain. While thinking about the whole problem they’re facing, he suddenly feel a pain in his head. But this time, the pain he feels is unexpectedly worse than the pain he used to have.  
  
When he tries to crouch down from his bed to get his medicine inside the drawer, he lost his balance and fall hard to the ground. The sound made by the collision was definitely can be heard inside the whole house.  
  
In less than a min, the rest of JUMP rush in just to watch Ryosuke sprawling on the floor, holding his head tightly.  
  
“Ryosuke !” Daiki yell as he runs toward the boy. “What happened ?” He lifts the boy’s head to his lap.  
  
“Head… hurts… medicine…” Ryosuke said quietly between his halting breath.  
  
Daiki quickly open the drawer to get Ryosuke’s medicine and put it on the younger boy’s mouth and make him drink the water Takaki offered. As he gives the glass of water back to Takaki after Ryosuke gulped the water, he gasps in surprise to see blood oozing out from Ryosuke’s nose.  
  
“Ryosuke ! You have a nosebleed !” At his words, the rest of JUMP turn their head toward the said boy and gasp.  
  
“What happened ?” Keito ask to no one in particular.  
  
Moving by instinct, Chinen run out of the room and return a few min later bringing a wet hand towel and 1 dry one. He rushed toward the other boys and wipe Ryosuke’s blood stained face with the wet towel. After that, he put the dry towel under the other boy’s nose to stop the bleeding.  
  
“We should lay him back on the bed.” Chinen said calmly, resulting a few wide eyes from his bandmates.  
  
“A-aa.” Daiki simply reply as he begins to lift the other boy’s body bridal style.  
  
Takaki and Yabu are about to help him but frozen in their place as they watch Daiki easily pick the boy and put him on his bed.  
  
“Is it me, or Dai-chan really has become stronger ?” Ryutaro ask in utter disbelief.  
  
“Frankly, Ryosuke had become so much lighter. I don’t think that he’s any heavier than Chinen now.” Daiki reply in a rather desperate tone.  
  
“If we’re in a whole different situation like now, I believe Yama-chan will cry in happiness for losing some weights.” Hikaru try to lift up the mood.  
  
Keito make a sad smile. “Yeah. But we’re in this situation, and it’s me who feels like crying.”  
  
“Yama-chan is strong. He’ll make it somehow.” Yuto commented sadly.  
  
“Hey, you’ve started to talk about me again like I’m somewhere else, you know.” Suddenly, the boy on the bed speak up with a hoarse and slightly muffled voice. “But don’t worry, just like Yuto said, I’m strong. I’ll be fine.” He tries to assure the other boys.  
  
 _“I hope so.”_  
  
Daiki smile while removing the towel from under Ryosuke’s nose. “It seemed that the bleeding has stop.”  
  
“Yokatta ne.” Chinen said while beaming a smile.  
  
“Why did you suddenly had a nosebleed ?” Takaki ask, a frown on his forehead.  
  
“I don’t know.” Ryosuke shrug. “I just knew that somehow, the headache I had just now was much stronger than the previous ones.”  
  
“Hontou desuka ?” Asked Inoo worriedly.  
  
“Un.” Ryosuke nod. “But don’t worry, I’m fine now.”  
  
“If you think so.” Inoo said shortly.  
  
“Saa, I think you should rest. We’ll leave you then. Just call us if you need anything. I’ll be at the library.” Yabu tell the boy in a motherly tone.  
  
Ryosuke make a small giggle weakly before commenting. “Hai, Yabumama.”  
  
The other boys laugh softly at that, while Yabu himself is trying to hide his blush.  
  
“So, rest well then.” Daiki cover the boy with a blanket.  
  
“Dai-chan, it’s not that cold today, and it’s noon anyway. There’s no point of using a blanket.” Ryosuke pout at what the other boy’s doing.  
  
“Yeah ? But I remember hearing from a certain girl to make sure that you sleep with a blanket on. Cold or not.” Daiki insist.  
  
Ryosuke frown. “Rui told you so ?”  
  
“Un. She came here when you and Chinen were sleeping at that first day we stayed here.” Daiki nod.  
  
“Sou ka ? What else did she said ?” Ryosuke ask curiously.  
  
Daiki, as well as the rest of JUMP- sans Chinen- tense up at this. “Uhm, nothing more. She just asked us to take care of you well.”  
  
Ryosuke narrowed his eyes in suspicious. “There’s something you’re hiding from me.”  
  
“There’s nothing we’re hiding from you !” Daiki try to convince the other boy.  
  
“Yes, there is. I know it.” Ryosuke stick on his thought.  
  
“There isn’t ! Now you better sleep !” Daiki try to avert the topic.  
  
“I won’t sleep until you tell me what you’re hiding.” Ryosuke sat up and cross his arms in front of his chest. “I’m determined and nothing can stop me.”  
  
The other boys begin to become more nervous. They don’t know whether to tell the boy or not.  
  
“She told us about your detail condition.” Unexpectedly, the words are coming from none other than Chinen Yuri.  
  
“Ha ?” Ryosuke stare at the younger boy in confusion.  
  
“Chi ! Why did you said that ?” Yuto scold the boy. “Wait a minute, how did you know anyway ? I thought you were sleeping when Rui-san came !”  
  
“I’m a psychic !” Exclaimed the squirrel happily, but the dangerous glints in his eyes showed them that Chinen is deadly serious.  
  
Yuto just sweatdropped. He knows he can’t pry more if Chinen wouldn’t let him know. Faintly, he saw Ryutaro shift uncomfortably. Somehow, it gave him a clue.  
  
“What do you mean by my detail condition ?” Ryosuke ask again.  
  
“Well, she said it’s about the phases that you’ll get through under the drug effect.” Chinen shrug off.  
  
“And ? What about those phases ?” Ryosuke pry.  
  
Chinen heave a deep sigh. “It seems that you won’t stop easily, ne~”  
  
“I learnt from you, remember ?” Ryosuke smirk knowingly.  
  
“Saa, it can’t be helped then.” Chinen shrug once again before telling the other boy the whole story.  
  
After 15 whole min, the room fell into a deafening silence.  
  
“I see. So she said that to you.” Ryosuke avert his eyes toward the window on his right he came to fond of.  
  
No one replying to his words as they only watch the boy staring outside the window longingly.  
  
“Saa, it wasn’t that hard to tell me, ne ?” Ryosuke finally return his gaze toward the other boys with a warm smile on his lips.  
  
“Yama-chan ? Daijoubu ka ?” Yuto ask him worriedly.  
  
“Why won’t I ? You know, I’ve been expecting things like that to come. So, yeah. I guess I’ve been ready since a long time ago to accept that fact.” Ryosuke said lightly before he yawns. “I think, I should take a rest now. Don’t’ you have anything else to do ?”  
  
“I think so.” Yabu said doubtfully.  
  
“We shall leave then.” Chinen said calmly. “Rest well, Yama-chan !” He beams before walking out the room, followed by the others reluctantly.  
  
Little did they know, that right after Yabu close the door, a single tear escape Ryosuke’s eyes. “I’ve expected this. But I think, to really face it was another thing.” He smiles ironically.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Why did you tell him ?!” Takaki cornering the shortest member in JUMP with the rest of JUMP surround them.  
  
“I have a reason.” Chinen reply coolly, Takaki’s anger didn’t even intimidate him.  
  
“But he’s not ready to know it yet !” Takaki retort.  
  
“Then when will he be ready ?” Chinen ask challengingly. “When his condition is worse ? When it’s too late to even warn him ? Don’t you think he’ll become more than just unready later ? With his condition and such, he won’t even survived the news !”  
  
“But can’t you see his face ? He looked so, so desperate !” Takaki start yelling.  
  
“Takaki, let’s just-“ Daiki try to stop the 2, but they didn’t seem to acknowledge his presence at all. And for Takaki to not acknowledging Daiki’s presence, is a sign that he’s really, really mad.  
  
“He’s desperate because he felt betrayed ! How do you think he felt, knowing that he’d been left in the dark about himself ?” Chinen yell back at the older boy, ignoring the older boy’s death glare. “Ryosuke deserved to know everything concerning himself ! Don’t you think about his feeling if he knows this later from someone else ?”  
  
“But think about his condition ! He was just having a headache ! And a severe one for God’s sake !” Takaki glare at him furiously.  
  
“And don’t you think about his condition as well ? We all know that he’ll got a headache if he’s stressed ! And by obviously hiding things from him and make him wondering by himself won’t make his condition worse ? Do you think about that too ?” Chinen glare back with the same intensity.  
  
“I…” Takaki was definitely taken aback by the boy’s exclamation. His anger dissipated by a bit.  
  
“See ? And you dare told me to think about his condition ?” Chinen push the older boy away.  
  
“ENOUGH !” Yabu shout at the two of them. “Ryosuke might hear you two ! What do you think he’ll feel then ?”  
  
That simple sentences from the oldest boy are enough to shut the fighting couple.  
  
“Takaki, you’re one of the oldest member here, you should’ve set a better example. Beside, Chinen got a point there. It doesn’t mean that I can accept your attitude for shouting back at Takaki, boy.” Yabu scold the couple fiercely. “Now, you two needed to be punished. You’ll be in charge for cleaning up the house for a week.”  
  
“What ? But-“ Takaki try to protest.  
  
“I have control while we’re inside this house because I’m the oldest one. So, no protesting Takaki.” Yabu said in a final tone. “Try to accept that and learn from your mistake. Now, dismiss. I’ll prepare lunch. Ikkou zo, Hikaru !”  
  
“Yabumama is in action again. And why did he always pick a random person to accompany him in the kitchen ?” Hikaru groan.  
  
“Learn to accept that, Hikaru-kun.” Ryutaro pat the older boy’s shoulder in a knowing face.  
  
Hikaru heave a deep sigh before following Yabu toward the kitchen.


	16. Chapter 15 - Once Again, If Only

“Really, what were those supposed to mean ?” Ryosuke frown as he recalls his latest dreams which got weirder and weirder.  
  
“Ha ?” Hikaru make a face toward the younger boy and his weird question.  
  
Ryosuke jolt at Hikaru’s sound. He didn’t realize it that he just said that aloud. “I- I mean, the TV show. I didn’t understand the meaning of that at all.” He points out to the screen panickedly.  
  
Hikaru turn his head toward the TV with his weird face still on and found out that it currently playing Music Station. “What do you have to understand from that ? All you have to do is listening to the music. No thinking involved.”  
  
“Eh ? Eto... I was just wondering what the meaning of the lyric of the song. Yeah, that.” Reasoned the younger boy.  
  
Hikaru make another face. Well, they’re playing an English song after all. Everyone knows that Yama-chan is terrible in English. “Make sense. Well, you can always ask Keito for that. I always did that.” And with that he leaves.  
  
Ryosuke sigh in relief. It was so close. One wrong word and his secrets will be revealed. Not that he wanted to keep it as a secret. It’s just the other boys had had a lot in mind already, and he didn’t want to add another one.  
  
If only…  
  
******************************************************************************************************************************************  
  
Keito was never a loud person. And he never thought that he’ll ever need to talk that much in the near future. If people won’t ask, then he won’t answer. But as he remembered that one particular day, he wished that he could speak more of what he was feeling truthfully toward _him_. But then again, it seems that fate has its way to try to connect the two of them without any proper words being spoken. Or so he thought.  
  
“Keito, can you please take this to Yama-chan’s room ? I have something else to do.” Hikaru ask, a mischievious look on his eyes.  
  
Being an obedient boy he was, Keito just nod without complaining. He knows that Hikaru was just too lazy to do things by his own and he was just the victim Hikaru can sacrifice.  
  
“Oh, well. I just have to get these done and continue with my guitar later.” He muttered to himself.  
  
He then walks upstairs while thinking a lot of bunch, including of one of his bandmate’s current condition. Ryosuke was just fallen ill, again. It was because he was staying up late, is what Daiki had subbed them the prior morning. But strangely, Ryosuke had become stranger than before. But as for why, Keito couldn’t quite understand why. Heck, he didn’t even know why he thought so in the first place.  
  
Keito sigh. He’s now standing right before Ryosuke and Daiki’s room. All he has to do is raise a hand and knock, but somehow, he just felt something holding him up. Heaving a deep breath, Keito start knocking.  
  
“Yama-chan ? It’s me, Keito. I’m coming in, okay ?” He says a bit loudly from outside as he reaches his hand to stir the doorknob. “Yama-chan ?” He calls out into the silent room.  
  
Keito slowly put the tray of food on the bedside drawer as he approaches the figure lying under the thick blanket. He gently shakes the figure but then frowning to found nothing but a pillow put neatly under it.  
  
“Where would Yama-chan be ?” His heart start to beat faster as a tinge of worry disturb him.  
  
Just when he’s about to look for the younger boy, a familiar voice called him.  
  
“Keito ?”  
  
Keito immediately turn his head at the voice. “Yama-chan ! Where have you been ?! Don’t you know that I was worried when you weren’t there ?!” He asks louder than he meant to.  
  
“G-gomen. I-I was just l-leaving for the b-bathroom.” The said boy answered fearfully, shocked at the usual calm boy at a different state.  
  
Keito, realizing what he just did, take a deep breath to try to calm his temper. “Gomen. I was just worried. I didn’t meant to shout at you.”  
  
“T-that’s okay.” Ryosuke shift his body uncomfortably, still feeling slightly unconvinced.  
  
Keito just look at the younger boy in regret. “I really am sorry, Ryosuke. I promise I won’t do that again.”  
  
Ryosuke, seemed to take an understanding just sigh. “I understand. Really. I believe I’ll do the same if I were you. So no need to apologize like that Keito. That was partly my fault. Leaving like that without a notice.” He slowly walks to the bed and sit on it, his fingers beckoning the older boy to sit beside him. “So, what’s the occasion ?” Asked Ryosuke, while eyes now eyeing the tray of food placed on top of his drawer.  
  
“Well, uhm. I was just delivering your food. It was supposed to be Hikaru’s job, but it seemed like that he’d prefer catching up some sleeps, so, yeah, here I am.” Explained Keito. His brows furrowed at the sudden change of expression of the younger boy. “What’s wrong ?”  
  
“I am.” Answered Ryosuke, his voice filled with sorrow. Seeing the confused face of his friend, he continues, “In the end, I was just a burden to everyone. You had to do things you didn’t want to do just because of I was too weak to do it myself. And if I tried to do things by myself, I will only make the others worry.”  
  
“Yama- No, Ryosuke, listen to me. We’re doing this all not because of we were forced to, but because we all care. We know that you’ll do the same to any of us if the situation is reversed, so what was so wrong in trying to do the same ?” Keito try to explain.  
  
Ryosuke smile a sad smile. “I don’t think I’ll do the same to any of you if I was in your position.”  
  
“Why ?” Keito frown confusedly. He never thought of the younger boy as a selfish individual.  
  
“Because I’d rather none of you have to go through what I’ve gone through. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself if ever our condition was reversed.” The younger boy answer serenely.  
  
Keito is at lost at the words Ryosuke just uttered. He feels his vision blurs a bit and he quickly wipes his eyes to prevent the tears that was threatening to fall dropped to the ground.  
  
“Keito ? What’s wrong ?” Ryosuke ask, tilting his head to get a clearer view of the older boy’s face.  
  
“Nothing. Really. Just something got into my eyes.” Keito try to assure him.  
  
“Hontou ?” The boy wonder just frown as he was uncertain of Keito’s answer.  
  
“Un !” Keito beam. “Now, why don’t you start eating your food ? It’s getting cold.” He tries to avert the current conversation.  
  
“Mou~ I’m not that hungry right now.” Ryosuke pout, completely distracted.  
  
“But you need to eat no matter what ! I won’t ever leave the room unless you finished your food !” Keito cross his hands in front of his chest to show his determination.  
  
Ryosuke just pout more but obey nevertheless. He reluctantly pick the plate from the tray. It consists eggplants, and eggplant is his favourite. But somehow, today he’s just not in the mood. Sighing loudly, he starts digging into his food.  
  
After 30 min or so, after much coaxing from the older boy, and much protesting from the younger one, Ryosuke finally finished his food, along with the strawberry dessert and a full glass of milk with strawberry essence mixed in they provided him. Keito then start to gathering the dishes, but not without a small complaint from Ryosuke on how full he was.  
  
“Good for you then. I’ve never seen you finished any of your meals recently, and I’m getting worried of where the Ryosuke I know have went to.” Keito commented jokingly.  
  
“Mou~ Keito, you’re a meanie~” Ryosuke wail as he puffs his cheeks, make himself looked chubbier than before.  
  
Keito just laugh at his friend’s childishness. He was about to reach the doorknob when that voice he start to like is calling his name.  
  
“Keito, you know you can always come to me when you need anyone to hear you out. I will always be there for you, though I’m no longer here.”  
  
A single crystal tear finally fall from the English boy’s eyes. Without turning back, he tries to reply without shaking, “I know. Thanks Ryosuke.” And he just left.  
  
If only he decided to just take a single peek behind him, he would see how those dark brown orbs glistening with an unshed tears.  
  
Once again, if only…


	17. Chapter 16 - Behind That Rusty Old Book

Ryosuke was bored. Badly. He wished that he has anything better to do, but nothing can seemed to attract his interest. Well, there are actually some, but there’s no way the others will let him do. Ever since they started to live together, it seemed that the rest of JUMP members had been like his bodyguards or something like that.  
  
“Maybe I’ll just tour around the house.” He mumbles to himself as he gets up from his bed and headed outside.  
  
No one is home right now. Thanks to him who had managed to coax them all into taking some sunshine, and getting the younger boys back to class. But eventhough he said that he’ll be fine alone, he actually feels a bit jealous toward them.  
  
“Why can’t I go out like them too.” He sighs deeply.  
  
Unconsciously, his feet brought him inside the library and to one of the big shelves. Learning from his previous experiences here, he decided that there weren’t any interesting books here. All of them were about scientific and medical fields books. He could just read them out of boresome, but then again, he knew he won’t understand at all.  
  
But, he decided that it was because he has nothing else to do, he slowly walks through the shelves while scanning each and every books placed neatly on them. Out of sudden, when his mind were occupied by how complicated even the title of the books like, a small ‘thump’ could be heard from the end of the shelf he’s in.  
  
Narrowing his eyes, he quietly walk toward the sound, all the while trying to figure out what had caused it. As he got nearer, he could see a small book, different from the other books, since this one is thin and looked more as a journal than an overly thick textbook, lying on the floor. He hesitantly pick the book up and wipe the dust on it away. Looking around for any possible cause which made the book fell, he decided that it was probably a rat or something. Shuddering at the thought, he quickly runs toward the small couch just beside the window at the other side of the small library.  
  
He’s aware that somehow, his heart beats faster as he proceeded to open the book, but he ignores that, concluding that he’s just too excited to get to know what’s inside the book. He sits at the couch and take a deep breath before finally, he carefully open up the black cover.  
  
 _From Okaa-san,  
To Ki-chan  
May 9, 2006_  
  
Reading the first few words written there had somehow make Ryosuke shivers. Then re-reading the lines, he just realize that the date written was the day of his birthday. Frowning, he choose to continue reading.  
  
 _May 9, 2006  
  
Dear journal, well I’d prefer a journal rather than a diary as Okaa-san mentioned. Diaries are for girls, and I don’t want to be called a girl. Enough of people made fun of me by my girlish feature.. Anyway, this is the first entry in this journal, which Okaa-san just gave me for my 13th birthday ! Yes, today is my birthday, and I cannot wish for more to spend my birthday with my families. Even Otou-san took a break from his works and Onee-san was there too even though she was busy with her college. And I was so happy to say the least ! Ah ! Okaa-san is calling me. We’re about to go to have a dinner at my favourite restaurant ! Well, see you !_  
  
‘Ah, so this was Kite-kun’s journal I think. I never knew that we shared the same birthday.’ Thought Ryosuke as he opens the next few pages which mostly consist about the days the writer gone through.  
  
 _September 17, 2006  
  
Dear journal, I felt so happy today because I passed as a Johnny’s ! It was so hard to get in there and I won’t get that hardworking come to a waste. I’ll work hard from now on too, ne ! Anyway, I met someone really nice today. He’s my very first friend at Jimusho and he’s so kind to me. His name is Yamada Ryosuke and what I like from him the most is his chubby-cheeks ! I really want to pinch them but it would be rude of me~ Anyway, I’m tired and want to go to sleep already. Ja ne~_  
  
Bits of memories rush through Ryosuke’s head. The familiar face…  
  
 _May 9, 2007  
  
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe this.Me and Yamada-kun actually shared the same birthday ! I know it when Nakajima-kun, Morimoto-kun and the other juniors gave him a surprise birthday celebration. He was so afraid of darkness and they locked him inside the unused room which lamp is broken. I felt pity for him and tried to asked them to release him already, but they won’t listen. So I just waited there along with the other juniors. We could hear him screaming, crying, and even kicking around. The other juniors were giggling but I couldn’t. I was worried. What if something happened there ? After about an hour or so, they finally unlocked the door. I was nearly shrieked when we saw him on the ground hugging himself tight with an unusually pale face and a blank yet terrified look. Traces of tears could be seen all over his face. He seemed to be too scared since he didn’t even recognized us coming. I was about to rush toward him but Nakajima-kun beated me. He worriedly helped Yamada-kun stood up and lead him out of the room. Really, if he’s Yamada-kun’s bestfriend, then he should’ve known better than to locked him in that kind of place. Yamada-kun’s face kept blank eventhough he was no longer inside that room and it made me worry more. Only after they brought in the cake did he brought out of his trance. But just like the incident before never happened, he easily forgave them and returned to his old self. He’s really nice ne~ If it was me, I won’t talk to them ever again. Even if they bribed me with the world._  
  
Ryosuke shivered at the memory. He remembered that day like it just happened yesterday. He was upset of course, but knowing the reason behind that tragedy, he just let it go. He was one of that naughty kids too. So maybe that was on of his lesson. But aside from it, he never knew that Kite-kun was so concerned about him. A smile formed as he imagining the face of that person.  
  
 _May 10, 2007  
  
I’m pissed today ! No, it wasn’t because I got bullied or someone got into my way. It was simply because Yamada-kun wasn’t coming for practice today, and Nakajima-kun just said that he was sick so he couldn’t come. At first I didn’t really mind it, but when I got home and tell my families about the absence of Yamada-kun at today’s practice, Otou-san suddenly commented that there was a boy named Yamada whom got admitted this morning. I asked him about how he looked like and my suspicions proved right as he told me about the boy’s looks. I asked him what was wrong with Yamada-kun and Otou-san told me that he was sent there after he collapsed when having breakfast with his families. Otou-san said that he collapsed due to stress he felt or because of some sort of traumatic experience occurred to him lately. I practically snapped. Because of those bunch of stupid kids, Yamada-kun had to suffered like this ! I’ll be more than willing to teach them a lesson or two. But, given to Yamada-kun’s nature, he probably won’t like it, so I’ll just stay. Just watch if any of them attempted to repeat their stupidity on Yamada-kun again. Hmm, I wonder why I cared about Yamada-kun a lot. Maybe because we shared the same birthday ? Or was it because he was the first friend I met in Jimusho ? Ah, maybe it was just his kindness and friendliness. Any other way, he’s like a younger brother to me. Eventhough he’s only a year younger than me, but his cute and healing presence had brought me into a worry wart older brother.  
_  
Ryosuke blush a bit at this. He never knew that Kite-kun was cared about him so much. And to know that the older boy was thought of him as his younger brother. A warmth feeling engulfed his heart as he re-read those last few words written. With a silly grin on his face, he open the next few pages.  
  
 _May 24, 2007  
  
Dear journal, I couldn’t believe it. When Onee-san came home and told me that horrible news, I just couldn’t believe it. There’s no way that Okaa-san had… No, it wasn’t true. Onee-san was probably just playing tricks on me. But, why did my heart clenched so tightly it hurts just to breath ?_  
  
A pang stab Ryosuke’s heart as he read that. It must be times when Kite-kun’s mother passed away. And at the same time, also the beginning of his living hell.  
  
 _June 19, 2007  
  
Dear journal, Otou-san just did it again. It hurts, it hurts so much to be the receiving ends of those kicks and punches. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone else about this. I always lied to Onee-san when she asked me where I got those bruises. I knew she smelled something fishy, but as long as she didn’t know the whole truth, I felt relieved. I understand how Otou-san felt. He was just grieving about Okaa-san’s death and still couldn’t accepted it. Well, I myself haven’t get over with it yet either anyway. I just wish that someday, Otou-san will learn how to accept this bitter truth. Just like myself._  
  
Ryosuke flinch at the entry. He knows that since this on, there will be more entries with more violence written.  
  
 _August 10, 2007  
  
Dear journal, it’s getting rare for me to write here. Well, the Jimusho is tiring, and Otou-san hasn’t stopped from his grieving yet. I’m getting used with his daily beatings now. Anyway, today is Nakajima-kun’s birthday and I could see how bright Yamada-kun’s smile was. He made a special cake for Nakajima-kun, and it seemed like his satisfied face when he ate the cake was the source of Yamada-kun’s happiness today. I couldn’t helped but smiling at this. Somehow, seeing him so content was enough to erase the pain I felt, both physically and mentally. Now I looked like a girl who is in love. Hahahaha. Anyway, I hope we will stay close forever. As friends that is._  
  
Ryosuke smile. He’s glad to know that he could brought him a little bit of happiness in the past.  
  
 _August 30, 2007  
  
Dear journal, I couldn’t take it anymore. Otou-san had gone too far. He took a knife and almost stabbing me with that. Just before he could do that, I managed to got out of his grasp. Now I’m here, locking myself inside my room, waiting for Onee-san to come home. Because somehow, if Onee-san is around, Otou-san will returned to the kind man we used to know.  
_  
Ryosuke widen his eyes at this. Did Touyama-san just trying to killed his own son ? It was unbelievable.  
  
 _September 16, 2007  
  
I heard from one of the senpai that a new group will be formed. I wonder which group was that. I hope I could be at the same group with Yamada-kun, but he’s a member of Hey! Say! 7 already. Well, there’s always a possibility that the group will be changed right ?_  
  
Ryosuke just frown as he continue to open the few last pages.  
  
 _September 24, 2007  
  
Dear journal, as I wished before, Hey! Say! 7 formation was changed. It’s just, I’m still out of the picture. It was changed into Hey! Say! JUMP which now consist 10 person. But yeah, I’m not one of them. It seemed impossible for someone like me to be placed at the same group with Yamada-kun. And somehow that thoughts made me more frustrated each and everyday. Was Otou-san started to rubbed on me ? I don’t know._  
  
His frown grow deeper at that.  
  
 _October 18, 2007  
  
Dear journal, I wanted to get out of that place ! There’s no other reason for me to stay at Jimusho. Yamada-kun, along with Hey! Say! JUMP will be debuted soon. They’re filming their first PV right now. And it pissed me of ! Yamada-kun had started to make rift between us. We rarely greet each other again right now, and it hurts me. But as much as I wanted to hate him, I can’t. I guess I grew too fond with him already… If only I let Otou-san stabbed me that time, than maybe I won’t feel this kind of jealousy.  
_  
A tear and a pang in the heart. Ryosuke could feel the loneliness that Kite-kun felt.  
  
 _November 14, 2007  
  
That’s it. Their new official PV released today. And I will officially resigned from this place. I don’t care anymore. I couldn’t even felt the pain when my father abused me a moments ago. My life is end here. And all because of him…  
_  
More tears fell.  
  
“I’m sorry…” Ryosuke could only mumble to himself as he open the last entry.  
  
 _November 22, 2007  
  
I’ve decided. My life was no longer has a mean. I could no longer pursue my dream. Okaa-san was no longer here. Otou-san didn’t love me anymore. And Onee-san was rarely home for me either. I’ll just end this meaningless life of mine. No one will even felt sad about my lost anyway. Maybe I’ll burn the house for a little revenge as well ? Who knows._  
  
And after that, there was no other entries written. Only a few rips from the paper. Perhaps used to wrote Kite-kun’s last words. After reading the last entry, Ryosuke started to sob loudly. He couldn’t helped but shuddered at the heartless words written on the paper.  
  
“Kite-kun must had been so depressed. If only I was more aware of his presence, than perhaps his life wouldn’t ended that way.” He whispers between his sobs. “It was my fault…” And he continues crying until his eyes were red and puffy. And his nose is stuffy. Too exhausted after the cry, he fell asleep at the couch.  
  
 _“Sleep well, Yamada-kun.”_


	18. Chapter 17 - To Share The Warmth

“Ryosuke ! Wake up !” A familiar voice brought Ryosuke back from his dreamless sleep.  
  
“T-Takaki-kun ?” Ryosuke rub his eyes sleepily as he still feel groggy.  
  
“What are you doing ? Sleeping in a library ?” Takaki ask him worriedly.  
  
“I..” Ryosuke is trying to recall of how he got there at the first place. He rubs his eyes once again as it feels hurt, and rubs his nose which is unusually stuffy. “I don’t know.”  
  
“Did you just cried ? Your eyes are all red and your voice is muffled.” Takaki frown.  
  
“What ? I didn’t…” But he halts at his tracks as he remembers of what had happened before he fell asleep. “Kite-kun…” He whispers.  
  
“Ha ?” Takaki ask as he didn’t quite listen the last word the younger boy uttered.  
  
“I just found Kite-kun’s journal, and, where is it now ?” He stands up properly to find the book, only to find a blanket which wasn’t there before wrapped around him. The book is nowhere to be found. “Did you just covered me with this blanket ?” He asks while gripping the blanket.  
  
“I just came here when I woke you up. We were looking for you when we got home. You weren’t at your room, so we searched for you.” Explained the older boy.  
  
“So who- ?” But Ryosuke stopped his question. A soothing voice before he slept, it was familiar for him. And somehow, it gave him an idea of who wrapped him with the blanket. Or rather be what. It scared him, yeah, but he still smile at that.  
  
 _‘Arigatou, Kite-kun.’_  
  
“Let’s get going. You don’t want Yabu or Dai-chan died early because of worry, do you ?” Takaki smirk as he reaches out his arm.  
  
Ryosuke smile. “Un.” He then takes the hand, and with the blanket in hand, followed Takaki outside the library.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Where is Chinen ? Dinner’s almost ready and he still doesn’t showed up yet.” Yabu calls out from behind the counter, a pink apron framed his thin body.  
  
“He said he has something to do, so he stays inside the bedroom.” Takaki say as he tries to stifle a yawn.  
  
“Could somebody go and get him then ?” Asked the oldest JUMP, but it seemed that no one even heard him.  
  
Sighing, Ryosuke stand. “I’ll go then.”  
  
“Arigatou.” Yabu commented, without even looking at the one going.  
  
Ryosuke walk slowly to where Chinen stay. As he reaches the door, he start to knocks softly. “Chii ? Are you there ?” No answer were given. Getting worried, he opens the door quietly and start entering the room. Smiling at the sight of Chinen sleeping on his desk, with the books as his pillow, Ryosuke then approaching the boy.  
  
He softly shake the boy’s body to wake him up. “Chii~ Wakey wakey~ Dinner’s ready~”  
  
“Un~” Chinen start to stir and slowly, his head rise as he rubs his eyes lazily. “Ryo-chan ?”  
  
Ryosuke was frozen by the change of nickname. “W-what did you just call me ?”  
  
Chinen, who looked like just realized what he just said, stammered. “R-ryo-chan ?” He repeats carefully. “Is that okay if I called you like that ?”  
  
Ryosuke finally returns from his trance as he finally smile. “It’s okay. Now, shall we go downstairs ?”  
  
The younger boy smile brightly at this. “Un !” Then he stands and glomps at Ryosuke as they return to the dining room.  
  
“What do we have for dinner ?” The younger boy ask him curiously.  
  
“Not sure.” Ryosuke shrug. “But I remember Yabu-kun said something about risotto. So he might made that for dinner.”  
  
“Ah. Sou~” Commented Chinen as they reached the dining room. All the other members already seating themselves at the dining table, only 2 seats were empty at each side of Yabu’s seat.  
  
“Come on. We’ll start soon.” Ordered the oldest among them.  
  
Both Ryosuke and Chinen said nothing as they hurriedly take their seats.  
  
“Everyone’s ready ? Okay, let’s pray first.” Yabu straighten his body as he leads them to pray. “Ittadakimasu !”  
  
And the 10 of them start to dig into their foods.  
  
“What did you do at your room Chii ?” Daiki start the conversation.  
  
“Just reading some books I found at the library.” Chinen just shrug off.  
  
Daiki practically choke at this. “Are you serious ? But those are all medical things which are unbelievably hard !”  
  
“So ?” Answered Chinen curtly. “It’s not a bad thing to read, don’t you think ?”  
  
Inoo just sigh at this. “What are you planning from reading those books Chii ?”  
  
“Who knows I could outsmarted both Rui-san and Touyama-san and found the antidote for Ryo-chan~” Said the shortest member of JUMP while stuffing his mouth with risotto.  
  
The room fell silent immediately.  
  
“Arigatou Chii. But you don’t have to do that for me. Really.” Everyone’s faces turned immediately to the source of the voice. Their faces fell at the sad smile framing the boy.  
  
“But I want to do something for Ryo-chan !” Chinen insisted. “All these times, it was always Ryo-chan who helped me. Ryo-chan was always be the one who cheered me up when I was sad. Ryo-chan was also always smiled at me whenever I was tired, as if encouraging me to hold on a little longer. He would always treat me an ice-cream after the hard works, made me forgot the exhaustion from the works. He was always there when I needed someone the most. And at least, I wanted to try to help him to get over from his sufferings… Ryo-chan was too nice to suffer. I just… I just…”  
  
But Chinen never managed to finish his words as he felt the warmest hug he ever felt. Eventually, Ryosuke had got out of his chair and toward the younger boy, engulfing him with his embrace. After sometimes, Ryosuke finally pull away and show Chinen his gentle smile. His hand reach out and wipe the tears which were streaming down the younger face unconsciously.  
  
“And Chinen is too cute to shed a tear.” He says softly. “Arigatou na, Chii~ But you really don’t have to do that. Your smiles and presences were enough for me. And I couldn’t ask for more.”  
  
“I…” Chinen hung his head down low. “I just wanted to help.”  
  
“I know.” Ryosuke lift his head up. “And if you really meant to do so, smile for me. Seeing you crying like this make my heart hurt. So smile ne~ Because it was your smile which made my days brighter.” Then Ryosuke look around the other 8 boys. “All of you did.” And he smiles wider.  
  
Most of them were trying to hold their tears. Seeing the scene shown in front of them make their hearts clench. But it was Ryosuke asking already. So they put up their smiles, intending to never show their tears in front of the smiling boy.  
  
 _‘Why, of all people he has to be the one who suffered like this ? It’s not fair !’_ Takaki clench his fist tightly.  
  
 _‘Ryosuke…’_ Yuto turn away, hiding his tears which he couldn’t hold anymore.  
  
 _‘I can’t watch this any longer. I can’t.’_ Inoo close his eyes, unable to see the sight in front of him.  
  
‘This is so frustrating ! I wanted to say something but I can’t find anything to say ! Argh !’ Ryutaro mess up his hair frustatingly.  
  
 _‘Say something ! Just anything ! Just say any stupid jokes like you used to said !’_ Hikaru open then closing his mouth like a fish, but no words were spoken.  
  
 _‘Really, now what can we really do ?’_ Keito look into the ceiling, his eyes longing for something.  
  
 _‘It’s not fair ! He’s still too young and has a very bright future !’_ Yabu stare at the 2 boys beside him sadly. _‘If I could, I would…’_  
  
“I’d like to do anything, anything just to trade places with you.” Every eyes staring at Daiki.  
  
“No.” Ryosuke said sternly. “Even if there is a way for us to change places, I won’t let you do that.”  
  
“But…” Daiki rise his head in frustration.  
  
“Dai-chan…” Ryosuke’s voice is soft, yet, there is strong determination in there. “Please, for this time, let me be selfish. I know I wouldn’t be able stay strong if you were in my position, and for that, I don’t want you to feel what I’d felt. I just, couldn’t bear with it…” Ryosuke look down as he starts to cry. “Please… Don’t say things like that.”  
  
“Ryosuke…” Daiki could only stare at him helplessly.  
  
“Baka Dai-chan !” Chinen suddenly shouting. “How could you said such things and make my Ryo-chan cry ?!” He glares at the older boy as he wraps his hands around Ryosuke’s shaking shoulders. “Shhh.. Don’t cry Ryo-chan. I’m here…” He rubs Ryosuke’s back gently before returning his gaze toward Daiki. “Apologize ! Now !” He whispers coldly.  
  
Daiki, taken aback by the sudden scold, immediately return from his daze and stare at Ryosuke with wide eyes. “Uwaaa~ Ryosuke gomen ! I didn’t mean to upset you !” He rushes toward the younger boy and hug him from behind.  
  
After a few min like that, they could hear a chuckle forming from the boy who was being hugged from either his front and back. “You were exaggerating. Now, why don’t we continue with our foods ? We don’t want our Yabumama feel sad because his hard works for making us the foods goes to waste ne ?” He smiles again.  
  
The rest of JUMP just smile back as they nod and returning to their foods, start another conversation with a lighter topic this time. Sharing smiles and laughters to warmed out the house.  
  
 _‘I know you’re in the right hands. Be safe Yamada-kun.’_


	19. Chapter 18 - Rebuilding Our Broken Bonds

“Where’re the others ?” Ryosuke ask the only person sitting on the couch as he seated himself next to him.  
  
“Hmm. Let’s see… Ryutaro is going home since his mother is scolding him through the phone for 2 hours nonstop. Yabu-kun had asked Takaki-kun to babysit him though. Chii is going out to shop around and decided to drag Dai-chan with him. Inoo-chan went to the library to get some materials because he still has to do his tests through the internet and still lacking of sources, Keito decided to tag along. And both Hikaru-kun and Yabu-kun went to Jimusho to talk with Johnny-san.” Explained Yuto.  
  
“Eh ? Why did they- ?” Ryosuke widen his eyes in disbelief.  
  
“Apparently, Johnny-san had decided that he’ll put us in a hiatus if none of us showed up within this week. So the 2 of them decided to go and tell Johnny-san the truth and to negotiate with him about JUMP’s status.” Yuto sigh deeply.  
  
“I don’t understand. Who told you about that ? And isn’t that too risky to tell Johnny-san about our whereabouts ?” Ryosuke’s frown deepen.  
  
“Some of the Juniors are still in contact with us. Like Shintaro, people from Kis-My-Ft2 and others. None of us told them anything though. They told us that Johnny-san said that, so they tried to warned us.” Yuto said seriously. “And yes, it is indeed risky. But the risks will become bigger if we keep silent about this. Admit it Ryo-chan, we indeed need help.”  
  
Ryosuke was taken aback at the younger boy’s words. Not about how serious he was when he uttered it. And not about the talks itself. It’s more about how he called him. Yuto never called him like that since they started to grew apart. Ryosuke realized it, that he somehow missed the taller boy’s presence. Though their separation was unstoppable, but he still regretted that he had to put a rift between them. He still regretted that day he put an end in their so-called friendship.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
 _Ryosuke bowed his head low as he felt the other boy staring at him. His heart was thumping hard and loud, he was sure that if they pierced their ears, they could hear his heartbeats._  
  
“Ryo-chan ! Doushitano ?”  
  
Ryosuke could practically hear the younger boy’s smile. It was so hard to do, but he had to do it. He had decided and he’d went this far. There was no turning back.  
  
“Y-Yuto-kun, how are you feeling ?”  
  
“I’m feeling much better right now. Don’t worry !” Yuto smiled ever so brightly.  
  
“It’s good.” Ryosuke smiled back.  
  
“Un !” Yuto nodded his head in excitement. “I’ll be able to return to work soon.”  
  
Ryosuke said nothing at that. His mind was racing about the words he should say to the other boy. He heaved a deep breath as he uttered what had been bothering him lately. “Yuto-kun, gomen. You had a lot of works yourself, but you still had to accompanying me around. Teaching me the dances, consoling me when I was upset, walking with me home, and such. Because of that, you overworked yourself like this.”  
  
Yuto chuckled at this. “It wasn’t your fault at all Ryo-chan. You don’t have to blame yourself. I was more than willing to accompany you, so no one was at lost.”  
  
“But…” He trailed off. “I don’t think this will work anymore Yuto-kun.”  
  
“What do you mean ?” Yuto frown in confusion.  
  
“You shouldn’t hang around with me anymore. I’ll only slowed you down, Yuto-kun.” Ryosuke finally said it. And before Yuto could make any words, he quickly added, “Get well soon, Yuto-kun. Bye.”  
  
And with that, Ryosuke left without turning back.  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK*  
  
“I was a fool.” Ryosuke suddenly said.  
  
“Ha ?” Yuto just look at him with a frown.  
  
Ryosuke look at him smiling. “I was a fool, Yuto-kun. For ever letting you go. For ever following my selfishness. For ever ending our friendship.”  
  
Yuto can only stare at the older boy dumbfounded.  
  
“I thought that by cutting our bond, it will make you spread your wings even wider, so you can fly without having me as a burden. I thought that I was making the right decision for making a rift between us. I guess I was just a child back then.” Ryosuke stare at the ceiling with a contended smile. “I am still a child after all.”  
  
“Ryo-chan…” Yuto whisper softly.  
  
“Do you know how much I missed that call from you ? How I missed your company with me ? It was excruciating, but I thought that it was for the best.” Ryosuke close his eyes as he leans his back to the soft couch. “How I was so wrong. How I did my biggest mistake…”  
  
Yuto sigh as he too leans back to the couch. “But it was too late now to undid it all, don’t you think so ?”  
  
Ryosuke flinch at the cold tone the younger boy used. He knew it was all too late. But still, hearing those words being spoken like that, had hurt so much.  
  
“So there’s no need to regret things at the past now.” Yuto speak softer now. “Let’s just start a new one.”  
  
Ryosuke shoot his eyes open as he straighten himself and looking at the boy beside him in disbelief. “W-what did you just said ?”  
  
Yuto also straighten himself at this. “I said, let’s just start a new one. There’s no use in repairing the unrepairable bond. So let’s just start from the beginning.”  
  
Ryosuke was still left speechless before he broke into a shy smile. “I think it’s fine.”  
  
“Sou. Let’s get along well from now on then. Yoroshiku.” Yuto smile gently at him.  
  
“Un. Yoroshiku.” Ryosuke smile back at him. Finally feeling content as one piece of his lost puzzles have been found.  
  
Later that day, when the rest of JUMP finally got home, they were all smiling at the sight in front of them where Yuto and Ryosuke are both sleeping side by side at the couch so peacefully, with a warm thick blanket wrapped around their bodies neatly, the smiles never left their peaceful faces. And they understand, that the long broken friendship had been rebuilt with a stronger thread this time.


	20. Chapter 19 - The Bad Joke

“I can’t believe we just agreed on that.”  
  
“What other options do we have anyway ?”  
  
Both boys sigh as they both leans their backs on the car seats.  
  
“I knew it’s coming.” Yabu said as he glances outside.  
  
“I know.” Hikaru said curtly as he too looks outside. “Staying here won’t get us anywhere. We have to go and break the news eventually.”  
  
“Yeah.” Yabu agreed as he starts the car’s engine and drive ‘home’.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
“What happened ?” Yabu frown as he saw the living room in a mess. He catch a glimpse of Inoo who was rushing toward the kitchen. “Inoo-chan, what happened ?”  
  
Inoo halt in his tracks at the mention of his name and quickly turn to see both Yabu and Hikaru standing rooted inside the living room.  
  
“Kota ! Hikaru ! This is bad !” Inoo quickly rush toward them. “We were just back and they were sleeping and he woke up soon and we decided to just talk while he was sleeping and then he saw him sweating and decided to go get some wet towels but then his eyes snapped open and he just suddenly threw up right then and there and we panicked and he brought him to our room and then they tried to make him sleep but he wouldn’t he just kept on sweating and he’s getting paler and paler he start to threw up again and I was about to find a basin since he didn’t seem like he’ll stop throwing up soon !” He said it all rushly and he seemed that he had been holding his breath.  
  
“Wow wow wow ! Relax Inoo-chan ! Tell us slowly. And clearly of who’s doing what.” Hikaru put a hand on the older boy’s shoulder.  
  
“Inoo-chan ! Have you found the basin ?!” A shout is heard from the pianist boy’s room.  
  
Inoo take a deep breath as he point out at his room’s direction. “Just. Look.” And he fled away.  
  
Yabu could only frown. He turns to look at Hikaru only to find the other boy’s doing the same.  
  
“Let’s just, look.” Hikaru shrug as he leads Yabu toward Inoo and Yuto’s room.  
  
Inside, they saw the rest of JUMP circling the bed.  
  
“Daijoubu ?” They can hear a concerned face of Chinen who is rubbing the back of, none other than…  
  
“Ryosuke ?! What’s wrong ?” Yabu strolled toward them, he halts as he saw a pool of sticky liquids on the floor, which he presumed as Ryosuke’s puke. He takes a little detour and soon he found himself sit next to the boy, on the other side of Chinen, also rubbing the boy’s back.  
  
Ryosuke looked flustered. His cheeks are flushed, but his whole being was unexpectedly pale. Sweats rolling down his face and he’s panting profusely. Feeling exhausted, he leans his head on Yabu’s shoulder.  
  
“What happened ?” Yabu ask again as he strokes the boy’s hair. He could feel the boy’s heat radiating all over his body.  
  
“We didn’t know.” Chinen said quietly. His eyes filled with tears. “He was just fine sleeping one moment but then he suddenly threw up the next moment ! We didn’t know why !” He finally cries as he feels Yuto’s hands wrapped around him.  
  
Inoo comes in with an empty basin in one hand, and another one filled with water in another. He puts the empty basin on top of the drawer and take a wet towel from inside it and hand it over to Yabu. Understanding what the younger boy meant, Yabu take it and start wiping Ryosuke’s face with it.  
  
Once Yabu doing that, Inoo had without hesitant start cleaning the puke on the floor with the cloth he dipped inside the water-filled basin he brought along. As he finished, Takaki had offered to bring the basin out and clean the mess at the living room.  
  
“Gomen.” A soft voice is heard from the sick boy’s direction.  
  
“Why ?” Yabu ask him.  
  
“I made a mess. I…”  
  
“Shhh.” Yabu hushed him as he hugs the boy tighter. “It wasn’t your fault.”  
  
“But-“  
  
“No buts ! Just. Rest.” Yabu cooed him as he strokes the boy’s back and lulled him to sleep.  
  
Ryosuke, feeling safe now, finally relaxed. The comfort Yabu gave him make him yawn and soon, he fell asleep.  
  
Yabu put the boy down as he feels the regular breathing of the younger boy and smile as he caress the boy’s hair once again before he stood up.  
  
“Let’s wait outside. He needs his rest.” The oldest member of JUMP said as he walks toward the door.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
‘BUZZ’  
  
Yabu almost jump as he feels his phone vibrating from his pants. Cursing quietly, he takes it out and quickly read the message.  
  
 _‘Yabu-kun, I’ll come this night. Don’t bother to prepare the foods, I’ll bring it for you. –Rui.’_  
  
Yabu frown at this. What does the girl’s planning ?  
  
Just as he thought that he’ll just let her do what he wants, his phone buzz again. Opening the next message immediately, his frown grow deeper and deeper.  
  
“WHAT ?!”  
  
His shout startled the other boys who are currently gathering in the living room.  
  
“What is it, Kota ?” Hikaru ask him, somehow, he has a feeling as to why the older boy is screaming.  
  
Yabu’s face paled. “It was Johnny-san. He, he…”  
  
“He wanted us to go to his office right away.” Another voice finished what Yabu intended to say.  
  
“Hikaru !” Yabu stood up from his seat, feeling rather mad at how bluntly the younger boy said it.  
  
“Eh ? Why ?” The others ask simultaneously.  
  
Yabu sigh. “He wants to talk to us about the upcoming concert apparently.”  
  
“I see.” A different voice speak up.  
  
“Ryosuke !” Shouted Daiki. “How did you- ?”  
  
“We better get ready or he’ll get mad.” Ryosuke continue on, not even minding Daiki’s words.  
  
Everyone just stay still with wide eyes as they try to comprehend the words Ryosuke uttered. They can only watch the boy struggle of climbing up the stairs as he seems to be still weak from the previous occurance. Only when the boy almost fall down as he lost his footing, they break out of their trance.  
  
“Ryosuke !” Daiki rush toward the other boy’s side and gently support him upstairs. “You don’t have to go. You’re still not well enough.”  
  
“We have to, Dai-chan.” Ryosuke reply weakly. “We all know that sooner or later things like this will occur, and we also know that we can’t get away from it.”  
  
“But still ! You’re still sick ! You just wait here and the others will go for our stead ! I’ll keep you company.” Daiki try to persuade the boy.  
  
“No.” Ryosuke said shortly. “I have to be there Dai-chan.”  
  
“Don’t joke around !” Daiki yell. “You can’t go like this ! Your condition will get worse !”  
  
Ryosuke just smile at him. “You’ll understand later Dai-chan, why I have to be there no matter what.”  
  
Daiki left quiet after that. There’s no way he could do anything against the younger boy’s stubbornness. He could only wish that nothing bad will happen later.


	21. Chapter 20 - The Wise Old Man

“You can sleep while we get there.”  
  
Ryosuke turn to his side slowly with a frown. “Ryutaro ?” He calls out confusedly.  
  
Ryutaro just sigh. “You can sleep here. The trip will still take about an hour or so.” He pats his own laps.  
  
Ryosuke stare at him for a good minute before smiling weakly. “Arigatou.” He’s about to lean back on his seat when he starts coughing.  
  
Ryutaro just sigh again. He reaches out his hand and pull the older boy’s body close so now Ryosuke’s head is laying on his laps.  
  
Ryosuke widen his eyes in surprise but soon relax in the younger boy’s warmth. “Arigatou, Ryutaro.” And he slowly drift off to a dreamless sleep.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Sou. I understand.” The old man pput the phone at the cradle as he sighs deeply. His eyes darted toward the walls where the posters are hanging. But his eyes fixated on the one poster. The poster which consisted 10 young boys with smiling faces. He focused his gaze at the boy in the middle. The pale complexion of his skin looks perfect with his brown eyes. His eyes twinkles, but he sees deeper behind those shining contacts and see the burning passion inside him. He can see how much the boy devoted his life for his works.  
  
The man sigh again. He stands from his seat and walks toward the windows. He peeks behind the curtain and he can see 2 cars and 1 motorcycle pulled off in front of the building. He couldn’t figure out the faces from the 7th floor he’s now in, but he can imagining them just fine.  
  
He takes a deep breath as he fixes his composure. “Now you can’t be uncertain of what you have decided Kitagawa Johnny.”   
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Ryosuke just stand still as his eyes gazing longingly at the tall building stood before him.  
  
“It’d been a long time since I came here.” He whispers softly. “But yet, it still feels like just yesterday that we left this place laughing. As if we don’t care about the world.”  
  
Yabu approach the boy with a sad look. “Ryosuke…”  
  
Ryosuke just smile. “It’s okay, Yabu-kun. Let’s go.”  
  
Yabu’s sad eyes just turned sadder as he follows the boy inside quietly.  
  
None of them say a thing in their way toward the room of the top floor. It was still too early for the younger boys to showed up, but too late for the older ones to walk around the hallway, so their way was particularly undisturbed by the shrieking Juniors or the sempais who will yell at them for their unnoticeable disappearance. And somehow, they feel relieved.  
  
Ryosuke stop his track in front of one big oak door. He inhales deeply as he tries to calm himself and keep himself composed. A gentle squeeze of his right hand startled him, but as he turns around and see Yuto’s smile, he couldn’t help but feeling relaxed so he smiles as well. Taking a final long breath, he raises his hand and knock the door.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
At the sound of the first knock of his door, the old man’s heart skipped a beat. _‘It’s time.’_ He thought as he returns to his seat and straighten his figure.  
  
“Come in.” Comes the deep voice from his very own mouth.  
  
Slowly, the thick door opened and soon it revealed the boys he’d been waiting for. His mouth curved upwards ever so slightly, but as soon as he locked his eyes at the boy standing at the very front of the group, his smile fade.  
  
There is something going on with this boy.  
  
The lights he used to see shining around him now had dimmed into almost nothing. The compassion he used to adore now clouded behind those dark eyes. The star he used to be so proud of, now slowly fading away.  
  
He frowns as he watches the group walk closer. And without any opening words, he stares at the boy piercely and ask, “What had happened, Yamada-kun ?”  
  
Ryosuke flinch at the mention of his name. He lowered his head as he fiddles with his fingers.  
  
“I-I… I m-mean…” He stutter rather nervously.  
  
Yabu, being a responsible oldest member he is, decided that he should take the wheel now. “Johnny-san, we are sorry for the troubles we’d caused, but-“  
  
“I’ve heard so many explanations from you, Yabu-kun. And I think I’ve had enough. As for now, I wanted to hear the story from Yamada-kun’s point of view.” Johnny-san didn’t even look at Yabu as he said those words. “Now, if you don’t mind Yamada-kun ?”  
  
Ryosuke start to break a sweat. He’s having an inner battle between telling the man the real story, or trying to make up any. He’s really tempted to just spill the bomb right here and now, but there’s this nagging feeling inside him that tells him that this is not the right time to tell the man about the whole truth.  
  
“We are waiting, Yamada-kun.”  
  
Ryosuke bit his lips hard. He really can’t decided. At least not yet.  
  
“Yamada-kun,I don’t have…”  
  
“Gomenasai !” Ryosuke suddenly exclaimed as he bow his head real low. “There is one very important reason of why I caused this trouble ! But I really can’t tell you now ! But you can’t blame the others ! It was completely my fault ! So, hontou ni gomenasai !”  
  
An eerie silence followed after that. All the time, not once Ryosuke dare himself to lift his head. As for the other 9 boys, they could only watch as they were too confused to do anything.  
  
“You were thinking too much Yamada-kun.” A soft voice can be heard.  
  
Ryosuke was taken aback by the unexpected reaction. He had anticipated the probability of Johnny-san’s madness. He even had thought that he’ll receive a hit or two.  
  
“Look at me now.” He can hear the man said as a hand was put on his shoulder, and then Ryosuke look up, only to meet eyes with the gentle look. “You don’t have to be afraid of it, not anymore.”  
  
“But, why ?” Ryosuke could only frown.  
  
The man chuckle at this. “I didn’t say that I wasn’t mad. I was so upset to you all at first for suddenly disappearing without a notice. But then, as I was thinking it back, I knew that you had your reasons. And when this young lady came and explained me everything, I was kind of worried actually, so I called you up here.”  
  
“Oh.” Was the only reaction Ryosuke made before he realizes something. “EH ? Who is telling you what ?” He widens his eyes in horror.  
  
“Touyama-san just came and told me everything. About the plan his father made. About the reason of your sudden disappearance. And more importantly, about ‘your’ condition.” Johnny-san squeezes Ryosuke’ shoulder as he presses on the word ‘your’.  
  
“I.. I…” Ryosuke averted his gaze towards his friends, asking for help.  
  
“Johnny-san, we are truly sorry for causing you trouble, but we really don’t have any other choice.” Yabu decided that he should speak something now. “And if you don’t mind, please keep this information for yourself. We can’t take a risk of people knowing about this and accidentally spread the news to the people we shouldn’t tell. Especially now Ryosuke’s condition had gone worse…” Yabu covers his mouth in realization as he widens his eyes as well.  
  
Johnny-san frown at this. “What ?”  
  
“It’s nothing !” Ryosuke shout frantically. “Really…” He adds up in a desperate tone.  
  
But the old man was too experienced in reading people to be lied on. Since the very first time he saw the boy’s eyes today, he knows that something is wrong.  
  
“I know there’s something you hide from me. Now, tell me.”  
  
And the boys are all know too well that the man really mean it.  
  
“I guess there’s no point in hiding it anymore.” Ryutaro sigh.  
  
“Ryutaro !” Ryosuke warn him.  
  
“Why so persistent on keeping this anyway, Ryosuke ? Johnny-san had known most of the stories anyway. And by acting this suspiciously, he will only pry for more, don’t you think so ?” Ryutaro stated matter-of-factly.  
  
“But-“  
  
“What’s the harm on telling him anyway ?” Ryutaro ask even before Ryosuke could finish his words, leaving the room silence.  
  
After a few while, Inoo start sighing as well. “Ryutaro was right. There’s no harm in telling Johnny-san about this. Beside, he even could possibly help us in the future.”  
  
Ryosuke bit his lips in confusion. He stares nervously at the man’s challenging eyes before him. After some times, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He nods.  
  
Ryutaro make a small victorious smirk at this. And the others just sigh in relief, including Johnny-san as well.  
  
“So, what haven’t you tell me ?” The man ask again.  
  
“Well, it’s actually, considering to our observation, Ryosuke is in his latest stage already…” Ryutaro trail off.  
  
“Ha ?” For once the man looked like that he doesn’t even know what’s going on around him.  
  
“He was suddenly having a high fever this morning, and vomiting endlessly. And it’s been long since he was sick. So I presumed that he’s entering the last stage already. It was shorter than what Rui-san told us, so I also presumed that the medicines were not really working, or, they were not taken according to the prescription Rui-san made.” At this, Ryutaro take a glance toward the said boy who is seemingly nervous at this.  
  
“Anyway, it happened, and we couldn’t do more. So we contacted Rui-san just now. And I think that was the reason why Rui-san mailed Yabu-kun and informed him that she’ll be coming over this night. But it was out of my presumptions that she would come to you beforehand Johnny-san. So I was kind of surprised.” Ryutaro cross his arms in front of his chest with a frown in his face, with the others looking at him dumbfoundedly.  
  
“Wow. I never knew you thought that far.” Chinen commented curtly.  
  
But before anyone could say anything anymore, Johnny-san burst out. “What ?! So you mean that now Yamada-kun is sick ?!”  
  
“Uh-huh.” Ryutaro nod in confirmation.  
  
“So why are you here now ?! You should have stay and rest !” Johnny-san yell at Ryosuke. “And you !” He march toward Yabu. “You should’ve known better that you can’t let him walk out like this In this kind of condition ! You could’ve tell me !”  
  
“But Johnny-san, we didn’t know that you know.” Ryutaro state logically. “And we tried, but apparently, Ryosuke himself wanted to come here. With an excuse that ‘we will know why he needs to be here.’ “  
  
Another silence.  
  
“Wow, Ryu-chan.” Again, it’s Chinen who break the silence.  
  
“Was that true, Yamada-kun ?” All heads turn toward the boy who hangs his head down low.  
  
”I…”  
  
“Yamada-kun ?” Johnny-san called out worriedly.  
  
“I…” But before he could continue, his body sway and he falls to the ground.  
  
“RYOSUKE !”


	22. Chapter 21 - Scream

“RYOSUKE !”  
  
Everyone immediately rushed toward the falling boy, and since Yuto was the closest, he’s the one who catch the boy before he fell hard to the floor.  
  
“Oi, Ryosuke !” He screams furiously. He puts him down on his laps and then feel his temperature. “His fever has risen up ! We should get him to the hospital !” He stares at the oldest member of JUMP as if asking for agreement.  
  
Yabu sigh before he nods.  
  
“I’ll call Rui-san.” Inoo smile in relief at the decision Yabu made. He quickly make a call to the girl to inform her that they will go to the nearest hospital to attend Ryosuke.  
  
“I’ll get you to the hospital. Come on.” Johnny-san finally decided something.  
  
The rest of the boys just stay stunned at the sudden exclamation. They can only watch the retreating figure of the man.  
  
“What are you doing ? Hurry up !”  
  
And with that words uttered by the man, they start moving. Daiki help Yuto put Ryosuke on Takaki’s back before they leave and following the man outside.  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
If the situation is different, they surely will gaping inside the private limo of the leadman of JE.  
  
With the 10 of them filing inside, not to forget Johnny-san himself, the car still have quite a space inside. They can even put Ryosuke lying in what looks like a mini bed.  
  
“Drink everyone ?” Offered the man as he opens the small fridge beside him.  
  
“N-no, thanks.” Yabu answered nervously, followed by some nods by the others.  
  
“I understand. Who wants to drink at this kind of situation anyway.” Johnny-san sigh. “I was just nervous. I just need to do or say something to lessened my own tense.”  
  
And the boys can only stare once again.  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Where is he now ?” Rui ask hurriedly at the boy standing outside the hospital’s gate.  
  
“ICU. The others are waiting outside his room. The doctor is tending him right now. He said he knew you when we mentioned your name.” Hikaru explain as they walking, almost running, toward the said room.  
  
“Did you ask for his name ?” Rui ask again, a slight horror in her voice.  
  
“No, we were kind of panick, so we didn’t ask for his name.” Hikaru ask again, another wave of panick rush through him. “Why ?”  
  
Rui close her eyes for a while before opening it with a deep breath. “My father works here.”  
  
And that word is enough to make Hikaru halt on his way before resuming it, cold sweats sliding on his back as he gritted his teeth.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Rui-san.” Chinen call out to the figure approaching them fast.  
  
“Is he inside ?” Without even acknowledging the call, she asks hurriedly.  
  
“Yes. But what- ?” But before Yabu can finish his words, the girl had storming inside the isolated room.  
  
“Hey !” Shouted the boys. But her back had disappeared behind that door.  
  
“Kota !”  
  
Yabu turn toward his caller. “Hikaru ! What’s up ? Why did she suddenly went inside ?”  
  
Hikaru try to catch his rapid breath before answering. “We’ve been trapped !”  
  
“What do you mean we’ve been trapped ?” Yabu ask just as anxious.  
  
Hikaru take a big gulp. “The man inside with Ryosuke, there might be a possibility that he’s Rui-san’s father’s companion.”  
  
“What ?” Yabu widen his eyes in disbelief.  
  
“Or worse.” Hikaru continue. “He might be Rui-san’s father himself.”  
  
“STOP THAT !!”  
  
A scream which obviously came from the woman erupted from inside the room brought them back to reality. But what feared them the most is the next scream of pain erupted after that.  
  
“No…”


	23. Chapter 22 - Trust That Lady

Rui stopped dead on her tracks at the sight in front of him. A familiar figure standing beside the bed where Ryosuke is lying on. There’s nothing wrong if she knew that it wasn’t her father standing there. Strangling Ryosuke who is struggling weakly with the remaining strength he had.  
  
She was left paralyzed for a moment before she could move her body again. She quickly runs toward the men and try with all her might to release the hands from Ryosuke’s neck.  
  
The man seemed like he’s surprised by the sudden appearance as he turns toward his attacker. “Rui…”  
  
“Stop it please… Otou-san…” Tears already escaped her eyes as she whispers the words.  
  
After a few min of fighting, Rui finally managed to release Ryosuke from the death grip. She smiles lightly as she saw the boy coughing while weakly touching his aching neck. At least he’s alive.  
  
“Why did you stop me ?” The middle-aged man ask angrily.  
  
“Why did you do that at the first place ?” Rui demanded back.  
  
“You know it well Rui !” The man whispers angrily. “He’s the one who took away everything ! He killed Kite ! Your brother !”  
  
“No !” Rui shake her head continuously. “You don’t understand ! Kite wouldn’t do that for that shallow reason ! And Ryosuke never killed him !”  
  
“He is one of the cause !” Touyama hiss.  
  
“But not the major one !” Rui almost shout in despair.  
  
“He still the one who triggered Kite’s suicide !” Touyama push Rui back. “Can’t you understand ? He’s only a misfortune ! A hindrance ! He could only took away things from people around him ! If he was never there, his friends will still have their spotlights ! If he was never there, Kite will still be here with us ! If not for this damned kid !”  
  
‘SLAP’  
  
Touyama step back at the painful slap he received from his own daughter. “Rui…”  
  
“You were wrong ! Ryosuke never did anything ! He never meant bad for anyone ! He must have suffered too, knowing that he might be the reasons for things you accussed him !” Rui exclaim between her cries.  
  
“Rui… You…” Touyama muttered under his breath. He then turn to look at Ryosuke who was just watching the two of them fighting the whole time. He then marched toward the boy as he pulls out something from his pocket. “Because of you, my daughter dared to hit me !” As he points the thing at Ryosuke.  
  
Rui widen her eyes at the realization of what his father is doing. Marching toward the man in hope she won’t be too late, she screams.  
  
“STOP THAT !!”  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
 _“Ryosuke-kun ? Ryosuke-kun ?”  
  
Ryosuke slowly open his eyes only to be hit by a wave pain all over his body.  
  
“Ouch” Ryosuke hiss as he moves his hand to his aching head. “Where am I ?”  
  
“In your dream.”  
  
Ryosuke stare at the familiar smile.  
  
“Kite-kun ?” He calls out.  
  
Kite nod at the call, but soon, his smile turned into a bitter one. “Gomen ne, for what my father did to you. He was so cruel for saying those words. But he’s actually a kind man.”  
  
Ryosuke say anything as the silence bound them.  
  
“Say, Kite-kun.”  
  
“Hm ?” The other boy tilt his head to the side.  
  
“When you asked for my help. It wasn’t actually for the reason of your death ne ?”  
  
Kite just keep on smiling.  
  
“It was actually to tell your father, that no matter what the reason was, you never blamed him for everything. And no one else.”  
  
Kite just smile more as he stares into Ryosuke’s eyes gently.  
  
“I have no regrets, Ryosuke-kun. I did a mistake, and I accept that. But someone in your world couldn’t, and it bound me here. I couldn’t go back, nor can I move forward. And though it’s hard for me to leave, I know I can’t stay. I don’t belong here anymore.”  
  
Ryosuke stare back at those orbs sadly.  
  
“I’m sorry. If only I knew sooner.”  
  
“It’s no one’s fault, Ryosuke-kun. I told you that.” The other boy smile warmly.  
  
Ryosuke return the smile just as warm.  
  
“I promise you, I will make him understand.”  
  
Kite just smile wider.  
  
“Arigatou, Ryosuke-kun.”_  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
“Ryosuke !”  
  
Ryosuke gasps at the sudden cold surrounding him. He looks around and saw those worried faces around him.  
  
“M-minna…” He calls out weakly as he tries to sit up.  
  
“Careful.” Daiki help him gently.  
  
“What happened ?” He looks around the room and realizing that he’s in a hospital bed.  
  
The other boys glances at each other before Yabu finally sigh and move closer to sit beside him.  
  
“When we were at Johnny-san’s office, you suddenlt fainted, remember ?” The oldest boy started.  
  
Ryosuke frown before he nods.  
  
“We brought you to the hospital, but unfortunately, we brought you to where Touyama-san worked and he…” Yabu pause as he takes a big gulp. “He almost killed you. And it was our fault.”  
  
Memories rushing back to him. He remembered waking up feeling the air were sucked from his lungs. With those strong arms wrapped around his neck, strangling him. And the moment Rui came and saved him. The time they were bickering because of him. When Rui hitted the man. And then when the man rushed toward him, pointing a sharp thing on him. And how he felt the pain on his stomach…  
  
Subconsciously, his hand find it’s way toward his stomach, but strangely, he felt nothing at all.  
  
“Why ?” He frowns. “I remembered him stabbing me here.”  
  
The others watched him in confusion.  
  
“He stabbed you ?” Yabu ask back.  
  
“Yes. Here.” Ryosuke point as his stomach. “I remembered feeling the pain before everything turned black.”  
  
“But… It’s impossible !”Yabu is hesitant at this. “I mean, you’ve got no scar ! And Rui-san told us that he managed to shoved her father before he did anything to you and knocked him down as well. But you were already unconscious.”  
  
“But…” Ryosuke frown as he rethinks about it all. “Maybe I was wrong…”  
  
 _“Or maybe I just always had a guardian guarding me.”_


	24. Chapter 23 - Rainbow Comes After The Rain

“How are you feeling, Ryosuke ?” Rui ask him gently while peeling an apple for him.  
  
“Better. Much better actually.” Ryosuke answer softly as he leans on his pillow.  
  
“So it works then.” Rui utter quietly.  
  
Ryosuke frown. “What had works ?”  
  
Rui smile. She brings on piece of the apple to the boy’s mouth and feed him. “Aah~”  
  
Ryosuke pout but still complying as he opens his mouth. “So what had works ?”  
  
Rui sigh while shaking her head continuously. “Guess you won’t let it off ne ?”  
  
Ryosuke just pout more as a sign that he will never do that.  
  
“Well, you know when I messaged Yabu-kun that I’ll come along to the house ?” Rui ask him.  
  
“Not really, since I was kind of asleep. But yeah, I knew.” Ryosuke shrug. “What’s with that ?”  
  
”I was about to tell you good news.” Rui smile. “That I, along my my companions, had finally found the antidote.”  
  
Ryosuke widen his eyes. “Hontou ?”  
  
Rui nod. “Un. And I injected that to you already when you were unconscious. It seems that your body accept it well.”  
  
Ryosuke smile brightly before he do something that Rui never expected. He pulls the older girl into a tight embrace.  
  
“Arigatou, Rui.”  
  
Rui’s shocked face softened at it as he returns the hug. “You’re welcome.”  
  
After a few times, they finally pulled apart.  
  
“But remember, young boy !” Rui flicked Ryosuke’s forehead. “You can’t be happy just yet ! Your recovery needs time, and at those times, you are not allowed to do anything heavy just yet. We still need to be sure, ne ?” She caresses the boy hair gently.  
  
Ryosuke pout but nod anyway.  
  
“Good boy.” She ruffles the boy’s hair.  
  
“Anyway.” Ryosuke started. “Where’s your father now ?”  
  
Rui’s figure grimaced at this. “He’s still out there. In the end, I still can’t sue him because he’s a father of mine.”  
  
Ryosuke tap her hand and give her a smile. “Daijoubu. Can I talk to him ?”  
  
Rui’s eyes narrowed. “What for ?”  
  
“For something.” Ryosuke said simply. “You’ll know later.” He smiles.  
  
Rui just stare at him with a frown before sighing and nod to his request. “But I will be there.”  
  
Ryosuke shake his head. “I need this talk just for the two of us.”  
  
“But…” Rui protested.  
  
“Please !” Ryosuke beg, sincerity in his eyes, and Rui can’t do more than comply.  
  
“Okay.” Rui can see the sparkle on the boy’s eyes. “But I’m stil not sure about this.”  
  
“Trust me, Rui. It’ll be just fine.” Ryosuke try to assure the girl.  
  
And Rui can only sigh, again.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
“So when will you get released from here ?”  
  
“For about another week ? I guess ?” Ryosuke tilt his head as he opens his mouth for the spoon offered. “Really, Inoo-chan. I can eat by myself !” He rolls his eyes.  
  
“But you’re happy ne ?” Inoo grin widely as he shoves another spoonful of porridge toward the younger boy’s mouth.  
  
Ryosuke just sigh.  
  
“Anyway, how’re the others doing ?” Ryosuke change the topic.  
  
“They’re fine. Actually, ever since you got better, we’re all getting better too ! And Johnny-san had made a plan for our reappearance.” Inoo explain. “Of course that plan was for after you fully recovered.”  
  
“It’s going to be great ! And I’m glad that the others are doing fine.” Ryosuke beam.  
  
“Sou ! So get better soon !” Inoo beam as well.  
  
“I’m getting better right now~” Ryosuke sing-sang.  
  
“True. So keep up the good work.” The older boy ruffles his hair.  
  
Silence filled the room as Inoo continue to feed the younger boy.  
  
“You really did a lot for me ne~” Ryosuke said suddenly.  
  
“Eh ?” Inoo is absolutely clueless.  
  
“You’ve taken care of me for all these times. Helping me out with everything. And Rui tried so hard to make me an antidote. Even Johnny-san did as much as to move me to another hospital and cover the bills. I’m just feeling, grateful.” Ryosuke smile warmly.  
  
Inoo smile as well. “Aww~ You’re so sweet~” He pinches the boy’s cheek.  
  
“Inoo-chan !” Ryosuke pout as he rubs his aching cheek.  
  
Inoo just laugh at the boy’s action. After sometimes, he finally stops. “We’re all friends. A family even. So it’s just make sense if we helped each others out ne ?”  
  
Ryosuke smile and nod. “I just wish I can pay you all back.”  
  
Inoo ruffles his hair once again. “Just get better. That’s enough to pay us back.”  
  
Ryosuke smile wider. “Un ! Arigatou, Inoo-chan !” He hugs the boy tight.  
  
Inoo laugh again at the reply and soon wrapped his arms around the younger boy’s back as well. “You’re welcome Ryosuke.”


	25. Chapter 24 - Wavering Feelings

_“I’m not really sure about this actually.”_  
  
“Then you don’t have to do this. I don’t want you to get hurt more than this.”  
  
“But I have to.”  
  
“…”  
  
“I need to.”  
  
“…”  
  
“I need to hear something from him.”  
  
“…”  
  
”I need to make sure.”  
  
“Ryosuke…”  
  
”So I won’t have any regrets.”  
  
******************************************************************************************************************  
  
“I heard that you’re looking for me, boy.”  
  
Ryosuke smile as he straightened his posture. “Ah, Touyama-san ! Please have a seat !”  
  
Touyama snort. “Don’t act innocent boy.” He stands quite far from Ryosuke’s bed.  
  
“But…” Ryosuke frown in disappointment.  
  
“Just go straight to the point before I change my mind and decided to kill you right here and now.” Touyama spat coldly.  
  
Ryosuke’s face saddened at this. “Very well then. Actually, the reason of why I invited you here, was because I need to tell you the messages your son left.”  
  
Touyama’s eyes widen at this. “What do you mean ?”  
  
“Kite-kun never blame you for everything that had happened to him.” Ryosuke started with a bitter smile. “He doesn’t want you to feel guilty.”  
  
“What ?” Touyama ask in disbelief. “How could you said that ? How could you accussed me like that ?”  
  
”I’m not accussing you, Touyama-san. I just simply telling you what he told me.” Ryosuke said quietly. “What he wanted you to know.”  
  
“This is nonsense ! He’s dead ! Kite’s dead ! How could you even knew that ?” Touyama lost his temper as he points a finger at the boy.  
  
Ryosuke smile. “I just knew.”  
  
“You !”  
  
“He wanted you to forgive yourself Touyama-san. So he can leave this world in peace, knowing that you’re alright.” Ryosuke continue.  
  
Touyama was left speechless for a couple of min as he tries to regain his breaths. He opens his eyes which is filled with rage.  
  
“You !” He points at Ryosuke. “You know nothing about me ! You know nothing about us ! You know what ? You are only a hindrance you know ! Because of you my son killed himself ! Because of you, he was frustrated to death ! Because of you, Rui dare against me ! Everything turned out wronf all because of you !”  
  
Ryosuke just stare at the man with sad eyes. Tears start rolling down his cheeks at the painful words meant for him.  
  
“Don’t act crying like a baby you damned boy !” Touyama spat. “Can’t you see ? Because of you, everyone has to bear a misfortune ! Everyone has to suffer ! Your friends had to restrict themselves ! They had to hold back for you ! They’re all hurting because of you ! They even had to hide because of you ! Lying and such ! Because of you ! It was all are your fault ! YOURS !”  
  
Ryosuke said nothing as he lower his head and cries harder.  
  
“You are just- !”  
  
“Enough !” Rui suddenlt burst in and stop his father from yelling. “Wasn’t it enough for you to torture him already ? Do you really want to hurt him more ?”  
  
“Shut up you such a disrespectful child !” Touyama push Rui away.  
  
”It was all are your damn fault !” Rui shout. “Did you think I was blind ? I knew you hurt Kite all this time ! Beating him up and everything ! I was at fault too for not trying to stop you back then, but I still have a hope for you to change !”  
  
Touyama was taken aback by those words.  
  
“Don’t you think it was enough ?” Rui turn her voice into a desperate whisper. “Kite said that we shouldn’t blame ourselves either. So why can’t you just stop ?”  
  
“I…” Without even finishing his words, the man fled away.  
  
Rui wipe her tears as she approaches the still crying boy. “Are you okay ?” She lifts his head and wipes the tears gently. “I’m sorry for what he said. I really am.”  
  
Ryosuke shake his head. “It’s okay. I understand. I was just surprised.”   
  
“Hontou ?” Rui frown, as if asking for reassurance.  
  
Ryosuke force a smile as he nods. “You shouldn’t stay here Rui. You should go for your father.”  
  
“But what about you ?” Rui ask worriedly.  
  
“I’m going to be just fine.” Ryosuke said firmly. “But your father really need you now. Go. Before he start doing anything stupid.”  
  
Rui hug him tight and kiss his head. “I’m sorry. I’ll be back soon.”  
  
“Don’t mind it.” Ryosuke smile as he watches the girl leave as well.  
  
After a couple of min, he sighs deeply.  
  
“He was right. I was only a burden.”  
  
And he can only stare at the darkening sky outside his window.


	26. Chapter 25 - The Dark Sky

“Otou-san !” Rui run toward his father figure sitting by the bench at the park just a little bit away from the hospital. “Otou-san.”  
  
“Was I really wrong ?” Touyama utter sadly without even turning his head toward his daughter.  
  
Rui sigh deeply as he take a seat beside him. “Yes, you were wrong.”  
  
”Yappari.” The man laid his head back and stare at the dark sky.  
  
“But I was wrong too. We’re both at fault.” Rui said softly.  
  
Touyama said nothing as they just let the silence bound them.  
  
“I know it. I know that it was my fault Kite decided to took the easy way out. I guess, I did it to that boy so I could free myself from the guilt.” He touches his heart and clutching it tight. “But it wasn’t. It was just adding the pain. I guess my way didn’t work.”  
  
“It will never work.” Rui turn to face her father. “Since you were taking the wrong way.”  
  
“I know.” Touyama smile bitterly.  
  
“But it wasn’t too late to take a U-turn and righted was wrong ne ?” She smiles warmly.  
  
Touyama was hesitant for a while before nodding his head and smile sheepishly.  
  
“I guess the very first thing I have to do is to apologize to that boy.” The man sigh.  
  
“He’s a good kid. He’ll understand.” Rui encouraged his father.  
  
“Yeah.” Touyama nod. “I can see that.”  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
Yabu is feeling irritated today. Ever since he woke up this morning, there’s this anxious feeling and it irritated him. He easily got angry just by a single word. Chinen is one of his unfortunate victim.  
  
“What’s wrong with you today Kota ? You had that frown ever since you woke up and it makes you grow old faster !” Hikaru exlaim frustatingly.  
  
Yabu sigh. “I don’t know. I just feel anxious.”  
  
“About what ?” Hikaru ask again.  
  
“I don’t know.” Yabu shake his head. “I just hope it was only my feeling.”  
  
Hikaru sigh. “Don’t worry, everything will be just fine.”  
  
“Un.” Yabu nod in agreement.  
  
Hikaru smirk. “Maybe you’re just PMS-ing.”  
  
A vein popped out on Yabu’s forehead. “You’re dead Yaotome Hikaru.”  
  
*************************************************************************************************************  
  
Yuto pick up the phone which was constantly ringing in the midst of the busy bodies.  
  
“Moshi-moshi ?”  
  
 _“Nakajima-kun ?”_ Came a worried female voice from the other line.  
  
“Hai. Are you Rui-san ?” Yuto ask just to make sure.  
  
 _“Yes, yes ! Where’s Yabu-kun ?”_  
  
“I don’t know. He’s not around. Why ?” Yuto frown as he senses that something is wrong.  
  
 _“Guess I just had to tell you.”_ Rui sigh deeply. _“Ryosuke ran away from the hospital.”  
_  
Yuto forgot everything the moment those words came into his hearing.  
  
 _“Nakajima-kun ? Are you still there ? Nakajima-kun ?”_  
  
But Yuto doesn’t even care. The handle slip from his hand and make a small thud on the carpeted floor.  
  
“Yuto ? What’s wrong ?” Keito frown at the sight of his gaping friend.  
  
Yuto was brought back to reality at the sound of his friend. He turns around to see Keito stand there with a worried look etched on his face.  
  
“Keito…” He finally managed to get his voice back. “Ryosuke…”  
  
”What ? What happened with Rysouke ?” Keito is getting anxious by every sec passed.  
  
“Rui-san told me, that Ryosuke, he, he was running away from the hospital.”  
  
Keito widen his eyes in disbelief.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
“We’re sorry, we’re late. The rain kept us for a while.” Yabu apologized but greeted with silence in return.  
  
“Guys ?” Hikaru call out as he share a glance with Yabu.  
  
“Where are they ?” Yabu ask loudly.  
  
Not long after, they can see a blur rushing out from the kitchen, only to be greeted by a disappointed face of Chinen.  
  
“Oh, it’s you.” His shoulders slumped as he turns around to return to the kitchen.  
  
“Chii ?” Yabu call out. He catches up toward the boy and seated himself beside the boy at the dining table. “What’s wrong ? Where are the others ?”  
  
The youngest boy among the 3 boys turn toward the 2 older boys. His eyes are all red and puffy. It’s obvious that he’d been crying, hard.  
  
“Kota-nii…” Chinen started.  
  
Yabu was started by the sudden nickname, but decided to ignore it for now. “Yes ?” He responds softly.  
  
“Rui-san called about 2 hours ago.” Chinen sniffed. “She said that Ryo-chan ran away from the hospital.”  
  
Both Yabu and Hikaru widen their eyes in horror.  
  
“What ?!” They both exclaimed at the same time.  
  
“The others went to search for Ryo-chan. They told me and Ryu-chan to stayed. Just in case Ryo-chan came home. We tried to call you, be we couldn’t. We were so worried. I am worried.” Chinen was practically sobbing now.  
  
His little hands are reaching out, and Yabu can only hold him back and let the boy cries on his chest.  
  
“Chii ?” Hikaru said hesitatedly.  
  
Chinen sniff for a while before raising his head toward the other boy. “Nani, Hika-nii ?”  
  
Hikaru smile at the nickname. “Where is Ryutaro right now ?”  
  
Chinen shake his head. “After an hour waiting here, Ryu-chan said that he’s tired and that he’s going to wait inside his room.”  
  
Hikaru nod. “Wakatta. I’ll go see him then. You’re alright just with Kota here right ?”  
  
Chinen nod as well. “I think he’s worried too. But he hides it. He also need someone to accompany him.”  
  
“Aa.” Hikaru then turn toward the older boy. “You take care of him ne ?”  
  
Yabu just nod as he watches the other boy walk away.  
  
**************************************************************************************************************  
  
‘KNOCK KNOCK’  
  
“Ryutaro ? May I come in ?” Hikaru try. Hearing no response from inside, he thought that Ryutaro is already asleep and decided to just invited himself in. “Ryutaro, I’m coming in.”  
  
He was met with a dim room, saved for the light from the bedside table where the only lamp is on. Hikaru smile bitterly as he approaches the lump under the thick blanket.  
  
But his smile turn into a frown as he hear a whimpering sound from where the boy is. Stepping closer to the boy. He frown as he can hear the boy is crying silently more clearly now.  
  
He sits beside the lump, careful not to sit on anything as he slowly open the blanket covered his whole body. He softly caress the hair of the younger boy whose body is shakin slightly.  
  
“It’s okay, Ryutaro. You can cry as much as you want.” Hikaru cooed the boy.  
  
Slowly, the sound of the sobs is increasing in volume.  
  
After a few min, the younger boy finally calmed down. But Hikaru’s hand was never stopping caressing his head.  
  
“A-ano baka !” Ryutaro finally speak with his muffled voice. “Making us w-worried like this ! What is h-he thinking ?”  
  
Hikaru smile bitterly. “We’ll surely punish him when we found him ne ? And I’m so going to make him eat tomatoes.”  
  
Ryutaro laugh while still half-sobbing.  
  
“Yeah. We will.”


	27. Chapter 26 - Red Night

It’s a little after midnight when the rest of JUMP members all returned to the house. Yuto who was paired up with Keito being forced to went home by his partner because he seemed like he’ll collapse if he were to search for more. Inoo and Daiki came not too long after the first pair arrived with depressed looks on their faces. Takaki, who went by himself, came last as he straightly dropped to the couch sighing heavily. They didn’t even bother to change their wet clothes from the heavy rain which is only getting heavier.  
  
“Where the hell is that boy ?!” Takaki hiss angrily as he leans back and closes his eyes on the couch.  
  
“You should get change first. We’ll start looking again tomorrow.” Yabu instructed quietly. “We don’t want you all to get sick as well ne ?”  
  
And so, the searching parties reluctantly shuffle out of the living room to get themselves some hot bath and a new set of warm clothes.  
  
“We don’t even know if Ryosuke’s warm enough. We don’t even know if he even has a shelter under this rain.” Yuto said sadly.  
  
“I know. But we can’t do anything for now. We don’t have much choices.” Yabu commented softly.  
  
After they’re all finished changing, they return to the living room and sit silently. No one said anything as they just wait there in the deafening silence.  
  
It’s dawn already as the clock showed 3 in the morning. And Yabu decided for them to get some rest.  
  
“Minna, let’s- “  
  
But before he even managed to finish his words, the door slammed open and a figure stand there dripping wet from head to toe.  
  
“R-Ryosuke !” They are all exclaiming at the same time.  
  
But the boy seemed like he heard them as he walks toward the stairs.  
  
Yabu frown as he runs toward the boy and hold his wrist. “Ryosuke ! Where have you been ? Don’t you know how worried we were ?” He demands.  
  
“Not now please.” Came the hoarse voice from the boy as he struggles to release the grip of the older boy. “I’m tired. Please.” He begs.  
  
Taken aback by the act, Yabu unconsciously release his grip and can only watch as the boy walking upstairs.  
  
“What, was that ?”  
  
*****************************************************************************************************************  
  
Ryosuke turn on the shower and let himself being drenched more without even bothering to get out of his wet clothes. He leans his head on the cold wall as he finally let his tears flow. He makes a small sob as he clenches his fists.  
  
"Am I really just a burden ?"  
  
He scans the room with his puffed eyes as if looking for something. He walks toward the mirror and open the little box placed next to it. He found a small razor which is supposedly for cutting the bandage or such since it came from the first aid kit.  
  
He shakily takes the small dangerous thing with him and walk back into the shower. The man's words keep on replaying on his mind.  
  
 _“You are only a hindrance you know ! Because of you my son killed himself ! Because of you, he was frustrated to death ! Because of you, Rui dare against me ! Everything turned out wronf all because of you !”  
_  
Ryosuke cry harder as he slowly slid down the floor. His back leaning on the cold tiled wall.  
  
 _“Because of you, everyone has to bear a misfortune ! Everyone has to suffer ! Your friends had to restrict themselves ! They had to hold back for you ! They’re all hurting because of you ! They even had to hide because of you ! Lying and such ! Because of you ! It was all are your fault ! YOURS !”_  
  
"So if I leave, everyone will be happier ne ? I guess it worth the sacrifice." And slowly he puts the razor on top of his wrist. Taking a deep breath, he slices it. Blood soon dripping out from the wound as Ryosuke just hissing in pain.  
  
The blood is flowing out of his system surprisingly at a rapid pace, and Ryosuke start to feel light-headed from the loss of blood he's suffering. He smiles as his mind become hazier and his vision blurred. "It's okay if I have to die, knowing that everyone will be happier." And with that last words, Ryosuke close his eyes.  
  
***************************************************************************************************************  
  
The sound of the door opening and slammed shut could be heard once again. And they could only watch in alarm as the suspect trudge in to the living room. Only to find Rui in her most disheveled situation. Her clothes are wet and dirts could be seen here and there. Her hair is a mess, they could say that she had been just woken up cruelly from her sleep.  
  
"Is he here ?" She asks coldly.  
  
"He just came home about 5 min ago and straightly went upstairs." Yabu said softly.  
  
"Is he looked okay ?" Rui ask him more urgently.  
  
"No. Not at all. What happened actually ?” Yabu ask her back as he feels like he’ll know the reason of Ryosuke’s sudden change of attitude.  
  
“We’ll talk about it later.” She reply quickly as she rushes upstairs.  
  
"Hey ! Wait !" Yabu call out as he follows the girl up. The curious remaining members decided that they will not be left out, so they follow them too.  
  
The girl is frantically opening each and every doors upstairs to find the boy’s existence. And as Rui is about to open the bathroom door, Yabu suddenly shout. "WAIT !"  
  
Rui, as impatient as she is today, only snap. "What ?!"  
  
"I won't asking you why you seemed to be so eager in meeting with Ryosuke, but he's a boy !" Yabu hiss, getting mad at her.  
  
"So what ?!" Rui demanded.  
  
"How could you be such a stupid girl at times like this ?!" Yabu hiss in disbelief. "He might be inside the bathroom, taking a bath, NAKED ! Would you like to see him like that ?"  
  
Rui blush at the statement. Indeed, she didn't anticipated this possibility.  
  
"If you really need to see him, then I will be the one who intrude his bath." Yabu decided as he shoves Rui aside and knock on the door. "Ryosuke, are you there ? It's me, Yabu ! Rui's here to talk to you !"  
  
1 min, 2 min, but no answers were given. Only the sound of running water.  
  
"Maybe he couldn't hear us." Yabu utter. "Ryosuke !" He calls out once again, but still no answers. "That's it ! I'm going in now Ryosuke !" And he opens the door and approaching the veil which is covering the shower. "Ryosuke ?" He calls as he opens the curtain only to gasp at the terrifying view.  
  
There he found the younger boy, lying motionlessly with his back leaning against the wall, both hands hanging beside his skinnier body. But what terrified me is the red liquid oozing out from Ryosuke's left wrist.  
  
"HOLY SHIT ! RYOSUKE !" He screams on top of his lungs as he quickly turn off the shower and without hesitation pull his handkerchief from his pocket and wrapped it around the wound, in hope that it could stop the bleeding.  
  
"RUI !" He shouts frantically. "COME HERE NOW !"  
  
Footsteps were heard as not only Rui, but the rest of JUMP had decided to see what had happened as well, only to gasp in surprise.  
  
Rui, being a quick girl she is, immediately turn off the running water above the 2 boys and rush to get the first aid kit and start to tend Ryosuke's wound gently.  
  
"RYOSUKE !" Daiki try to approach the boy only to be stopped by Takaki who pull him to his chest and let the younger boy cry there.  
  
"Don't look Dai-chan !" Takaki whisper into his ears, loud enough for the others to see. Seeing that Takaki indeed was right, both Inoo and Hikaru decided to usher the younger boys out, convincing them that their friends will be just fine in Yabu and Rui's hands.  
  
"Come on Chii ! Let's wait outside !" Hikaru pull him a bit too harshly as to how the shortest boy seemed to freeze at his spot.  
  
"No." Is the curt answer.  
  
"Chii, please ! Let's just wait outside !" Hikaru beg.  
  
"I SAID NO !" Chinen scream. "I WANTED TO HELP RYO-CHAN ! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ?!"  
  
"There's nothing we can do here ! Let's just wait outside and pray for the best, ne ?" It's a rare view to see the joker man almost shed a tear.  
  
"But Ryo-chan need our help..." Chinen's voice weakened. "I want to... I..." And he passed out.  
  
Hikaru catch the falling boy as he finally broke down. He hugs Chinen's body tight. "I wanted to help too Chii... But what can we really do ?" Slowly, he wipes his tears away and pick the boy's up. "I'm leaving him to your care, Kota, Rui-san."  
  
Yabu said nothing as he watched the younger boy's back fade. He understands Hikaru's feeling, as he too felt the same. They are more than willing to do anything to help everyone, but somehow, this turned of event had made them feel helpless.


	28. Chapter 27 - Clenching Your Heart

"There you go." Rui's voice snapped Yabu out of his trance.  
  
"How is he ?" He asks hurriedly.  
  
"Definitely not fine. He lost too much blood already. It's a good thing that we found him this soon, or else..." She trailed off, and Yabu know that he doesn't have to be a genius to know what will happen if they were just a minute late.  
  
"What should we do now then ?" Yabu ask worriedly as he hugs the body close, only to feel the heat radiating from Ryosuke. "He's burning up."  
  
"Yes, of course. He'd been staying under the rain for hours and he's not fully recovered yet." Rui said matter of factly. "Just let him rest now. I'll tell you what happened." She adds as if knowing what's running inside the oldest member of JUMP.  
  
Yabu only nod as he picks the boy's body up, feeling somehow sick at the smell of metalic blood smearing inside the shower. He brings the boy to his room, leaving Rui behind to clean up the mess. Once there he laid him gently on Daiki's bed.  
  
"I'm sure Dai-chan won't mind if his bed got wet." He said to himself as he reaches for the closet and pick a nice and warm clothes for the boy before changing his clothes carefully.  
  
Once he finished, he moves Ryosuke toward his own bed and tuck him in. His hand briefly caressing the bandage around the boy's wound, feeling guilty out of sudden. He can hear the door's creaking open and feeling the girl's presence.  
  
"Tell me what happened." It was not a request, but a demand.  
  
He can hear Rui taking a deep breath. "He met up with my father this afternoon.”  
  
Yabu's eyes widen. "What ?"  
  
“It was Ryosuke’s request. He said there was something he needed to tell my father, so I let him did. He told me not to disturb his talk with my father, but I couldn’t help it so I waited outside to overhear their conversation.” Explained the girl  
  
“And then ?” Yabu pry for more.  
  
“My father was so mad when Ryosuke told him that my brother never blamed him for his death. So he shouted at Ryosuke, that he was just a hindrance to all of us.” Rui said quietly.  
  
"What ? But he's not !" Yabu cry out in anger.  
  
"Yes, we all pretty much now that he's not. But apparently, he thought that anything my father said is true." Rui sigh deply. "Otherwise, he wouldn't do this."  
  
"Ryosuke..." Yabu caress the boy's hair.  
  
"Anyway, does any of you by any chance have the same bloodtype like Ryosuke ?" Rui ask, suddenly changing the topic.  
  
"Well, no. He's the only B amongst us. Why ?" Yabu frown.  
  
Rui sigh again. "I thought so. Well, Ryosuke lost quite a number of blood. And I think that he'll need a transfusion just in case. It will be better if it was just between you, but I think it can't be helped. I guess I'll go find some from the bloodbank, since I'm not a B myself."  
  
"Sorry for troubling you." Yabu turn at her and bow.  
  
"It's nothing really. I've promised that I'll take care of him anyway. Beside, he helped my father back to his senses anyway. So it’s just fair for me to do this for him.” Rui smile gently.  
  
Yabu frown. “What do you mean ?”  
  
“I burst in before their conversation finished ‘cause I thought it was too much already. After that, my father fled. It was Ryosuke who told me to go and talk with my father, so I left him and catch my father up. We talked and we cleared things up. He’s alright for now. I just never thought that Ryosuke would ran away when we talked. I shouldn’t have left him alone.” Rui confess guiltily.  
  
“It wasn’t your fault. It was just in Ryosuke’s nature. Let’s just thank the God that we’re all fine ne ?” Yabu cooed the girl.  
  
“Thank you.” Rui smile. “Well, I think I should be going now. Take care of him 'kay ? I'll be back as soon as possible." And with that, Rui bow slightly before leaving the room.  
  
*******************************************************************************************************************  
  
Ryosuke open up his eyes slowly and greeted by the warm light and the sound of chirping bird. "Am I dead ?"  
  
"Sorry to disappoint you, but no, you're not dead, yet."  
  
Ryosuke was taken aback by the voice and quickly sit up only to wince as his head is spinning from his sudden movement.  
  
"Easy, easy." The other person gently push him back to lay down.  
  
"Yabu-kun ? What happened ?" Ryosuke ask weakly.  
  
"Well, let's see." Yabu start as he seated himself on the bed, next to Ryosuke's body. "You came home last night drenched in rain and immediately running to the bathroom. After some times, we kinda worried so we checked on you. You were fainted at the bathroom. It seemed that you caught a cold. Quite a bad one since you were out for 3 days already including today." He lied.  
  
"Don't lie Yabu-kun. I'm not stupid. I at least remember until I cutted my wrist. My question is, why am I here ? Why did you save me ?" Ryosuke ask coldly this time.  
  
Yabu take a deep breath. "Well, you were right, we found you fainted after you cutted yourself. It was a good thing we found you sooner than later. Really, what were you thinking ? Doing that stupid stunt of yours."  
  
"I didn't ask you to save me. I wanted to die already. Why did you save me anyway ? It will only add your list of burdens." Ryosuke turn his head away.  
  
"Don't say things like that Ryosuke. You know that you're not a burden to us." Yabu cooed the boy.  
  
"You know, I think you'd better off without me. All of you." Whispered the boy sadly.  
  
"What do you mean ?" Yabu ask him, feeling uneasy out of nowhere.  
  
"I could only steal things from you. I took away everything from you. The fame, the name, the title, everything. You used to be the one standing in front with me dancing behind. But it was all reversed now. I took it all away from you. You had to learn some new tricks to regain the spotlight I stole." He smiles bitterly. "I could only be a hindrance for you all."  
  
"Ryosuke ! We're not- !"  
  
"Don't say that you don't mind Yabu-kun. I know you do. Though you denied it, I know that you all have a bad thought about me for at least once." Ryosuke cut him.  
  
Yabu sigh deeply. "Maybe you're right. I mean, we're human too. We might feel envious at you once or twice, but it doesn't mean that we stopped caring. That's just the way it is, and we all understand it very well. I know you do too."  
  
"I do." Ryosuke said curtly. "But I don't care. Not anymore. So why should you ?" When he hears no response, he continues. "I don't need you to care about me. I don't need you to save me either. You could have just let me die and I would be happy..."  
  
‘SLAP !’  
  
Ryosuke widen his eyes at the stinging feeling on his left cheek. He raised his good hand slowly to touch the place where Yabu just hit him.  
  
"Don't you even try to think about that again." The older boy gritted his teeth. "EVER !"  
  
Ryosuke could only stare at him for a good five min. His mind still couldn't comprehend of what had just happened. He never saw Yabu get mad. At least not this furious.  
  
But Yabu was beyond surprise when the boy suddenly crying.  
  
"Then w-what am I s-supposed to do ? What a-am I supposed t-to think ?" Ryosuke ask ever so quietly.  
  
Yabu retreated his shaking hand and slowly he wrapped his arms around the boy and engulf him in a warm embrace. It sure hurts his back. But it worth the pain as long as he could erase the insecurities that the younger boy felt.  
  
At the weight which suddenly landed on him, Ryosuke thought of pushing it off, but when the warm hands start to stroke his hair, he stopped all of his intention and just cry harder. Letting all of his worries flow along with his tears.  
  
"Shhh... It's okay. You don't have to be afraid. We're here with you... " Yabu stroke Ryosuke's hair softly as he could feel the body beneath him shaking.  
  
"Doushiyo, Yabu-kun ? I don't understand !" Came the muffled voice.  
  
"Shhh.. Let's not think about that. You don't have to be worried." Yabu keep trying to calm the boy down.  
  
Eventually, Yabu pull himself up as he felt the shaking and the sobs gone. He smiles sadly as he watch the boy cried himself to sleep. He strokes Ryosuke's hair one last time before pecking on his forehead.  
  
"Oyasumi." He whispers quietly, and carefully leave the room.


	29. Chapter 28 - Awkwardness

Ryosuke wake up for the second times that day. He slowly sit up and can't help but blush as his stomach begin growling. He's starving. And he knows that very well.  
  
"Hungry ?"  
  
The sudden voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he quickly turn his head toward the source of the voice. He blushes more as he found Chinen sitting on Daiki's bed, smiling widely.  
  
"Mou, you surprised me !" He whines.  
  
Chinen just chuckle as he reach for the bowl on the drawer and walk toward Ryosuke's side.  
  
"I was just bringing this and then you woke up. What a coincidence. Here. Eat this. It's still warm." Chinen handed the bowl to the older boy.  
  
Ryosuke take the bowl while mumbling a soft 'Arigatou' and start to dig in. The porridge taste so good it made him smile.  
  
"Oishii~ Did you make this for me ?" Ryosuke look up.  
  
Chinen shake his head. "You know I can't cook. It was Ryutaro's cooking."  
  
Ryosuke almost got choked. "R-Ryutaro ? He cooks ?"  
  
"Apparently." Was the only word Chinen said.  
  
The slightly taller boy could just look at the food before shrugging and returning to his previous mission, eating.  
  
************************************************************************************************************  
  
"Come on Ryo-chan ! You have to meet the others ! They're all worried about you !" Chinen exclaimed happily as he pulls the other boy's hand, the good one it is.  
  
"C-chotto Chinen !" Ryosuke exclaimed back, but let the younger boy drag him nevertheless.  
  
Chinen come to an abrupt stop and make Ryosuke almost bump at him. Without giving Ryosuke a time to ask him what's wrong, Chinen start to yell.  
  
"Minna-san ! Look who's here !"  
  
"Chinen ! You don't have to shout like that !" Ryosuke hiss embarassedly.  
  
In an instant, all pairs of eyes turn to look at the source of voice. Everyone is in the living room except for Yabu and Hikaru who were once again have a meeting with Johnny-san, and Ryutaro who was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Ryo-chan ! / Ryosuke !" Both Yuto and Daiki exclaimed as they rose from his seat and go to hug the boy. "I'm glad you're okay."  
  
Ryosuke smile. "Un. Gomen for making you all worried."  
  
None of them said anything as they just smile at the scene. Except for...  
  
"Don't you have to rest ? What are you doing walking around so recklessly ?"  
  
Ryosuke flinch at the cold voice used from the other boy.  
  
"I-I don't..."  
  
"You don't have to be so mean Yuyan ! It was me who dragged him here !" Chinen try to defend the older boy.  
  
"Yeah. And it's not that bad for him to walk around for a bit. It's not like he's getting far anyway." Daiki add in.  
  
Takaki scoff. "You know what ? Whatever. I don't care about a person who was too weak to face his problems and taking the easy way out to run."  
  
"Takaki !" By now, Inoo already stand from his seat.  
  
"That's okay Inoo-chan." They could hear Ryosuke's voice come out so softly. The boy's looking down with a sad smile on his face. "Takaki-kun was right. I was a coward. I chose to end everything by cutting myself in hope that everything will be better.”  
  
Everyone was stunned by that statement. It was something new to them all.  
  
"What do you mean ?" Keito is the first one to come out of his trace.  
  
Ryosuke only smile as he walks toward the nearest window. Droplets of rain had started to fall.  
  
“I was only a burden to you all right ? And I could only steals things from you. I could only took away your happiness. Your spotlights. Just as how I took away Kite-kun’s will to live.” He slowly walk toward the window.  
  
Most of the other members gasp, except for Takaki who was just widened his eyes in surprise.  
  
"Ryosuke !" Daiki rushed toward the boy's side and harshly pull him to face him. "Whatever that man said to you, you have to believe in us ! You are not a hindrance to us ! And you are not any burden to us ! So don't you ever think about that ! EVER !"  
  
Ryosuke gently retreat Daiki's hands from his shoulders and walk toward Takaki.  
  
“Do you really think so ?” Ryosuke said after a minute of silence. “What about you Takaki-kun ? Do you really think so ?”  
  
Takaki said nothing as he just turn his head away.  
  
Ryosuke smile bitterly at this. “I understand. I’m sorry for being a burden then.” He bows deeply before standing up and walk silently upstairs.  
  
“You’re so stupid Bakaki.”  
  
Everyone turn their heads toward the new voice coming from the kitchen toward their direction.  
  
“Urusai Ryutaro !” Takaki spat.  
  
“You are worried like hell. That’s why you are now mad at him.” The youngest boy said calmly.  
  
“What do you know brat ?” Takaki ask angrily.  
  
“Of course I know. My mom always got mad when she’s worried.” Ryutaro sit next to the window. “But I understand, so I never mind that. The question is, do Ryosuke understand your worry as well ?”  
  
Everyone fell into a pregnant silence.  
  
“You know that he’s a sensitive crybaby.” Ryutaro add as he glance toward the oldest boy.  
  
Takaki just sat there in silence with a frown on his forehead. His feature clearly showing that he’s thinking hard.  
  
“What should I do then ?” He finally voice out.  
  
“Baka !” Ryutaro scold. “You go and apologize of course !”  
  
Without saying anything else, Takaki fled upstairs, following the younger boy’s trace.  
  
**********************************************************************************************************  
  
‘KNOCK KNOCK’  
  
“Ryosuke, can I come in ?” Takaki ask hesitatedly.  
  
No answer was given.  
  
Takaki sigh. “Look, Ryosuke. I’m sorry okay ? I didn’t mean to said those things. I was just upset. I was just worried.”  
  
Still no answer.  
  
“I really sorry Ryosuke. I do. I won’t force you to forgive me but at least I want you to know it.” Takaki lean his head on the door. “Rest well, okay ?” And then he turns around.  
  
Takaki is about to leave when he heard the door opening. He briskly turns around once again to see the boy standing by threshold with his head hung low.  
  
“Ryosuke ?” He calls out.  
  
“I… I’m sorry too Takaki-kun.” Ryosuke said with a low voice. “For making you worried.”  
  
“That’s okay.” Takaki lean closer to the boy.  
  
“And for saying those things too.” Ryosuke continue. “I was just confused.“  
  
Takaki gently lift the other boy’s head up and wipe the stubborn tears that rolling down Ryosuke’s chubby cheeks. “I understand.” He smiles tenderly.  
  
Ryosuke force a smile as he nods. “Un.”  
  
“Would you like to going downstairs again ?” Takaki offered.  
  
Ryosuke shake his head. “I’m tired. I guess I’ll just take an early sleep.” He said while yawning rather widely.  
  
Takaki laugh. “You’re sleeping quite a lot ne ? You’ll get fat soon that way.”  
  
“Mou~” Ryosuke pout.  
  
Takaki laugh again. “Fine, fine. I’m sorry. Come on, I’ll accompany you to sleep.”  
  
Ryosuke pout more. “I’m not a baby !”  
  
“Yes you are.” Takaki tease as he pushes the boy inside the bedroom.


	30. Chapter 29 - Serenity

“So after the solo corners, we’ll do some dances before proceeding to sing Mayonaka.” Hikaru explain. “Okay, from here, any question ?”  
  
Chinen pout. “I’m the last one to sing solo. Can I have more time to change ?”  
  
“No.” Both Yabu and Hikaru answer sternly.  
  
Chinen pout more. “Now I can understand how Ryo-chan was feeling to change faster than anyone else since he was always be the one who stepped out of the stage the last.”  
  
The others just laugh.  
  
“Gomen na Chii~ But somehow, my movements were slower than usual nowadays. The effects of being spoiled all the time~ So I need time to get used to the old routines.” Ryosuke smile apologically.  
  
“Hmph. Wakatta yo.” Chinen huffed.  
  
They’re not about to continue with the next topic, the bell rings.  
  
“I’ll go get it.” Keito volunteer as he stands and head toward the front door. Once he opens it, he frowns at the sight of Rui standing with an unknown man beside him.  
  
“Konbanwa !” Greeted Rui. “Is Ryosuke inside ?”  
  
“A-aa.” Stuttered the oldest member of 7. “What’s wrong ?”  
  
“Nothing. There’s someone who wanted to meet him.” The girl smile.  
  
“Okay. Come in then.” Keito open the door widely to let the guests in. He leads them to the kitchen where the others are gathering. “Guys, Rui-san’s here.”  
  
At the mention of the name, all eyes turned to see them and frown at the other man standing near the girl.  
  
“Touyama-san ?” Ryosuke call out, making all confused faces turned into a stern ones.  
  
“What ?”  
  
“He’s that man ?”  
  
“What is he doing here ?”  
  
“How dare he !”  
  
Ryosuke sigh. “It’s okay minna. You don’t have to be like that to him.”  
  
“But- “ Yuto is about to protest but Ryosuke beat him.  
  
“Please, Yuto-kun.” And it silenced the drummerboy. “Anyway, is there anything you need, Touyama-san ?”  
  
The said man is definitely to smile but failed miserably. In the end, he just sighs as he walks closer toward the boy. “I, I just wanted to say sorry. For everything.”  
  
Ryosuke smile. “Daijoubu. I understand.”  
  
The man glance at the still bandaged wrist of Ryosuke. “But, I caused you so many pains. Including, that.”  
  
Ryosuke frown as he follows the man’s gaze and smile in understanding. He touches his bandaged wrist before uttering so softly. “This wasn’t your fault. It was me, who was too weak to face my own problems.”  
  
“But- “  
  
”Let’s not reminiscing the past, Touyama-san. You came here to apologize and I forgive you. It’s just, I hope you won’t be blinded by your pain again next time.” The boy look up to face the man straightly. “Let’s not repeat the same mistakes again in the future ne ?”  
  
Touyama can’t help but smile as well at the sight of the warm aura surrounding the boy. “You’re a good boy. I really am sorry for doing those things to you. I was just, as you said before blinded.”  
  
“I understand it well, Touyama-san. Don’t mind it.” Ryosuke beam.  
  
Touyama laugh as he reaches out his hand to ruffle Ryosuke’s hair. “You’re so alike wtth Kite. So kind and warm.”  
  
“Arigatou.” The boy blush.  
  
“Next time, if you need anything, don’t hesitate just come to me okay ?” Offered the man.  
  
“No, I don’t want to bother you !” Ryosuke shake his head.  
  
“I’m not bothered at all. I will be very happy instead if you accept my offer.” Exclaimed the man. “At least I can feel that I’m paying my debt to you that way.”  
  
Ryosuke frown. He really doesn’t want to bother Rui’s father, but he doesn’t want to make him feel bad either. But then he sighs before giving him a nod.  
  
Touyama smile. “Good.” He pats his head once again. “Anyway, I guess it’s my time to leave. See you then. Next time, in a better moment.” He bows before he left.  
  
“I’ll return tomorrow minna.” Rui bow as well. “And good luck for your concert !”  
  
*********************************************************************************************************  
  
“MINNA SAWAGE !!”  
  
Yabu shout as loud as he can as the light shone at them, and then they start to sing, bringing the loud noises of fans mixed with their singing.  
  
They start to run around the stage while singing their song. He runs behind the other 4 members at the very back of the line. From his view, he can see Ryosuke halt in his run and also how Chinen who is running behind him fasten his pace and help the boy to get to their respective places.  
  
He smiles at the sight of it. Somehow, seeing it make him want to squeal like the fans near them who were shouting ‘Member-Ai’ and ‘YamaChii’. Though he can’t help feeling anxious for the boy to be tired already eventhough it’s not even halfway the concert. Maybe it wasn’t a wise idea to agreed for this concert to be held this early.  
  
Times flew fast as it already been the Junior corners and the 10 members of JUMP are all busy changing their clothes while chattering and sometimes being crazy by following the song being sang.  
  
Daiki frown while staring at the currently laughing boy who is seeing Hikaru and Inoo making fun inside the dressing room.  
  
“Ryosuke.” Without even realizing it, he’d already calling the boy’s name.  
  
The said boy turn to look at him with a questioning look. “Nani ?”  
  
“Are you sure you’re well enough today ? I mean, you looked tired already back then.” The shortest member of BEST voiced out his worry.  
  
Ryosuke smile. “Thanks for the concern Dai-chan, but I’m fine, really. You don’t have to fuss over me all the time.”  
  
Daiki sigh as he knew already that he’ll get this kind of answer. He pulls out the handkerchief from his pocket and slowly walking closer to the boy to wipe the sweats from his face.  
  
“Really.” He sighs. “You are such a stubborn kid.”  
  
Ryosuke blushed at both Daiki’s sudden action and words. “G-gomen.” He bows his head low.  
  
“But then again, if you’re not stubborn, then you’re not Yamada Ryosuke.” The older boy smile. “Okay, now rest and revive your energy before we rock the stage once again !”  
  
Ryosuke smile too. “Un.”  
  
“Ahh~ Ryo-chan is lucky na~” Chinen commented while smirking teasingly.  
  
“I hope I can get a caring girlfriend as well~” Takaki smirk as well, following Chinen’s antics.  
  
“Then, Yuyan~ Why don’t you be my boyfriend ? I’ll take care of you chooo well~” Chinen turn while showing his puppy eyes.  
  
“A boyfriend will do as well~” Takaki smirk wider he hugs the younger boy.  
  
“Shut up you two !” Daiki groan at realizing that he’s right in front of the other crazy members of JUMP.  
  
 _“You will be just fine from now on. All of you.”_


End file.
